Experiences with Holmium Laser Enucleation of the Prostate, HoLEP, Laser Surgery

Thanks Just Me. I don't really have any pain in the prostrate area. Just some discomfort if I sit on it. But I think I will try to wait until next Friday 16th. That will be 4 1/2 weeks. I am really anxious about it anyway because I don't know what to expect. But will be so releived if it goes well. I know it will be different than what I am used to. I had an MRI on my painful knees last week and I have torn Miniscus in both knees and need surgery on them. Dang! just when I was getting over one surgery. Getting old is not for wimps. Thanks for you advise.

Hi Steve, Thanks for your words of logic. I am going to wait until I get to 4 1/2 weeks to have an orgasm. Just Me did it at 5 weeks so I think it will be safe by then. The doc said go for it if I am not having any bleeding. Thanks for the tip about the colace. Now that you are home and back to your "normal" diet is the constipation gone?

Jwb43

YEP! I only needed on the cruise cause of the white flour but that was the issue on many cruises. None of this had to do with the prostate that I know of. And my IBS is under control. The (generic colace). I take 1 or 2 100 mg in moring (when I take it). Also getting some of my fible from Instant Oatmeal - easy to make.

Steve

jwb43

For me, the difference in the retro orgasm is very minimal.  If you were on flomax you probably  experienced RE  to some degree.

Actually, having the surgery was good for me sexually . My erections improved , and orgasm intensity seemed to improve.

You are right about getting old.  It is not for wimps.  I went through a bout with sciatic trouble which effected my hip socket as well. The lubricating fluid in my hip was not working any more.  I experienced stabbing pain about every 10 seconds. I was off work for 8 months. I could barely get into the car to go to the DR,  Fortunately, The great Dr and therapist I had, got me going again. A month after returning to work , I had to leave work and go imediately to the ER because I could NOT urinate. 

I am very grateful to the Drs. and nurses who worked on me to get me back to where I am today.  If you get good care be sure to thank them. Being a DR or nurse is not an easy job.   I thanked my pain Dr  when he figured out what my problem was , he told me I dont hear that from people very often. Its sad.

Well Steve and jwb at least we have our good looks to fall back on!

just me

 

 

Wow Just Me,

That sciatic nerve sure sounds like no fun! And then to have to get a urinary blockage right after. Things seem to come in groups. Sometimes I just get tired of all I am going through and think what's next. But I guess it could be worse. Thanks for the suggestion about the doctors and nurses. I will try to remember that.. I was never on Flomax. well I tried it but it caused me to have panic attacks so I quit taking it. Do I remember you said you are going to Ireland or somewhere to visit some grandkids? When are you planning that?

We will be traveling in a few weeks.  We are looking forward to seeing our family ,as  it has been quite so time .

The Sciatic makes it very painful to sit or stand for long periods of time. Even travel in our car is limited to about 100 miles before in need to get out for a stretch. Walking is helpful but not on uneven ground. Add the trouble of traveling and  self cathing  in less than clean restrooms , made traveling out of the question  for my wife and me.

The surgery has completely removed one of the problems.  Now to deal with the long flight to Ireland.  I will be taking walks on the plane for sure.

After the long plane trip, we will be traveling by train for 3 1/2  hrs  to reach our destination.  

How are you getting along?  Has the quality of your stream improved ? 

Are you using the pads or the briefs for your incontinence? I found the brief seemed to bunch up between the legs and made it feel like sitting on a rope.

 

Hi JM,
I am glad you brought that point about sitting up. I have wanted to ask anyone on here mainly you and Steve. How long did it take before you could sit comfortably on your prostrate area. I still find it is uncomfortable and I have to sit with my weight to one side or the other. This causes some pain in my hips because of sitting like that. I have only had trouble with incontinence if I have a full bladder and bend over or lift something or sneeze. If I don't have a full bladder it is not a problem. I guess I am blessed in that way. I find that the Walgreen pads don't stick to my underwear as well so I tried the depends brand and they seem to work better.

