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Hi. I`m always making poor decisions. I feel very depressed lately and I cannot concentrate on normal life activities. I have lost the interest in life. What to do? I don`t won`t to take any pills, I hate pills.

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Hi. I am depressed and I`m not taking pills. I am always making poor decisions too. I have these attacks of depression. During these attack all I can do is sit in my room, crying and feeling sorry for myself. Then I suddenly realize how stupid I am. Life is full of opportunities. There are many other people, just like me, feeling worse than I ever will. And they fight. I don`t want to give up. I want to fight too. I want to fight against this depression of mine. I have to find out what is the meaning of my life. I have to find things that make me happy and give my life a true meaning. I have recently started to paint. Let`s see where this will take me.
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I have to say, I know where you are coming from! I had for years upon years been opposed to "being" medicated. I have been so leary over time that being medicated would change "me". And for all those years lost by making the wrong choices, and numerous mistakes. I cannot make up now! But, after 7 months on meds my thinking has been so clear and sharp, not like throwing a dart at a dart board going with what ever hit at the moment. I have also stopped self medicating with going out and partying. My mood swings are no more. I leave the house , the couch, my inner sanctum ,& the darkness that has trapped me for years. Hence, I am not cured!!! But I am at a wonderful place in my life to go forward in.
Talking about with others or just some one you can confide in about what is roaming around your head and in your heart is awesome!! There is a solution! Tis no fun feeling hopeless , helpless and useless. All of that can be turned around!! The beasties in your head will wear collars!!! Or can be totally run off the porch!
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