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Hello everyone. I'm 21 years old and two years ago I had my 1st sexual experience with this girl. I was always nervous when we were about to have sex and wasn't able to get an erection when we were about to perform the act.The first time we tried to have sex i didnt get an erection and she asked me if i was gay, with that my selfsteem went from roof to the ground. After the first time, she actually told me that we needed to have sex every Wednesday before she went to work and before her father get back from work. So every Wednesday from 3-5. By the time she said that all i could think about was that i needed to have an erection for her that day at that time, but guess what??? It never happened thinking about the date made me even more more nervous. Anyways, most of the time I spent it at her place every night she would give me oral sex and i did the same to her it was nice no erection problems what so ever during that time. Finally we broke up because she didnt understand that sex didnt worked that way, plus; her mother got in the middle of our conversation and i ended up arguing with her as well. A few weeks later i wrote her a letter apologyzing for the things  i said to her and her mother, i told her that she was a really nice girl and that i hoped she could forgive me one day. In reply i got a letter saying that i was a pathetic excuse for a man, and that i wasnt man enough (those words really got stock in my mind). I even used to go to the mall and asked her opinion about how i looked in a pair of cloth and when i asked her that i wanted to see how she looked in the cloth my opinion didnt mattered, and something that really pissed me off is that i feed her once and she told me "Dont do that again. Im not a dog", my response to this was , " You are wrong! That is supposed to be sexy not degrading!", anyways the thing is that Im in my 20's now, I'm good looking, and I'm afraid to get into another relationship and go thru the same problem of being uncapable of having an erection for my next girlfriend. Now even my parents think that I'm gay because i haven't had anymore girlfriends. I dont know what to do. It is countless the times i have had the thought of killing myself. Those anyone knows aboout any pills or something i could take at my age because I'm tired of my pathetic life and i want it to end. 

I want to thank you in advance for your replies.

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Hello TheImpossible21,

I just wanted to say that I am very sorry to have heard about these problems you have been having but it seems to me that that girl was selfish and inconsiderate of you, and you can't let that keep you down and from having other relationships. You must know that you will find someone who will be patient with you and understand you. Sex is a big deal and nerves do play a major role. There is nothing wrong with you. Just know that nothing is that bad to kill yourself. You just need to try and let go of the past and keep pushing forward. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Just try to remember nothing is that bad. Think about the people who are forced to die unwillingly everyday. It wouldn't be fair to them if you killed yourself over the fact you are nervous and you can't get an erection. And I understand it's hard being told you are gay but you know you are not and they have no right saying that. This girl you were with 2 years ago was probably nervous too, even though that doesn't make an excuse. Not everyone is perfect and the best thing you can do is to push back the past and find the perfect understanding girl for you!
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Thank you very much for your reply. I really hope to find that girl soon you know cuz I'm feeling very depressed. But I'm trying to distract my mind by working out and just living the day by day w/o thinking about the future which is also wrong u know. I'm just really confused. Thanks again for your reply made me think a lot.
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Hey. For starters, this has happened to my boyfriend before. On one hand I do understand how she felt; it hurts to be heated and feel like you can't turn your man on. At the same time, it must be so horrible for you as well. Don't fear, as each person is different, and you are older, so a new girl may be different. Lastly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. I am not saying that you are, but I am saying that I myself am a huge supporter of homosexuality. Whether you find yourself to be straight, gay, bi, trans, asexual, or anything else....you are you and that makes you perfect. As well as this, please know there is so much more to life. I was suicidal for a while, and it got to the point where my life almost ended more than once for attempts, and after being saved, I was hospitalized for months at a time. I highly recommend seeking a homeopathic doctor who works with naturals for your depression. The doctor may be able to give you neuro and cys repletes, as well as other things to help with the chemical levels, as well as even a pill to help you get erect. Who knows, but the only way to find out is to try. Best of luck, Sir.

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Hey! Don't get down on yourself, that girl sounds like a b***h and a waste of time. From what you stated, any girl would be lucky to have a boyfriend like you. Your sexual performance should not hinder your relationships, if a girl can not be respectful and understand you, she is not worth your time. I agree with what others have said here, maybe seek someone who can help you with your depression, and you sexual dilemma.

I hope everything works out for you! Don't let anyone else make you question your worth, if I were you I would tell that b***h where she can stick it. :p
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