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Hi, I am 34 years old female and I am divorcing. I know it may sounds weird that I look for help on such place bit I really didn't know what to do. Reason for my divorce is very specific. My husband is addicted on computer's games and he may spend whole day in front of the monitor. We don't even talk normally because of his occupancy with these games. If someone had similar problem please share your experience with me?

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Hi, unfortunately you didn't say much about character of your husband and how did he behave earlier. Sometimes computer games may represent escape from reality. I suggest you to talk to him if you think it is worth trying. Also you may try to go together and discus your problem with psychologist.
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Gaby,

I lost one of my friends for a while to a game called World of Warcraft which him and his ex girlfriend started to play when they got together. As thier relationship got worse I noticed he would just get up, smoke weed and just play for hours and hours to avoid reality. In the end, he had his own tiny place , full of take out containers and cigarette butts and that would be a day for him...He has a 5 year degree, which he didnt use because he stopped looking for a job.

I know its not a spouse.. But this is a friend I've known for over 10 years. We were neighbors, were always there for each other. After he met this girl and started with these games, I did not see him for literally... 3-4 years... Suddenly he hit rock bottom, couldnt afford to live with no job so he moved back in with his parents.. He has since stopped playing for the most part but he still plays on occasion.

The way he still talks about all of these people whom he met online and as if he and them had an actual real friendship still scares me to this day. He will talk to us as if his game friends were really here (in my home city) and he just saw them.

I now hang out with him a lot more and he is doing much better, he is upgrading a specific part of his education so that he can be more versatile in the workplace.

I know others in this same situation and although I dont have advice... I can tell you that its like anything else... if they want to quit they will, if not, you have to get on with your life. Trying to care only brings you down.
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My best friend who i knew since grade 2, his mom is divorcing his dad, because of HER computer game addiction. She is indeed addicted to WoW, he is shocked because he never did anything to make her want to leave. She is leaving him purely that she can't take to him about games.

Its scary, WoW literally destroys lives.

~colin~
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I'm considering leaving my husband. We have a three month old son. My husband plays WoW every chance he can. He never goes to bed with me. I feel single all the time. When he does spend time with me he acts like he is doing me a favor and he thinks and talk about his stupid game. It is an addiction. It is killing our marriage. It's sad because we had such a good relationship until he started playing so much. We bragged about how we were so lucky to marry our best friend. Before we married he played all the time. He stopped playing very often till our son was born, now he plays non stop.
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Gaby,
Gaming is ruining my marriage also. My husband used to be one of those who would do something when asked. Now he puts off whatever needs to be done and gives you an attitude because you asked him to leave his precious game. The beginning of the weekend I told him if he purchased more game-time he was to leave. Next day he told me he was going to buy the game-card anyway because he was so bored. (He had nothing to do but clean the house-oh the horror) He's told me several times he was getting bored of the game and was going to stop playing but it never happened. I don't think he will. He'd rather play online than play with his adorable 2 year old daughter. We snap at each other. We were never like that before.
My heart goes out to all who are going thru the same problem. It's a hard decision to make. I would hate to have my daughter lose living with her father but I'd hate to have her see us fighting over something so... I can't even think of a word to describe it. Non-Profane words anyway.
I think btamboli makes a good statement "if they want to quit they will, if not , you have to get on with your life." Trying to care has been bringing me down. I'm sticking to my "guns" and not allowing the gaming.
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Hi Everyone,

I don't know what to do? My husband has addiction to game, he plays (WOW) whenever he gets chance and makes it sound so horribly important like "hold on, I need to kill the boss" or "this is the last fight" sometimes he actually stops if I would insist but then I can see he looks like hell! I am an immigrant I have my parents and everybody in my country already I feel very lonely and my husbands constant attention to WOW is just making it worst. I feel like going back from where I came. Our relationship is falling apart. If I would mention his problem to his parents who lives here they would just advice me to adjust. I am already trying to forget his past which is also devastating, I think he is taking my forgiven nature for granted. He was a sex addict in past and he had addiction to porn.

I am very sensitive person, very emotional I do not know what to do except feeling sorry! for myself sometimes I get suicidal tendency but I want to live and save my marriage as in my culture women after divorce gets no dignity form the community. Should I try to adjust with his nature?
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I wish I had a solution for us ladies, but unfortunately I don't. My husband is addicted as well. He doesn't ever mind me going out and doing things which at first I thought it was him letting me have my independence. Then I realized if I am not home he can play his game. He will just stick my 2 year old son in front of the tv and then play his game. Just tonight I had been gone most of the night (I had a job interview and then an orientation for a puppy training class) and wanted to talk to him about my day and he told me he couldn't talk yet because someone he had wanted to talk to came on. Well what about me? I guess I am not someone he wants to talk to. This sucks. In the past year I have thought about leaving my husband so many times. Now I am even looking to the attention of other men. I am not cheating but I desperately look for men to just glance my direction so I don't feel like there is something undesireable about me.
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My husband is addicted to online gambling, I just found 2 credit card statements from 2 different companies, who knows how many more there are. These 2 equal $13,000. Our roof is leaking, but that is not a priority to him. The brother came to patch it up, thank god, and he's addicted to crack, I really don't know what to do either. I want to leave him, my son is 25 and lives with us, has a job and makes good money, saves it all because the job might be cut. Where do I start? I gotta find out where all the loans are that have both our names on them. I put all the credit cards in my name with a credit service. Here I am paying $300 a mo. to get out of debt so I can fix the house up and here he is making more debt. It is good to have someone to talk to. Thanks.
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    I am in the exact same boat as many of you! My husband wakes up, plays WOW until time for work, goes to work, comes home and plays WOW until bed time. If I complain enough maybe I'll get a date night once a month....maybe. I have an 8 month old and I work more hours than he does but I still pay the bills, clean house, do dinner, take care of baby's needs all while he plays his life away. To top it all off, he has some F_ckin female friend on there - an online relationship that is absolutely crossing the line - occasional telephone calls with her and ofcourse inappropriate pics. (He doesn't know I know this)

