Feeling depressed after stopping the birth control pills?

Hi everybody,
Where is Martha, she used to help us alot and i hope she's better now.
Hope everybody feeling well and happy :)

Hi Flow,
So good to hear from you but I'm so sad that you are still not feeling well and have had multiple days in a row of this. I have also been experiencing a lot of dizziness and weakness lately, yesterday and Wednesday were pretty good days though overall, I was at least able to leave the house thank goodness so am grateful for that, and I think I got my period finally (it was about 4 days late this month) but I had pretty bad cramps yesterday and last night night and then woke up with it this morning. I know how bad the intrusive thoughts can be...last weekend and earlier this week I had a lot of them concerning my health and I kept worrying I had something really wrong with me...some disease or very bad mental condition that can't be cured. This gave me such bad anxiety that I had to drink multiple cups of herbal tea and lay in the dark for hours. Every loud noise and bright light scared me. It got really really bad. Today has been okay, I woke up with a bit of anxiety and have been very tired and and muscles feeling weak today...might be because of my period? The symptoms come and ago, as always.

Yes, I had my first period after birth control at the end of April and my second one just came today. Not to get into graphic detail, but my periods are definitely very light also...not heavy but they last 3-4 days and I have some cramping so I'm pretty positive it is my period. I think I mentioned before, but my symptoms of anxiety, depression, dizziness, nausea, weird feelings and sensations in my head and body, and just overall not feeling well get way worse on the days leading up to my period and are kind of bad during it.

I absolutely agree with you that the post birth control syndrome is overlooked by so many practitioners. I have had a lot of them tell me there is no way that stopping the birth control can possibly cause symptoms that last so long. Even the current doctor I'm working with, who is a specialist in womens hormonal issues wants to run additional blood work on me because she doesn't believe that it is just hormonal imbalance causing these issues. I got the results of the blood work I did last week back, and I tested negative for Lyme disease but my doctor says that test is not very reliable and now wants me to do another one as well as test for some autoimmune disorders (such as lupus). So next week I need to go get more blood work done. I am fine with it, because maybe it will give me an answer, or at least make me feel better knowing if the tests come back negative for certain things. How did your appointments with the endocrinologist and cardiologist go? What did they have to say about the tests you took? I hope you got some answers!

I'm scared and worried also...I just have to keep reminding myself, one day at a time...one moment at a time. This too shall pass, whatever it is. We have made it this far and we will make it the rest of the way through - things may get tough, but we just have to keep going. I hope you feel better and find some relief of your symptoms!

Take care,
Anna

I was actually wondering the same thing...I haven't seen Martha post on here in a few weeks, I'm hoping that means she is feeling much better these days. She was wonderful to talk to and definitely helped me a lot.

Hi Anna! It's good to know that you were able to get through this week despite the dizziness and weakness. Hooray for the 2nd period as well! At least you know that your body is eventually coping on its own after being pill free. I could recall my frist period to be super scanty (sorry for TMI), like it went on for a few drops then stopped, and I could hardly tell if it's really a period but it happened around 27-28 days after the last day of my withdrawal bleed post pill (so I hope it was!).

I couldn't really say that the past week was OK, but compared to the first month, I would say I feel better, but not A-OK, just because I could now bring myself to work, finish some tasks and attend meetings in the office compared to the previous month where I had to take a 2 week leave from the office because I felt TERRIBLE.

This week, there were occasional blows of dizziness and blurry vision but it comes and goes. If there was something constant this was the upper back pain (have you experienced this? Not sure if this is related to the withdrawal but maybe from work). Now I feel a weird pressure in my right eye. You see, It freaks me out having all these weird sensations- or maybe because the hormonal imbalance made us more VERY AWARE of what's happening with our bodies, or is it just paranoia?

You mentioned about the intrusive thoughts -- this week I kept on convincing myself I have cancer. LOL. It's scary but I try to fight it out as much as I can. We just need to wait it out Anna. And if the doctors find anything with us - we have no other choice but to hang on and manage it til everything straightens out.

