"Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women. Almost any decision is better than no decision at all." --Brian Tracy, Author and Speaker
Are you sometimes afraid to make decisions – worried about making the wrong decision? Worried about making a mistake?
Do you know that not deciding IS a decision? Not deciding is likely the biggest mistake of all, as it keeps you stuck. Once you decide SOMETHING, then at least you move forward.
Larry couldn’t decide whether or not to marry Sophia. They had been living together for three years and Sophia was ready to get married. Larry had lost his previous girlfriend, whom he was still grieving over, due to the same situation – not making a decision.
Larry was so afraid of making the wrong decision that he was stuck. In not deciding, he was passively deciding not to get married. When Sophia moved on due to his indecision, Larry was devastated – just as he had been in his previous relationship. This is when he called me, but it was too late with Sophia – she had moved on.
Larry’s indecisiveness stemmed from some false beliefs about mistakes and failure. He didn’t see mistakes or failures as learning opportunities, but as indications of his inadequacy. As long as Larry attached his worth and adequacy to success or to mistakes and failure, he would be unable to make a big decision, such as whether or not to get married.
Have you ever made it okay to fail? Have you made it okay to make mistakes - to fall on your face? If not, why not?
I’ve learned to make decisions very rapidly, because I know that, whatever the outcome, I will have learned from the experience. I’ve certainly had my share of big mistakes and failures. While I don’t like mistakes and failures, they don’t devastate me because I don’t attach them to my worth. I don’t tell myself that I am a failure because I fail at something. I don’t tell myself that I’m a bad person because I’ve made a big mistake. As I look back over the big mistakes I’ve made and failures I’ve experienced, I can see how each time my soul learned from the experience.
In my belief system, learning and evolving my soul in my ability to love myself and others is why I’m on the planet, and my mistakes and failures have supported this learning just as much as my successes have – maybe even more so. Successes are wonderful, but it’s through my mistakes and failures that I’ve had to come to grips with the deeper fears and false beliefs of my wounded self. In my experience, anything that helps me to become conscious of the false beliefs and unloving behavior of my wounded self is worth it.
So, I’ve learned to make decisions rapidly. I check in with my feelings and my higher Guidance, and I trust them. If I have to decide about something I don’t know anything about, I do my research, and then I trust my feelings and higher Guidance. I go with what feels best and right for me. If it doesn’t turn out the way I hoped, then I trust that the reason I was guided to this decision is because there are important lessons for me to learn. In my view, whatever I decide will be a learning experience for me, so I don’t hassle over my decisions.
Are there decisions in your current life that you are putting off making? I encourage you to let go of worrying about mistakes and failure and make a decision – and then learn from it!