    Honestly, I don't know why I haven't left yet. I'm trying to gather the courage - it may be soon.

    So any updates on any of you ladies? Still hanging in there or moved on?
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    Me and my partner were addicted to WoW for a time.
    I had never really played games much before this, and after getting so stressed out playing this addictive game, I weaned myself off it (I play once in a while, but not for long now).

    My hubby played it for a while too, the reason I played originally was to spend time with him, because it was about the only way I could...
    He doesn't play WOW much anymore, but is constantly on any other game for hours and hours. We don't talk, have sex, sleep at the same time or hardly even peck each other on the cheek during the day. I constantly find myself snapping at him and ignoring most of what he has to say.

    I feel like it has destroyed me too, I am seriously thinking about separation/divorce - he won't change, and I'm sick of trying to adapt to him.

    We've only been married a year in March... :-(
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    Hi,
    My husband has played non stop Warcraft for 5 years. At first, I was o.k. with it; he had played games in the past but those were different and stopped so I wasn't too worried. After 3 years of playing, I told him I didn't mind if he played but I needed his help around the house and with our girls. Next, I told him I was feeling neglected and needed some attention. NEXT, I told him, don't worry about me or the house, just PLEASE focus on the girls. Last, I told him, if he didn't give me some attention, ANYTHING, I would find it somewhere else...and I did.

    He has caught me TWICE having affairs and even admits that his game playing is 50% to blame for my infidelity, yet, TO THIS DAY, he still plays his game.
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    I'm in the same boat as all the women here. My husband and I have been married just over a year. Before we married my husband played his computer games when he could (he's military, so a lot of his time was spent elsewhere) but he was very good about spending his time elsewhere getting things done. He told me he only played because there was nothing else to do. I believed him as he was living in a tiny dorm room on base with nothing but the computer (not even a TV). Now that we are married, we have a house and multiple pets. Some are my own, but many are meant to be his pets or for both of us. When he's home, all he does is play WoW or Starcraft. He'll get off work, come home, stay up till midnight or later, then expect to be back on base working at 7:30am. He ignores the house, the pets, and worse, me. I feel helpless and confused. I've had others talk to him but he doesn't want to listen. I'm so alone. I have given him multiple chances to change. Now if I talk to him he gets mad and yells at me and makes me feel like I'm the one with the problem. I don't want a divorce, but I don't know what to do either! It's definately a happily NEVER after story.
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    Honestly, I don't know why I haven't left yet. I'm trying to gather the courage - it may be soon.

    So any updates on any of you ladies? Still hanging in there or moved on?



    THuff43 I am in the same situation myself except for I did confront him. He will not give up his game Cybernations.net. I sent enough emails to the other woman that she quit. I also called her husband and he confronted her. I asked that he give up the game even went so far as to try and delete his nation. Still didn't work and he threatened divorce. I said the only way that I won't go file for divorce is for us to go to to marriage counseling. That appt is on Tuesday.....we shall see if he goes or what he will admit to.

    If progress isn't made......I am leaving. I didn't tell him that courts see gaming as bad bad bad when it comes to what custody they will get. In fact one of the comments he made to me my attorney said that if he says it in court will most likely get him taken off for a psych eval.

    My point is......STAND UP LADIES YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT AND THEY ARE IN THE ULTIMATE WRONG. The courts will not stand for it for when it comes to custody....get the kids away from the situation otherwise the kids will grow up to do the same.....and we the real women who are doing the right thing.....deserve to be treated better than this!!!
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    Nothing new going on in my life. I have tried talking to my husband, as well as having his family talk to him, but he won't listen. He gets angry and starts telling me that I'm acting like a 5 year old on a playground. I hate it and I know he has no right to say things like that to me.

    My next step will be to move myself into our guest room. It's rarely used for guests and I'm hoping it'll get his attention. With multiple pets at home I can't just leave without a major plan, but I will do so if need be. I have family who will take care of my animals as I know my husband will never take care of them if I left them at home. I know it's not a final solution, but maybe it'll work. If not, counselling will be the next step.
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