JWB. I NEVER had a problem sitting. The LONLY time I was uncomforetable was when the catheter wasstill in (in my case - thanks to Christmas) it was 5 days!. As for the Pads I used the CVS ones (called Guards) and and they stayed fine. But whatever works for you. I think I usedthen 4-5 weeks maybe 6. Was a a folk festival this weekend and for fiirst time in 13 years there I did not need to run to the pota-john.

Steve

Thanks Steve, It is so interesting how different we all are when it comes to healing. Glad you are doing so well. Enjoy it now and hope whatever the next health issue is a long way off. I can't wait to get back to a fairly normal life with no pain. My joints are causing me a lot of pain now due to torn micnisous and other old age related stuff. Wish I could go back 20 years. Take care, James

Steve & Just Me, I really need your help. Tonight I had my first dry orgasm. I am devastated. I don’t care that it did not feel very good. I can live with that But, I used to get such a relaxed and calm feeling after a climax before. It was like taking a tranquilizer. But after this climax I did not have that feeling. If anything I was more tense. Please tell me it gets better.

That calm feeling after when you could just lie there are talk with your wife were some of the most wonderful times in my life. And that feeling lasted for a few days. If I will never have that feeling again I consider this surgery one of the worse decisions I have ever made. I would not recommend it to anyone. I should have tried the Prostatic urolift or gone to another country and get the Gat/Goren procedure. Did either of you notice this and does it get better?

Hi James. I'll have to let JustMe chime in here. As I may (or, possiobly, not) mentioned on an earlier post, sex has not been an active part of my life for about 5 years.It was for two reasons. The Flomax and Advodat took any erections and Avodart away and - after menopause - my wife became less interested in sex. Yes, sex is an iomportant part of one's life but not - at least for me - the most important one. The lack of sleep from getting up 5-6 times a night was, honestly, most important. Since the operation I have been able to have erections but no emissions because I chose not to do it myself and am still trying to get my wife "interested". Some of you guys have wives who are moree into sex than mine. So, in summary I can't reply to your issue. Sorry. I guess when you lose something you wonder if the surgery is right. In my case I'm missing the frequent urges that were really disrupting my life. As we've (the other guys) have said before, your surgery is still new.. so don'yt judge it yet. Honestly it'll be 6 months from the date of surgery before you can consider it over. We're all pulling for you!

jwb43

    Thank you for posting you results and for being honest about the outcome.

As you know I was concerned about side effects post surgery. I was anticipating the possibility of ED and the end of our sex life.

Fortunately that is not the case.

One of the reasons I chose to take matters into my own hand and make it a solo orgasm , was I considered it a medical issue. I did the same when I had my biopsy. I did not want to concern my wife  with the the blood  and pain I might experience.  I must admit my first orgasm was not the greatest, but not the worst either, but the healing was not done yet.  I want to reassure you , for me my orgasm is just as good as before except it is dry.  There have been times I have ejaculated  semen and there is no diference in sensation . If you read some of my earlier post you will see I had an issue with delayed ejaculation. It took a lot of stimulation for me to finally climax. This is where my loving wife took care of me again, without judging me .  In fact, she loved me through this and made our relationship even stronger.

I am quite sure there was some anxiety concerning  your first orgasm as far as sensation or pain, and that detraccted from your experience. Please dont think this is how it will be from now on.  It will take some time. 

I dont know your thoughts on self stimulation, but I did continue for some time in order to take pressure off my wife and it helped me with the confidence In being able to reach a quality climax.  That is a matter you have to sort out in your own mind.

 As time marches on we are confronted with changes in our lives we have no controll over. I got severe BPH , my wife is going through menopause,with the hot flashes and lack of concentration. Fortunately she still has a healthy sex drive. These are changes I would have preferred not to have happened. But they did , and, we have to deal with it. My wife has been a rock as far as organization in our family.  She has been a  rock for me through my sciatic trouble and my prostate issue. My love for her is stronger toward her than the day I married her.

