Feeling depressed after stopping the birth control pills?

Don't freak out yet. While it's true that we're biologically drawn to men with dissimilar MHC genes, that doesn't mean scent is the only factor in our choice of mate. Plus, everyone is different, and so is every situation. If we considered every study and warning label to be an absolute truth for us, then we wouldn't all be on this forum talking about the negative side effects that most doctors claim don't exist :)

Oh also, I have to ask. Have you been on birth control since youve been with your fiance? And also, did that spark come back?

jen wrote:

So I've been on ortho tri-cyclen for about a month, everything was fine untill i started my second cycle. slowly but surely, i began to sink into a very morbid state mind of, i began thinking about death alot,and sank into anxiety for those i loved,and i became very irritable. I was snaping at my hunny often,and became very depressed in sudden bursts. I would get very angry at little things i would usually dismiss,and my libido has gone down the drain..
What REALLY freaked me out was that i started questioning my wonderful relationship, feeling trapped,and boubting our compatability even though before i was so sure i would marry this man one day. When i think about it with a logical mind, it doesnt add up why i would feel this way, so im waiting out the BC and see how i feel later. i am confident my feelings of deep affection will return,but untill then, my hunny holds me at night while i cry my eyes out.
I am still curently in this limbo state,i miss my high sex drive,and my deep passion for my love. Im going back to the nuva ring soon, hopefully before valentine's ;D
btw, nuva ring was great for me, it has minimal hormones,and theyre directed at the target spot,lol
its only annoying to have to pull it in and out, also, it slides down ocasioally. hmm....maybe i'll try the shot next then

This is exactly how i feel about my love. I know i love him and i shouldnt be doubting anything.. there is no reason at all to! But alas, I am still finding myself unexcited to be with him. Did things get better for you?

Amber-- I wasn't on birth control when I met my fiancé, and was with him for nearly a year before going on birth control. The only reason I went on it was because I wanted to get it settled in my system before our marriage in August. I was only on it for 8 days, and quit because I was crying all the time and doubting everything about our relationship.

Coming off the pill was harder than being on it in my case. I think the stress of the upcoming wedding also made everything worse for me emotionally. However, I'm now nearing 3 cycles off the pill and feel nearly back to normal. Yes, my spark came back, and in many ways is stronger. Because we shared this experience together, I learned to trust him even more with my true feelings, even if I felt guilty for them. I would tell him every time I felt indifferent and the doubts I had, and he would patiently remind me that it was the hormones talking. Even after I suspected that it wasn't a hormonal issue, he continued to say it was. He was completely right. Looking back, I understand why it was so hard for me to be patient with myself, but I'm so thankful that I was.

P.S. While the majority of the medical community still says very little about the emotional effects of hormonal contraception, they do seem in agreement that it can lower your sex drive.

Ok! Thank you so much. You have given me so much hope! It still worries me that I met my boyfriend while on birth control... and am still on it. But hopefully that doesnt mean anything.

Wow... What a strange turn of events. As my previous posts have stated, last wednesday (when i started my inactive pills) i suddenly became depressed and was feeling empty and not feeling love (especially that which i have for my boyfriend whom I want to spend my life with) This is what was upsetting me the most. And tonight, almost as if a shroud was pulled from me, all of the love that i have for him came rushing back into body. I was on skype with him and I dont know if he said just the right thing (which he does do frequently) or what... but it was just like something clicked. I started crying because i felt normal. I'm on the second day of my first week of OTC... So I'm sure that had something to do with it. Regardless, I have an appointment with my doctor to discuss this random week of depression and talk about other birth control options and MAYBE and anti depressant (depression runs in my family... So i wouldn't be surprised if i have it and the BC pushed it into light) Anyways, I know my situation is slightly different from most people on this thread because I havent stopped the pill, but i imagine that its something that i may be going through in the near future. I also dont know if im out of the red this cycle or not... Anyways, I will keep you lovely ladies updated! 

Hi Girls,



I wanted to write to you two jen and amber. My name is jen too...and everything you two are experiencing towards your love is all side effects to coming off the pill, like you need to look at it this way how can you go from being so in love to feel nothing i have friends that were in relationships and fell out of love but falling out of love isnt a thing that happens istantly it happens gradually. These feelings DO NOT just dissappear.



