Hey Girls!
I need you guys today! I'm having a bad day :(
This weekend was not the best. On Sunday I was having those negative relationship thoughts again and the littlest thing my fiance would do would set me off into a crying fit. Literally I got upset because I gave my yorkie a haircut and a bath and when I showed him he was like "cool" instead of making a big deal over it like I apparently wanted. I feel so bad for him sometimes! Then I was feeling better while in bed watching TV last night and all of a sudden I had like a heart palpitation for like literally 1-2 seconds. It just beat really hard and I felt this rush. I was perfectly fine, but because I couldn't stop thinking about it I had a small anxiety attack.
Today I, of course, am thinking about it more. I read up on them and I know they can be caused by stress and anxiety and I probably have nothing to worry about unless it happens again and again. I'm having trouble breathing too when I really focus on my negative thoughts. I know it's nothing serious because it goes away when I am distracted. I felt great sleeping last night, and when I woke up I felt amazing until I focused on asking myself if I felt fine or not, and then the anxiety flooded in. It's just so annoying!!!
I have been thinking of going to see a therapist, but I'm hesitant to. One, because then I'm really admitting I have a problem and need to seek help for it, and two, because I fear they won't believe me when I say it's because of the birth control and three, because I fear they'll want to prescribe me anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds and I'm not a fan of that. I like more natural therapies, but unfortunately it's all about money to most of the doctors out there.
How is everyone else doing?
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Hey Sierra,
I'm really sorry to hear you're having a bad day. I know what you mean about seeing a therapist. I have all those same fears too, which is why I've avoided one for so long. Yet, I have a friend who went to a therapist for her anxiety attacks and it really helped her. They can suggest drugs to take, but that doesn't mean you have to take them. Plus, from everything I've read about panic and anxiety, taking drugs alone isn't enough because you also have to learn about coping skills. At my lowest times, I've considered a therapist, but usually change my mind when I feel better. You might also consider the fact that, though how you feel is a problem, it isn't something you can control completely without help. I know this forum has been like therapy for me. I don't know that I would've been able to avoid a therapist so long without it!
I know what you mean about the questions such as, "Am I feeling okay today?" Those always set me off too. Because no matter how I might have felt, those questions seem to trigger a negative response because of all my experiences. I think it's difficult to come up with a consistently positive answer when your hormones are still balancing. Honestly, I think it's best not to ask those questions at all. You can't rely on a truthful answer even from yourself because your hormones will dictate that, and that's not necessarily how you would feel if the hormones weren't in control.
As I wrote earlier today, I thought I was back to my normal self for the most part, but then my period came early and my mood swings were back like they'd never stopped. Despite the fact that I should've been happy the entire honeymoon, I still felt a shadow. Without my hormones going crazy, I would've been extremely happy the entire trip, kind of like I am now that my period started.
It's best to just keep as busy as possible until you feel a good day. Then, in those happy moments, it's safe to ask yourself how you feel while keeping in mind that you can't push yourself to feel happy all of the time.
I'm really sorry to hear you're having a bad day. I know what you mean about seeing a therapist. I have all those same fears too, which is why I've avoided one for so long. Yet, I have a friend who went to a therapist for her anxiety attacks and it really helped her. They can suggest drugs to take, but that doesn't mean you have to take them. Plus, from everything I've read about panic and anxiety, taking drugs alone isn't enough because you also have to learn about coping skills. At my lowest times, I've considered a therapist, but usually change my mind when I feel better. You might also consider the fact that, though how you feel is a problem, it isn't something you can control completely without help. I know this forum has been like therapy for me. I don't know that I would've been able to avoid a therapist so long without it!
I know what you mean about the questions such as, "Am I feeling okay today?" Those always set me off too. Because no matter how I might have felt, those questions seem to trigger a negative response because of all my experiences. I think it's difficult to come up with a consistently positive answer when your hormones are still balancing. Honestly, I think it's best not to ask those questions at all. You can't rely on a truthful answer even from yourself because your hormones will dictate that, and that's not necessarily how you would feel if the hormones weren't in control.
As I wrote earlier today, I thought I was back to my normal self for the most part, but then my period came early and my mood swings were back like they'd never stopped. Despite the fact that I should've been happy the entire honeymoon, I still felt a shadow. Without my hormones going crazy, I would've been extremely happy the entire trip, kind of like I am now that my period started.
It's best to just keep as busy as possible until you feel a good day. Then, in those happy moments, it's safe to ask yourself how you feel while keeping in mind that you can't push yourself to feel happy all of the time.
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Hey girls,
I've been having a good week got my period on Friday and I have been ok but no tonight all of a sudden this negative thoughts are back and I'm feeling really anxious having heart palpitations :( I'm snappin at my boyfriend at the slightest thing like he was talking to me like just talking and I felt like screaming i feel like c**p xxx
I've been having a good week got my period on Friday and I have been ok but no tonight all of a sudden this negative thoughts are back and I'm feeling really anxious having heart palpitations :( I'm snappin at my boyfriend at the slightest thing like he was talking to me like just talking and I felt like screaming i feel like c**p xxx
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I'm having a tough week too :(
Oh and JenniferE thanks for responding - it did make me feel a bit better!
