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I previously posted a reply to someones topic a little bit ago giving her my opinion on abortion. Personally, I do not agree with it. However, like I stated in her post, it's wrong to be the judge over someone else therefore i am not passing judgement. BUT, I do have a question that I am asking in a very serious manner... Why won't any of you consider going through your pregnancy and then put the baby up for adoption??

Most of you talk about 'i don't have time for a baby' or "no money' etc.. I do understand a lot of you are confused and scared at the thought of even being pregnant! Then I think of myself, I have been ttc for 2 years with no luck and am now looking into adoption - I have discoverd most agencies will pay the birth mothers expenses and if any of these people who are wanting to adopt are anything like my husband and I, your child would have a great home. And another thing, i didn't say this in the other girls post, but I have 2 siblings that were adopted as babies and I sometimes think - their birthmoms had a choice too.. I thank God that she chose adotion because I love them so much.

Seriously, I am not holier than thou, and I know it is your choice and I really do respect that, but for my own curiosity since I am looking into adoption Do you honestly ever consider putting your child up for adoption or is your only way out abortion?

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ADOPTION requries carrying a pregnancy to term, and I will not gestate a pregnancy to full term.

I personally have chronic illnesses and take meds which will cause problems witha fetus, and I do not wish to change drugs.

Pregnancy is a medical decision, it causes PERMANENT chnages in our bodies, and not every woman is okay with these changes.

There are millions of children in foster care whom need homes.
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Wow, do you hear how negative you sound? I know you have had a tough time, but where is your hope? How about all of the children that find homes from foster care? And newborn babies rarely stay in foster care for long in this country. Pregnancy can truly be a blessing...who wants a perfect body? How long could it stay perfect,anyway? Adopt if you really want a child. Not every woman is intended to have babies, or even be a mother ever. That's ok. But if they are going to go around having unprotected sex and use abortion as a form of birth control, she needs to recognize what a hurtful, selfish person she is. Yuck!
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It's not negative, I am simply stating that I will never STAY pregnant, and offering a few reasons why I made that choice.

My husband and I are Childfree, meaning that we never wish to have children.

BTW- I do work in healthcare, and BC and tubal ligations/Vasectomies DO fail.

NOTHING is 100%. Abortion is a back-up method for women that had BC failures.
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Yes, but Carifary, you aren't pushing abortion as a back up for women whose birth control have failed, you speak about how a woman has a right to choose whether or not to "ruin" her body by carrying a pregnancy to full term. That's silly. Women have been having babies since the beginning of time. That's how you and I got here. I believe accidents happen but you and I both know the majority of women that get abortions aren't really on birth control, they are simply having unprotected, unresponsible sex. Really, you must work for an abortion clinic and I think it is rather rediculous the way you keep stating that you work in healthcare because you could be a candystriper for all we know. And if you CAN'T have children, then why do you say it is a choice you and your husband have made? That actually means you don't have the choice. Your choices are good for you and your husband, but the way you sound, no one who gets pregnant without planning it should do anything other than have an abortion. Tell me you don't work for an abortion clinic?
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I CAN HAVE CHILDREN...

We have CHOSEN to never have them though, and MY TUBES ARE TIED.

Actually the CDC states that 56% of women that have aboritons were on some form of BC.

I saw a woman just this morning that had an IMPLANT IN HER ARM, that is BC.

IUD's are BC too.

I work in healthcare, you obviously do not, because you would know that BC failures happen.

I support abortion REGARDLESS of the reason.
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Hi crikketgirl

I was reading your posts, and got myself think...uh oh. Anyway, I have a couple of posts on here in the past couple of days also that you may want to look up. Actually, abortions for the reasons of rape, incest and problems to the mother make up LESS than 5% of ALL abortions perfomed yearly.



I have 1 child and have been struggling for 5 years to become pregnant. I got a positive test 3 weeks ago and lost the baby. My hubby and I are looking into adoption. Not sure what we will do yet though.
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Hi SM30,

I was reading your post and wondering about what you said where the adoption agencies pay for the birth mothers costs. I too am wanting another baby and would REALLY love to look closer into adoption. Is there anything that you can tell me about furthering my search? THanks
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crickettgirl wrote:

Carifairy wrote:

ADOPTION requries carrying a pregnancy to term, and I will not gestate a pregnancy to full term.

