Think Bill Murrary from Stripes:


> Twenty-eight years ago, Herman James, a Tennessee Mountain man, was
drafted
> by the Army.
>
> On his first day of boot camp, the Army issued him a toothbrush.
> That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked several of his teeth.
>
> On his second day, the Army issued him a comb.
> That afternoon, an Army barber sheared his head.
>
> On his third day, he was issued a jock strap.... The Army is still looking
> for him
>
>