This is all just so hard and its hard because there's not much we can do but wait. I had my first heart palpitation last night as I talked about earlier today and it really scared me. Everything I've read on them though says that anxiety and stress make them worse and more frequent so the only thing to stop that is to calm down.
I'm feeling better now after reading back through the beginning of this thread, so maybe do that. I don't know but reading through all of the old stories of people calms me down, I guess just because I know I'm not alone.
I'm sure you were feeling better because you got your period. I'm so JEALOUS!! Haha, weird I know. I just feel like I need to have one... Like it will relieve all this tension and anxiety that I have built up.
Did you ever write yourself a letter on one of your good days? Those help too! Hang in there and distract yourself - or just flip out and cry (if your man can handle it). I find that just crying makes me feel so much better afterwards. I know exactly how you feel so just know you're not alone, you are perfectly fine and you will feel better.
Good luck! Watch a happy movie or read a book - anything to distract your thoughts!
Oh and JenniferE thanks for responding - it did make me feel a bit better!
This is all just so hard and its hard because there's not much we can do but wait. I had my first heart palpitation last night as I talked about earlier today and it really scared me. Everything I've read on them though says that anxiety and stress make them worse and more frequent so the only thing to stop that is to calm down.
I'm feeling better now after reading back through the beginning of this thread, so maybe do that. I don't know but reading through all of the old stories of people calms me down, I guess just because I know I'm not alone.
I'm sure you were feeling better because you got your period. I'm so JEALOUS!! Haha, weird I know. I just feel like I need to have one... Like it will relieve all this tension and anxiety that I have built up.
Did you ever write yourself a letter on one of your good days? Those help too! Hang in there and distract yourself - or just flip out and cry (if your man can handle it). I find that just crying makes me feel so much better afterwards. I know exactly how you feel so just know you're not alone, you are perfectly fine and you will feel better.
Good luck! Watch a happy movie or read a book - anything to distract your thoughts!
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Okay girls, I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday that I thought might prove useful to all of you. I think part of the reason I was becoming so negative about my relationship on my down days was because I was beginning to lose sight of who I was and my purpose in life. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm extremely independent, and I married rather late compared to those around me in our rural community (I'm 29, my husband is 31). Anyway, when I began dating him, slowly but surely I began to center my life around him and what he enjoyed. I still hung out with my friends and continued with my own hobbies, but my mindset changed slightly and I guess I lost the ability to have friends, enjoy their company, and enjoy life in general the way I once had. Plus, it's summer and I don't have a 9-5 job (I'm a teacher). So, the less time I spend with others, the more time I had to focus solely on my husband (fiance at the time), and since my hormones were whacky, I naturally had a lot of negative thoughts that I couldn't control.
Then, we had our reception last weekend, and I had a very meaningful girls' night last night that made me realize just how much I'd been focusing on my husband. Like I said, I hadn't exactly changed my habits, but I had changed my mindset. Being around all of my friends and family at the reception reminded me of how full my life is. It may not seem that way when we can't always be visiting those we love, but they are always there for us just the same. The same can be said of our hobbies and passion. I'm a music teacher and I need remember to keep that as a focus in my life and well as my friends and new family.
Maybe it would help all of us to remember that there are many, many areas of our lives we could examine, not just our relationships. Plus, it's helpful to remember that while we may sometimes feel like a burden to our partners, we know that we make the world a better place, at least in our own little section of it :) We all have unique qualities and talents that we can use to remind ourselves of just how valuable we are, and to help keep our minds off of those negative thoughts we can't control.
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Hi guys. I wrote about a month ago. I have now been off the pill for just over 5 months. I am feeling better then i was when i last wrote on here but still not feeling myself. For the past 3 weeks i have been having accupunture which i think is helping me and giving me really good advice and information about coming off the pill. Will let you all know if the accupunture raelly does start to improve things.
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I've been having my moments. But just upset and confused as to why I can't be happy. I have no reason to feel "numb" or emotionless, or depressed for that matter as everything I've ever wanted in my life is there. I don't even feel like talking to my friends about it anymore because they just think it's subconscious. I know it's not. I have felt terrible since going on the pill, and being off of it hasn't even helped. I hope this ends soon. How are you doing ? :(
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Hi girls,
I need advice okay so I have been having a good few weeks and I got my period and just finished it Wednesday and yesterday and today I'm feeling so anxious and emotional I feel awful like I'm back there again when I'm around my boyfriend I'm having some negative thinking and it's making me so anxious feel I'm going mad again I'm only off the pill 5 months will this ever stop :(:(
I need advice okay so I have been having a good few weeks and I got my period and just finished it Wednesday and yesterday and today I'm feeling so anxious and emotional I feel awful like I'm back there again when I'm around my boyfriend I'm having some negative thinking and it's making me so anxious feel I'm going mad again I'm only off the pill 5 months will this ever stop :(:(
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Are you seeing a pattern in your mood diary of improvement? If so, try to remind yourself that it's just a few bad days and that it WILL get better. Think back to that first month off and compare it to now. Also, remember your toolbox of coping skills. I believe it will stop for you, just remember to be patient with yourself and not expect too much healing too soon. Also, keep busy!!