I personally have chronic illnesses and take meds which will cause problems witha fetus, and I do not wish to change drugs.

Pregnancy is a medical decision, it causes PERMANENT chnages in our bodies, and not every woman is okay with these changes.

There are millions of children in foster care whom need homes.



Wow, do you hear how negative you sound? I know you have had a tough time, but where is your hope? How about all of the children that find homes from foster care? And newborn babies rarely stay in foster care for long in this country. Pregnancy can truly be a blessing...who wants a perfect body? How long could it stay perfect,anyway? Adopt if you really want a child. Not every woman is intended to have babies, or even be a mother ever. That's ok. But if they are going to go around having unprotected sex and use abortion as a form of birth control, she needs to recognize what a hurtful, selfish person she is. Yuck!

So, when you said you would not carry a pregnancy to full term, you didn't mean you wouldn't because you couldn't, you actually meant you wouldn't because you would choose to abort the baby instead? I see, Hearts and Flowers to you, Carifary. I also understand that BC fails sometimes, and I don't have to work in the medical field to know that, but I also know that some things in life are beyond our control. That is something you seem to have a difficulty understanding. I understand using every means possible to maintain your health and if becoming pregnant is something that could cause major health problems, then by all means maintain control as much as possible within your means. I would agree that abortion in the cases of rape, incest or death to the mother would be less horrible, but to push abortion for the sake of convenience or selfish reasons is really morally objectionable. I don't really think there is much point in discussing this topic with you, Carifary, any further as simply communicating with such a depressing, negative, and self centered person is not something I wish to spend any more time on. Your heartlessness is really very sad. By the way, all of the medical degrees in this world really cannot make a broken world heal and I really hope all of the women, young and old who are going through a difficult time with an unwanted pregnancy would just slow down and think before aborting their unborn child. It is not just a medical "thing". And it does hurt the baby. Go and talk face to face with someone who values human life. It is so precious. Don't fool yourself into thinking it doesn't matter, it matters so much! I grew up with a best friend that had at least 3 abortions, and she had birth control but never used it consistently, she simply aborted her babies. She was a wonderful, beautiful person, but when I became pregnant at 20, she staged an intervention with 3 other women I didn't even know. They told me I needed to have an abortion and that my fiancee would just end up leaving me. Why? I believe to make herself feel better about the decisions she had made with her pregnancies. Well, I didn't. And my husband and I are still together after 15 years and had 2 more children after the first and life isn't always perfect, but they are the best things that have ever happened to me. I know life is hard, but how does murdering an innocent inconvenience make it better?
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Do you know what GENERAL ANESTHESIA is?

The woman feels no pain, the 'baby' would also recieve this if the woman had.

Anesthesia is common is most NICE abortion clinics, in case you wanted to know.

The AMERICAN medical association, and JAMA agree that pain has no "WAY" of being felt until 24-26 weeks.

This is when THALAMIC connections are formed, which is NEEDED FOR PAIN SENSATION.
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Crickketgirl,

MY HATS OFF TO YOU !!! Your post was a breath of fresh air !!!!!



Carifairy,

I would like to know that you are ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that these babies dont feel anything. If you were in the amniotic sac, and your bones were formed, your heart beating, gulping in fluid, blood flowing, brain waves going.......REGARDLESS..... you cannot tell me that they dont feel pain from having their little limbs torn apart.



I dont believe anyone has ever "talked" to a newborn in the womb. You even said yourself in many posts that you felt that they were babies. I have noted your "bias" to sending these girls in these situations, to a ABORTION CLINIC website. Why dont you tell them to go to both websites, PL and PC.



YOU ABSOLUTELY cannot tell me that women feel no pain. I have spoken with FAR TOOO MANY whom have shared their physical and emotional pain with me. I WONT BUY IT.