Anyways - CONGRATULATIONS on the test results. :) However, you mentioned autoimmune disorders like lupus? Why so? Just curious how he/she related it to your symptoms. My appointment with my cardio and endo takes place today. Will keep you posted regarding their advice. I mentioned previously that I have elevated BP (Around 130/80), and it may be because of my anxiety, but whatever the findings may be, I psyched myself to accept it and adhere to the treatment recommendations.

Anna - apologies for the lengthy post haha. It feels comforting to vent out all these things to a person who at least understands even if from the other side of the world. :)

Take care! Looking forward to hear from you!

XOXO FLOW

Hey girls! ask I’ve been on this thread for a little over a year now and I definitely have had my ups and downs. Sometimes I feel better and other times I feel like I’m right back to where I started but I guess that’s the healing process. My biggest problem has been ROCD and I can truly say it has changed me. When I look back a year ago I feel like I’m a completely different person and I think of things differently. I love my boyfriend so much and that’s why I’m still with him even though I’ve been dealing with ROCD thoughts for over a year! It’s so sad to feel so weird towards someone who you love so much and it’s hard to not know why you feel this way. I always wonder why I’ve been feeling like this for so long and if I’ll ever feel better. I think the trauma of this experience is something that also makes it hard to shake the negative thoughts. I just always wonder if we will last, if I love him, if I want to see him, if I find him attractive and so much more. I always tear up thinking about the days where I was just happy with him. I also wonder if birth control really did this to me. I was on the pill for only two months and I actually developed ROCD while on the pill! I remember asking my friend if it was weird that I didn’t want to be with my boyfriend one day while on the pill. And then I remember being in Mexico and thinking to myself, “do I miss him?”. It’s been a long sad and depressing year and I just really want all of this to end. He’s so amazing and I know I love him but I don’t know how much longer I can deal with these thoughts of not loving him! I have my period right now so that could be a reason I’m really low but I just wish I never started the pill. Do any of you ever worry about getting pregnant now? I hope I recover one day but the thought of getting pregnant and going through that hormonal imbalance again scares me!

Hey girls! I am now 10 months off and I noticed for the past month or 2, i have been spotting after I ovulated! And it lasts a few days and during those days I feel a lot more anxious and I can feel my OCD thoughts coming back again even though theyve calmed down a bit.
Any of you spot after ovulation?
Everyone stay strong! xoxo

Hey, I am the girl who just posted and just saw your message. I feel exactly like you. I am 10 months off and I am also scared as to why my mind is asking all those questions... I started feeling better about 2 months ago and right now I am kinda anxious and the thoughts have an easy way in but now I know that this is the pill. Don't worry. The fact that you are asking these questions is because you love him. If you didn't you would be completely indifferent. Just blame it all on the pill, let it go. I've learned to just let it go and go on with my day. And if I ask myself do I miss him and answer no, SO WHAT. It doesnt mean I don't love him. Im on a trip right now and dont even feel like facetiming him but it doesnt mean were not meant to be and dont love eachother. Also, I think that if we get pregnant, the natural process of hormone fluctuation will not make this imbalance so painfull. The pill is so full of chemicals and is so unnatural. Also, worse case scenario, if it happens, we know that we have been through it once and can do it again... We are stronger than we think. Stay strong... xoxox

omg thank you so much for this! It’s such a sad feeling but I’m hoping it’s only to make me stronger! It’s just very confusing when you feel like you don’t love your partner, along with being depressed and anxious! I can relate to you a lot since your one of the girls who have been dealing with this for over 6 months. It’s hard to feel like this but I think we just have to trust the process of healing. I just feel so hopeless and unhappy sometimes!

By the way Anna, Got my labs and done with my Endo and Cardio check- up. My 24 hour blood pressure monitoring results came out normal! I was just advised to come back after 3 months for routine check up.

Also, according to the endo - It may really take awhile for your hormones to normalize thus the different withrawal symptoms since our bodies are adjusting.

No other major symptom felt today except for an inflamed eyelid/ stye due to excessive oil production of my skin! I’m starting to break out!!!

XOXO FLOW

Hi Flow!

That's great about all of your labs and tests coming back clear! Now you can rest assured that you are healthy and its just the hormones that will take some time to adjust. I hope you continue to feel good and don't experience any more symptoms!