Today after work I realized just how much the summer months kept my mood down. Without a daily routine like I get from teaching, I just kept feeling worse. It didn't help that I got less exercise over those months too. Now that I'm back to moving around and being busy, I'm noticing how much better I feel. I'm also starting to think that I was always this way before too, I just never noticed it because only I had to deal with my emotions. Now, my husband has to deal with them too, which makes me feel like they're a lot worse than they really are.
I think it's been hard to separate how I used to feel normally from how I felt because of the pills and because it affected another person. Does anyone notice this issue?
Today after work I realized just how much the summer months kept my mood down. Without a daily routine like I get from teaching, I just kept feeling worse. It didn't help that I got less exercise over those months too. Now that I'm back to moving around and being busy, I'm noticing how much better I feel. I'm also starting to think that I was always this way before too, I just never noticed it because only I had to deal with my emotions. Now, my husband has to deal with them too, which makes me feel like they're a lot worse than they really are.
I think it's been hard to separate how I used to feel normally from how I felt because of the pills and because it affected another person. Does anyone notice this issue?
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I'm so happy I found this page! I was on the bcp for about 8 years I started due to horrible periods. I'm married now and I just don't see the point in being on them. I stopped almost 2 months ago now and I had my withdrawl bleed. Now I'm having my regular period.I have the normal period problems bloating cramps and all that good stuff. Then out of the blue I started feeling crazy. I just feel like my brain is foggy and I'm lost or something I can't really remember things from the day before I feel like I have just dreamed the past few days it's the weirdest feeling ever! I feel sluggish like I can't do anything. I really thought maybe I was going crazy. I cry over pretty much everything too. I don't feel like myself at all. I can't sleep and I get so hungry but the thought of food makes me feel sick. I started having really negative thoughts and I was panicking the other night I was so anxious that I called my mom she suggested it could be due to the fact I stopped the bcp. That's when I found this sight. I have an app with my obgyn friday hopefully they can help. (Also, after I hung up with them I busted out into tears because apparently Friday wasn't a good app day. Which now that I really think of it is so silly!) When will all of this go away? I don't want to lose my mind over this. I had no idea this could happen when I stopped bcp if the doctors had informed me I never would have took them.
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Hi Ageecate, welcome to the site! You are not alone in all of this. I completely know how you feel I thought I was goin crazy I really did. All I did was cry had awful negative thoughts about my boyfriend anxiety attacks it was horrible but I will say this keep a mood diary because you will see your moods getting better And then they will change around your period. I really thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel. But there is there really is, my gyno told me it talked a year for your hormones And body to get back on track. Be patient give yourself time.
What kind of negative thoughts are you experiencing?
What kind of negative thoughts are you experiencing?
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I will definitely have to start one! Thanks for the advice. As for the negative thoughts I'm mostly a very peppy and happy person and I see the bright side most of the time. I just started thinking that mayne me and my husband should get divorced then I thought well then my life would still be horrible so I was just thinking I should die. The whole time I was having a war in my head and telling myself to stop and just calm down it really got me worried though.
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That's exactly what happened with me, except when these things in my head were saying you dont love your boyfriend I would get extremely upset and I really thought I was goin crazy then I would have these thoughts well my life without him will be worse and I wanted to die so I took an overdose which I know now was wrong but at the time I just felt so awful in myself .
Are you feeling Any better now about your husband?
Are you feeling Any better now about your husband?
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Welcome to the forum AgeeCate!
I know how you are feeling. I was going through the worst of it a few months before my marriage, and began to doubt my decision. Of course, I made it through thanks to this forum and a really great guy (now my husband). I too used to think, even if I break off the engagement, I'll still be completely miserable. In fact, that thought made things worse. That's when I started to realize that my negative thoughts weren't fueled by any real doubts about my relationship, they were fueled by hormones. It's almost impossible to tell the difference though, because you can't exactly get out of your own head long enough to get a grasp on things. This is why, as JammyDodgers said, it's SOOOO important to be patient with yourself.
I'm mostly back to my old self, but I still have those down moments, and they aren't always easy to predict. They don't always follow my cycle, sometimes they're just random. I still have to remind myself to be patient. No matter how briefly I was on the pills, it will still take my body a very long time to readjust. I believe it will take even longer for my mind to adjust back to thinking positively. Until then, we all have to remember that it does get better.
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@JammyDodgers1411 Yea sort of sometimes I still think about it but I try to push it out of my mind because I know I'm just thinking all of it bc of the bcp knowing the reason behind it all makes me feel better. And that's awful that happened to you. Hope your doing better now. I got scared when I thought of being better off dead I have never had those kind of thoughts before. Why don't they tell us all this before they put us on the pill?! I'm glad I'm not alone here.
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