You NEVER answered my question about wether or not you read the book "won by love" by Norma McCorvey, THE Jane Roe in the Roe V. Wade case. It is probably a book you might want to look into.



Hizgrace
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DO YOU know what general anesthesia is?

They use it for appendectomy, or other surgery. During the surgery, the woman would feel no pain, and afterwards medicine is given to also relieve any cramping that could be felt.

I had ZERO pain after my abortion.

General anesthesia is given to women during fetal surgery for defects, and it is widely known that the anesthesia works on the fetus as well.
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"""I previously posted a reply to someones topic a little bit ago giving her my opinion on abortion. Personally, I do not agree with it. However, like I stated in her post, it's wrong to be the judge over someone else therefore i am not passing judgement. BUT, I do have a question that I am asking in a very serious manner... Why won't any of you consider going through your pregnancy and then put the baby up for adoption??"""

Every woman pursues abortion for her own reasons. The reasons that women choose abortion are unique as the individual women themselves.



"Most of you talk about 'i don't have time for a baby' or "no money' etc.. I do understand a lot of you are confused and scared at the thought of even being pregnant!"

Unless you have spoken to every single women in the world who is facing an unplanned pregnancy you can't possible know what "most of them" think or what any of thier reasons are. Attempting to trivilize thier choices by making sweeping generalizations isin't very productive. These women are individuals with individual lives. Many have suffered unfortunate cercomstances. They don't have to justify to anyone thier reasons for obtaining or considering abortion.

"Then I think of myself, I have been ttc for 2 years with no luck and am now looking into adoption - I have discoverd most agencies will pay the birth mothers expenses and if any of these people who are wanting to adopt are anything like my husband and I, your child would have a great home. "

Ok, you are suffering a loss right now. The loss of a child or the ability to have a child. That loss is painful. That loss is real. That loss is valid. But that loss does not entitle you to another persons possesions, body parts, or child. This is a loss you are suffering. I have sympathy for you. I really do. But why expect another women to suffer that same loss - only worse - the loss of a real child who she has gestated and birthed - who she has suffered and sacraficed for - for your benefit? If you understand that pain why expect another woman to suffer and endure that pain just to make your pain go away? Isin't that a bit cruel? If a pregnant women is expected to just suffer the loss of her real born child (who is NOTHING like a first tri-mester fetus who she is not bonded to and is not a born person) and move on with her life - why aren't you expected to do the same? Why are pregnant women held to a higher standard - why are they expected to sacrafice something that adoptive parents aren't expected to sacrafice? Why must natural mothers just live with thier loss and get over it - but adoptive parents aren't expected to do the same? And just for your knowledge - there is no guarintee that any child who is adopted is going to a great home. Plenty of adopted children grow up in severly dysfunctional families and/or are greatly truamatized by thier adoption experiences. Everyone sugarcoats adoption as if it can do no wrong. That isin't reality. In reality some adoptive parents are good parents and some adoptive parents a bad parents. Some adoptive children get placed in good homes and some in abusive homes. Just like in any other dynamic. I just think it is unfait - how a pegnant woman is expected to sacrafice and suffer - and put her own mental and physical health in danger - for the benifit of strangers who only want her for what she has to offer them for thier own benifit. It makes me sad - that no one see's how explotive this side of the adoption industry is. Women are more then breeding things. I wish people would understand this.


"And another thing, i didn't say this in the other girls post, but I have 2 siblings that were adopted as babies and I sometimes think - their birthmoms had a choice too.. I thank God that she chose adotion because I love them so much. "

Hopefully the adoptive mom had a choice. If your cousins were born between the 60's and the 80's it is very likley that thier natural moms did not have a choice. It is very likley that they were forced to place thier baby's for adoption agianst thier will. Read the book - the girls who went away. It will open your eyes to the reality of the adoption industry.




"Seriously, I am not holier than thou, and I know it is your choice and I really do respect that, but for my own curiosity since I am looking into adoption Do you honestly ever consider putting your child up for adoption or is your only way out abortion?