AS with me, changes came into your life. You experienced BPH and couldnt tolerate flomax as it gave you panic attacks. It was only going to get worse ,so it was reccomended that you have this surgery. As Steve mentioned, the side effects of some of these meds can be devestating to the sex life of some men.  I have read it is not reversible in some men. You can be glad you did not experience these side effects. You also did not have to endure the agony of retention and the restrictions it puts on you life.  Dont judge this surgery by the few weeks you have behind you. You are fortunate to be able to count your blessings without having to endure some of the hardships. Take it from Steve and me be glad you did not go there.

Just this morning my wife  voicing her concern about the 3 weddings, 1 out of state, our trip to see our son , and a day trip with our 2 oldest grandchildren.  She felt like she was going crazy with all the details . I let her talk as I listened . After she was done, I went over and held her and gave her a kiss and assured her we would get through it . That feeling you described was there for me toward my wife and no sex was involved.  A little bit ago she came to me with a pair broken shoes she wanted to wear to a wedding we are attending this evening. I showed my love to her by starting to fix then right away. She is as happy as can be. Still no sex.  But my love for her is there.

Our biggest sex organ is our brain!  When we get it involved with other matters such as surgery and bring it into the bedroom, it can muddy the waters.   Talk it over with your wife and express your concerns outside of the bedroom. It sounds as if she is a good woman. Be good to yourself as well, and dont put unrealistic expectations on yourself or each other.

It does get better ,

In my prayers

just me

 

 

 

   

Hi jwb43

 I posted to you yesterday but I dont find it here.

just me

 

Hi jwb43

 I have tried to post to you but for some reason it wont take.

I m sorry to hear about your disappointing results after your first post surgery orgasm.

Please give it time. AS you are still healing.

My first orgasm was not the best ,but not the worst.

AS I stated ,my first orgasm was not through intercourse.  I considered it to be a medical issue , and did not wish to involve my wife with the possibility of blood and pain.  She was in the room for all my exams and catheter insertions at my request. Her support in that area was greatly appreciated.  I did not want her to feel like she was hurting me ,and I did not want to put un realistic expectations on her concerning my orgasm .  That is why I chose to go about it the way I did . I took the same approach after my biopsy.

I have had both a dry and a wet ejaculation post holep and find very little difference  between the two as time progressed.  I hope this encourages you. It did get better for me , Much better. It did take time.

The most important sex organ we have is our brain. When we bring other issues into our bedroom such as surgery , We can take our eyes off of our goal and can easily miss our mark. In the past you were able to focus on just your wife and your relationship ,and all went well.  In all honesty, you were probably concerned about many things as you were experiencing your first post holep orgasm ,pain ,blood , sensation, loss of sensation , the list can go on.  Concertrate on the good woman you have been blessed with and be thankful to her and for her. Keep you eye on your BRIDE!!

For me , I found it helpful to take matters into my own hand just to learn about what to expect. I did experience a delayed ejaculation for a period of time. This involves the need for an unusual amount of stimulation to reach a climax. It did have me concerned as I found it difficult to climax with intercourse alone.  My wife stepped up to the plate and took matters into her hands and finished the job. She did not put pressure on me to perform . I satisfied her and we held each other when we were done. We turned a less than perfect situation into a very loving moment. 

Things are getting back to normal and were are better for having to go through this. we are stronger , and more understanding . I hope the same for you. 

Dont look back and wish you had not done the surgery and keep yourself in that mind set.  You were having trouble with BPH ,you could not tolerate the flomax and things were not going to get better . I can testify to that. Avadart can be very devestating to a mans sex life .  In some cases they are irreverible . The surgery was your best option. Who knows what will happen with the new health care laws coming up.  It is best to have this behind you.

just me

 

 

jwb43

Im trying to respond

just me