im 20 and i recently lost my virginity with a girl who is five years older. she lives far away so i dont get to see her that often. i find it very hard to get and maintain an erection and concentrating on her during sex is difficult. i do get an erection when kissing her but has gone soft by the time i put the condom on. i did used to smoke alot of weed but had stopped a few days before the last time i seen her and still had the problem although it had slightly improved. i also used to masturbate everyday but had stopped a few days before the last time i seen her. i have no problem getting an erection for masturbating but i do masturbate over 'alternative' porn which does not nessecerily reflect the apperance of my girlfriend. i do drink regularly and take other drugs occasionally. recently ive been having alot of mood swings aswell.
i would like to know if this is a physical or psychological problem. i know this does affect other people my age but what do i do about it? i recently split up with her and am to embarrased to see another girl.
thankyou for your help.
i would like to know if this is a physical or psychological problem. i know this does affect other people my age but what do i do about it? i recently split up with her and am to embarrased to see another girl.
thankyou for your help.
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1st, get rid of the drugs, you don't need them. About your problem. You said that you can keep an erection while watching porn right? Maybe the problem is both physical and psychological. What happens when you find your self attracted to someone? You get a little excited right. Maybe you weren't all that excited to have sex with the first girl who lived a while away from you. You may have liked her but did anything she did or said turn you all warm and hot inside? maybe you liked the idea of kissing her because you know that can lead to sex which is exciting, but by the time you actually get to do it, depending on how attracted you are to the person your erection goes away. Not enough excitement physicaly. You keep thinking about how you can't keep an erection with her but you can when you watch some guy with a big penis screwing this pretty blond chick with big titties, tight body, and tight shaved........and that excites you and you can then. you keep telling yourself that you can't keep an erection with a woman and it become psychological. You tell yourself that you can't because of what happened with this one chick, so you believe it. Have a little confidence in yourself. Get off the drugs, they mess with your mind. find yourself a nice pretty woman. take her out to eat, close and open doors for her. All this will get her fire burning for you. Then later when you feel how wet she is when you slide your fingers inbetween her legs, know that YOU are the reason she is so excited. Tease her a little bit and see how her body reacts to your touch and kiss. Then think off what you get to do to her and how bad she wants you rocking inside her. All these thoughts should help you. DONT tell yourself anything that might alter the mood. NO More i Can't, ONLY I CAN. Good luck
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