And look at it like this aswell if you did not love this person you would not be so upset about it, instead of listening to your head listen to your heart. This is what happened to me i was listening to my head and it took over everything ......and one day my boyfriend sat down and said to me " Jen don't listen to your head right now what does your heart say" and the answer is said was " i love you " and i do.



Im seeing a therapist and she shared this with me yesterday and i would like to share it with you all:



You need to repeat to yourself or write down These bad feeling and negative thoughts are NOT real. Because feeling andnegative thoughts that keep changing are not real. There was this Guru she knows and he was asked a question and the question was "What is real" he answered " That is real never changes" Love is truth and the truth is eternal.



So girls i don't know if this will help but all of what we are feeling is normal and ok and we will get through this and when negative thoughts come into your head about your love just repeat what i typed.



Hang in there girls hope this help let me know.



Jen xxxx :)

JammyDodgers1411 wrote:

ambertinks wrote:

jen wrote:

So I've been on ortho tri-cyclen for about a month, everything was fine untill i started my second cycle. slowly but surely, i began to sink into a very morbid state mind of, i began thinking about death alot,and sank into anxiety for those i loved,and i became very irritable. I was snaping at my hunny often,and became very depressed in sudden bursts. I would get very angry at little things i would usually dismiss,and my libido has gone down the drain..
What REALLY freaked me out was that i started questioning my wonderful relationship, feeling trapped,and boubting our compatability even though before i was so sure i would marry this man one day. When i think about it with a logical mind, it doesnt add up why i would feel this way, so im waiting out the BC and see how i feel later. i am confident my feelings of deep affection will return,but untill then, my hunny holds me at night while i cry my eyes out.
I am still curently in this limbo state,i miss my high sex drive,and my deep passion for my love. Im going back to the nuva ring soon, hopefully before valentine's ;D
btw, nuva ring was great for me, it has minimal hormones,and theyre directed at the target spot,lol
its only annoying to have to pull it in and out, also, it slides down ocasioally. hmm....maybe i'll try the shot next then

This is exactly how i feel about my love. I know i love him and i shouldnt be doubting anything.. there is no reason at all to! But alas, I am still finding myself unexcited to be with him. Did things get better for you?

Hi Girls,

I wanted to write to you two jen and amber. My name is jen too...and everything you two are experiencing towards your love is all side effects to coming off the pill, like you need to look at it this way how can you go from being so in love to feel nothing i have friends that were in relationships and fell out of love but falling out of love isnt a thing that happens istantly it happens gradually. These feelings DO NOT just dissappear.

And look at it like this aswell if you did not love this person you would not be so upset about it, instead of listening to your head listen to your heart. This is what happened to me i was listening to my head and it took over everything ......and one day my boyfriend sat down and said to me " Jen don't listen to your head right now what does your heart say" and the answer is said was " i love you " and i do.

Im seeing a therapist and she shared this with me yesterday and i would like to share it with you all:

You need to repeat to yourself or write down These bad feeling and negative thoughts are NOT real. Because feeling andnegative thoughts that keep changing are not real. There was this Guru she knows and he was asked a question and the question was "What is real" he answered " That is real never changes" Love is truth and the truth is eternal.

So girls i don't know if this will help but all of what we are feeling is normal and ok and we will get through this and when negative thoughts come into your head about your love just repeat what i typed.

Hang in there girls hope this help let me know.

Jen xxxx :)

Thank you so much for this. Thats what i keep trying tell myself... but its so hard to not believe what your head is saying.

I had yet another awful day. I'm sobbing as i type this because I'm so frustrated for having a good day and then having a bad one. I'm not coming off of the pill, but i think its pushed me to the edge. I have an appt in abt a week... so hopefully i can figure something out.

Hey girls, I've been without power nearly all day, so I wasn't able to respond till now. In case you haven't checked out every message on this forum, I'll repeat a few tips that really helped me.

1. Write yourself a "happy letter". On a really good day, just write a letter to your "bad day" self. Then, on your bad days, you can read the letter and it will be a comfort to you.
2. Amber is right. If you weren't in love with your boyfriend, you wouldn't feel so bad about your current doubts and negative thoughts. Don't allow yourself the time to think on those bad days. Stay as busy as possible.
3. Keep a mood diary. It sucks sometimes to see all those bad days in a row, but you will also be able to see the gradual improvement with each cycle, which is a glimmer of hope.