I have been having really bad anxiety over the past few days again, I really think it has to do with having to wait on the results of all of my blood work and just anticipating the worst. I just want everything to come back already so I have an answer and can move on with my life. I feel like I'm stuck waiting in this limbo...just waiting on my doctor to tell me the news. Anyway, I have my last round of blood work later today and then within a week I should hear back from my doctor. To answer your question from your post before, my doctor wanted to test for autoimmune disorders like lupus mainly to rule everything out.

I will keep you posted on how I'm feeling and the rest of my test results. Let me know how you're doing too! I think a lot of the anxiety really has to do with not knowing what is wrong and just waiting to find out, so I hope that now that you have some answers from your doctors your don't experience it anymore and feel confident in knowing you are healthy and now its just a matter of time for your hormones to get back to normal. I know its easier said then done, but I have a feeling you're going to be just fine :)

Take care of yourself Flow - thank you so much for being here to talk to, its been one of the few things I have found comfort in during this hard time.

Anna

My period just ended so I’m expecting to feel crummy for a few days. Don’t really want to be with my boyfriend today and have a feeling of being helpless like I don’t know what I want to do with myself. I feel like that a lot these days and it’s pretty draining.

Hey, im still spotting and expect a period soon so Im in the same mood as you... I also feel like I don't know what to do with myself, my life, my future and it is very annoying because I love being excited for the future. When I feel like this, I remind myself that it is just a dull feeling. And since it has been 10 months and I know that my feelings for him have come back many times, I can say with certitude that this episode will pass. It is just a setback that is part of recovery. I try to be grateful for the 2 full weeks where I was able to enjoy myself. Its just a question of perception and our minds decide which way to see things. Sending courage and strenght to all of you girls.

I often say that it’s really hard for me to look forward to things nowadays. I hate not having anything to look forward to because I start to feel bored and then I question if my relationship is boring. It often helps to keep busy so I try to be with friends and family as often as possible. My feelings have come back too at times but I still don’t feel like they are the way they used to be and honestly I forgot how I used to feel. I feel like this is a new me and a new relationship. I’m learning to fall in love with him again but I don’t know if I will ever feel the way I used to.

Hi Anna! Thank you for the constant reassurance that everything is okay. Really helps a lot. Thing is - despite all these info/results/ consultations that things are normal, the feelings of doubt and that something is wrong still lingers. Whenever I feel some symptoms - even if you’re aware that it’s the withrawal, I still feel scared, fear that things will never go back normal.

Anyways, yesterday and today were fine. It’s a few days leading to what should be my period and it’s consistent with what i felt from the previous cycle so I assume the symptoms we are feeling are related to where we are in our cycles. I just pray that things will be better every cycle.

I also hope that my period will improve this month. it will be 2 months off pill and I could say things will get better. I hope you fo feel better as well.

With regards to your anxiety - try to distract yourself from any negative thoughts related to your labs. Am sure it will come out just fine, and if ever there are findings, at least youll find out the rootcause and youll be able to correct it early. Then again you’ll be fine!

I also went through that phase and i observe that while we become more anxious, the symptoms go along with it. Try to exercise, read a book instead of googling diseases in WebMD (Im guilty of this and it doesnt help).

At this point, there are times where I feel like I am stuck in a limbo like you, but think of yourself now compared to how you were a few months back - it does get better right? There is hope.

I realize now is the time to really reflect and understand that as adults we should really take steps in taking care of ourselves because we only have one life. We should concentrate on making ourselves healthier. Coming off the pill is just one big move and for sure our bodies are thanking us for it.

How are you by the way? Please take care
- FLOW

Hi, i wanted to say that i’m feeling exactly like you for past 6 and half months but for me the cause wasn’t the pill, the cause was vitex agnus castus, i started to consume it for 2 months and the end of second month of consuming i started panic attacks and all the other symptoms started exactly like you. The 2 last cycles i had spotting during the time of ovulation so i went to Radiologist and the sonography(Ultrasound) showed an ovarian cyst in my left ovary but it wasn’t that big to be concerned about it so much, Doctor told me i should come back 2month later for another sonography and hopefully it gets smaller and diminish on its own.
By the way i started taking vitex for my hormonal acne because i thought i had estrogen dominance based on what i read on the internet but guess vitex was not for me.