:

Some women choose abortion, some women choose to parent, and some women choose adoption. The ethics and morality of those chouices are nothing more then personal oppinion. Neither option is more right or more wrong then any other. It comes down to what is best for each individual in each individual situation.
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Hi Mlynn,

That was a GREAT post. Forgive me, I became a little confused about the questions within. This topic of abortion/adoption/parenting often becomes quite a heated topic. As women, all of our views and opinions differ so greatly at times.

I have been researching some information about adoption for probably 4 years now. I have a son, and he is now 8 years old. My hubby and I have been trying for about 5 years now. So my considerations were open. I finally found out I became pregnant last month, and miscarried my baby. I think it was because of the 6 hour surgery I had to reconstruct my shattered footI, and didnt realize I was pregnant... not that I could do without the surgery, because my foot was DESTROYED from a fall. That REALLY shook me up pretty well.

Anyway, from what research I have done, and read and read.... adoption has changed greatly from what it used to be. I have a relative who went through getting pregnant (probably in the 60's) and was forced to leave and have her baby somewhere and come home. I know that was VERY hurtful to her, and I believe that "back in the day" they had very different standards.

I have had EXHAUSTIVE research, on adoption, and have come to realize that it is TOTALLY different than what it was "back in the day". I had the opportunity to talk with my relative and she shared her experience with me and helped me to understand what it was like. I mean, you can have good and bad experiences with everything that you do.

My miscarriage didnt change my views on anything, as I know that my baby rests in heaven now.

I agree with you when you said something to the effect of "not wanting to appear holier than thou". I totally agree with you. My posts, I try to be understanding while trying my best to provide what I believe to be facts. I absolutely LOVE helping women and encouraging them. It is not my place to judge others either.

I encourage women out there, if they are pregnant and confused, to REALLY take some quality time researching about all of their options as pregnancy is neither "a death sentence", "a brick wall" , or the end of the world. My opinion is that pregnancy is a gift, and a miracle. Believe me, I am seeing how much of a miracle it is in my own life and not being able to get pregnant (my mom had 7).

Every woman has SUCH A VAST way of handling situations that arise. It is not my desire to EVER place judgement upon others. It is not my job to do. My opinions I like to share with others, even if we disagree, and listen to both sides of the card.

You described a book in here that was good to read. I know of one that I read that I couldnt put down.

It is called "Won by Love". By Norma McCorvey, THE Jane Roe in the Roe vs. Wade case. It is VERY eye opening, and will blow your mind.

Many blessings,
Hizgrace
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I had a medical abortion at 7 weeks back in August. I went and did the abortion eventhou I felt attachment to the baby. I felt it was necessary to do it because the baby was a product of incest. Currently 13 weeks and 3 days pregnant and ever since I found out I was pregnant I have not a second of peace. I don't feel any attachment to this baby like I felt for the first one. My first abortion hurt me deeply and got very depressed and there I go and get pregnant again, same man. But like I said I feel no attachment to this other baby. I really wonder if having the abortion would hurt me emotionally since I don't feel attachment to this other baby. I think the first abortion hurt me because I felt attachment to the baby. This time I don't. And I wonder if having an abortion will hurt me emotionally since the feelings for the baby are different. People will judge me, I know. But having a child from incest its chaos. I don't want my family to find out. And now I feel much more conscious of the problems this will bring to me and to the baby. I really don’t feel I can handle people finding out who the father is. I would like to start over. Do things right. Someday meet a man and have a relationship accepted by society. Or just live my life and get this man out of my life. I also have like a thousand other problems. No one to help me take care of the baby and I need to get a job. Plus I don’t expect help from anyone since I’m ashamed of how this child was conceived. My mother knows I’m pregnant but does not know who the father is. I can’t tell her. She will be hurt.Mom tells me that once I have the child in my arms my feelings will change. But she does not know this chills is a product of incest! I’m afraid that if the baby is born everybody will find out. I want the abortion but I feel guilty having a second abortion. I know the child is already fomed. It makes me feel guilty to kill it. But is this the right way to give life to a child!
I’m also afraid that I’m too far a long and will suffer physical damage. I know a couple of places that do first trimester abortion up to 14 weeks. I need to decide soon!!!
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