Good luck everyone, and let us know how your appointment goes next week Amber.

Well girls, I must have jinxed myself, because the last few days have been a little off. Of course, this is largely due to the fact that I just started my period. I must admit that I did have to read my happy letter today, and it's been a REALLY long time since I've had to do that. Thankfully, it did the trick, which shows me that it's becoming much easier to pull out of my slump than it used to be. I also noticed that my slumps in mood have only been in the evening, never in the morning or afternoon.

Also, I'm just a little worried that I might have a bad day as it gets closer to wedding time (9 days till). Though, when I imagine saying my vows and looking at my fiancé, I feel calm. I suppose that's a very good sign :)

How is everyone else doing?

JenniferE-



I, too, was worried that I would have a "bad" day as my wedding approached...or worse... even ON my wedding day (was married this past May)...however, the week leading up to (and the day itself) was such a whirlwind that I had ZERO time to worry. Just remember to take it easy, enjoy, and take in everything that happens regarding that special day. Congratulations...and remember you have a support system here.



I also wanted to thank you for the "writing yourself a letter" tip...great idea:)



Heather

Hey Jennifer!

Sorry you had a bad day! But I'm glad to hear it was a lot easier to pull yourself out of your slump! Ive been off the pill for 3.5 weeks now and I was good for a good 2 weeks but this week was really rough =/ last Friday night as I drifted off to sleep I suddenly woke up breathing in through my nose really fast and hard. It was the weirdest thing and of course it caused a major anxiety attack, and that anxiety has lasted thru today (although its getting better day by day). I went and saw my gyno on Tuesday but unfortunately he didn't make me feel much better. He was skeptical that all this is due to the pill and basically had absolutely no advice for me when I told him I didn't want to try a different brand of BCP or take anti-anxiety/depression meds. I was worried the breathing thing could be sleep apnea but I read it can also happen with anxiety. And he said he didn't think it was sleep apnea either so that part did calm my nerves. I have a feeling I'm PMSing because I should start my period in a few days and that might be why my hormones are going a little crazier... never thought I'd be excited to get my period!

Since he was no help I decided to Google more about how to deal with crazy hormones and one girl said she had the same symptoms and its a sign of estrogen dominance. I guess the pill blocks your natural progesterone and uses its own synthetic form, so your body has to re-learn how to produce and regulate all the hormones again. She tried using a very small amount of all-natural progesterone cream and said it worked wonders so I'm going to ask my "natural" doctor about it tomorrow. I'm hoping it will be the answer to our prayers! I'll keep you girls updated on what I find out.

I wanted to ask you girls also what the symptoms of your anxiety are besides worrying about your relationships. Mine are: trouble breathing, racing crazy thoughts like "am I going crazy?," and sometimes I get the jitters like I've had too much coffee. Just wanted to see if anyone else experiences things like that!

Hang in there!! I have faith we'll all reminisce on this time in the future and be thankful we quit that crazy pill! Just sucks for the time being!!

I have been reading these posts on and off for a couple of months now, ever since I stopped the pill.  I have been on a rollercoaster and to hell and back.  I was on the pill for well over 20 years, I'm 36 now, and was put on a mini-pill when I was about 14 I think to treat acne.  And then a proper pill a couple of years later.  I've been on a few different pills over the years.  The only real break I have had is when I had my daughter nearly 8 years ago and I fell pregnant within the first month off the pill.

I feel like I'm going totally nuts.  I have been getting severely depressed.  Like today.  I didn't go to work (and I work for myself - so no such thing as a sickie.  No work, no pay) and finding it hard to get motivated.  I started my period last night, after only mild pains yesterday, but the cramps etc have been worse today.  Its all so outta wack.

My skin has got worse, but I can live with that.  Its the emotional and mental stuff I can't deal with.  I've been having negative thoughts about my boyfriend, who I love dearly and who has been really supportive during all this.  I keep feeling like I can't cope and have been wishing I could just die.

I know it will pass.  Its just hell waiting for it to pass.

Jules - reading your post is very familiar to me...almost as if I had written it. You are not alone. This week for me was terrible...in the bed all day Sunday and again on Monday (I too called into work). Yesterday was better and today I woke up laughing. Hang in there...we are all with you!