Feeling depressed after stopping the birth control pills?

Stay strong, Jammy! I know how much this really sucks, but you CAN get through it. Sierra's suggestion of staying occupied is a good one; since I am a teacher and do not work in the summer, the past month and a half has been a struggle...but I HAD to force myself to stay busy and occupied for my own sake. The WORST thing to do is dwell and let the negative thoughts consume you and mess with your head.



As for me, currently, I have still seen improvement over this past month of being completely off bc pills (month 4). Do I still get the anxiety from time to time? Yes, but it is much more bearable now and as I mentioned in previous posts, is slowly diminishing. I hope this gives you a little bit of hope.



And just remember that you have us on this forum to help you through this. I know for sure that this forum has helped me in my greatest time of need and was I soooo thankful to find it.



Again, stay strong and remember -- this too will pass in time.



Heather

Girls,

I'm having a weird day and need your help. I haven't been having symptoms in a really long time, and truthfully thought I was mostly past everything. But last night I started to feel the edges of panic, and it's just continued into today. My wedding is on Saturday, and I suspect that's what's bringing on my near-panic feeling in my chest. The problem is, I don't want this to be my focus in the days leading up to the wedding or in my thoughts on wedding day. Does anyone out there have tips on how to ease the wedding jitters?

In addition, I think now I have these mental associations I can't eradicate. So, when I get nervous, I automatically think back to how I was during the really bad times, and it makes me feel like something bigger is wrong than just wedding jitters, even though I know nothing else is wrong.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Hi Jennifer,


I know what you mean about getting nervous and immediately thinking back to those times. I do that too now and its really annoying! I'm sure it will pass with time though.


Guaranteed you're feeling this way because of all the stress you're under with your wedding. Mine is still 3 months away and I'm stressing out big time. Didn't you write a letter to yourself? If so, read it and don't brush it off. Take in every word and believe it. I also suggested an app I downloaded in a previous post. I have an Android, but I'm sure it's available for other phones. Its called "Stop Panic and Anxiety." Listen to the audio that is specifically for times of panic. It really does calm you down if you follow everything the lady is saying. Also, if you can find a place that sells the Heel Inc. brand "Calming" tablets they really work best for jitters. You put a few under your tongue and let them dissolve, usually my jitters are almost all gone by the time they've completely dissolved. Plus, they're all-natural, no drugs!


Other than that, distract yourself completely. Every time you get a thought in your head that tells you that you might feel like this on your wedding day just stop it in its tracks and tell yourself that you won't feel like that. Just remind yourself that this is all hormone related. Even get a little mad at it - tell it to get the hell out of your head haha!!


I was feeling great from Sunday to Tuesday, and then Tuesday night for no reason I started having the tight chest and breathing problems again. That brought on the anxiety jitters and it lasted a little bit into yesterday. But at one point I just remembered that I do have a little bit of control over it. The problem with us is that we dwell on it, and I know it is SO hard not to when you're in the midst of it, but just remember how you feel on good days and how silly all of this seems on those days. Try and get yourself calmed down and back to that thinking.


You will have an AMAZING wedding day! I'm sure of it! With everything that will be going on you're not going to have time to dwell on these crazy thoughts. Stay strong! You'll be fine :)

Thanks for the quick reply, it helped. I talked with my fiancé...well, more like cried on his shoulder about how I was feeling. I even told him that I was still asking myself if he was the one for me, and even though the answer is always yes, I still feel bad for questioning it 3 days before the wedding. He was completely supportive though and believes it's normal. What do you girls think? Is it normal to question things a few days before the wedding even when you both know it's the right thing to do?

I guess it's also harder to deal with innocent questions because people always talk about weddings without really mentioning the anxiety that goes along with them. The anxiety isn't just about wedding plans, it kind of encompasses all the feelings about the major life change. I just wish everyone was more open about this sort of thing so I didn't feel like such a freak for being anxious about it :)

That's how I feel! Its not just the wedding, its the fact that life has changed so quickly! I am going through this transition phase of realizing I'll never be a kid again and it's hard! I feel like nobody talks about it and I'm just crazy because I am having a hard time handling it. I'm sure part of it is our hormonal imbalance, but I just wish it was more widely known that it's kinda tough!



I think it's completely normal to question it. I just bought a house with my fiance and it's sort of the same thing - it's a really big commitment. Of course, nothing is permanent, but the way out (aka, selling the house, or getting a divorce) is not something to be taken lightly so it is a big decision. I remember right after we put in the offer on our house I questioned it for weeks. We continued looking at other houses, even though we loved the one we picked. I've had the same thoughts about my wedding, even though I know I don't want anyone else, ever.



I'm sure you picked the right man for you. He sounds like a really great guy :)

Sorry girls, if we're getting a little off topic with the wedding talk, but I do feel much of my anxiety today is simply leftover effects of the hormones continuing to rebalance and my own mental associations with the whole ordeal.

Anyway, I got off the phone with my mom and she agreed that people often gloss over the fact that most (if not all) women get nervous before their wedding, and not just because of all the planning. It's seems like yet another topic that women are often silent about. It seems to be the same with BCP. The media portrays a woman as 100% percent sure before her wedding and sublimely happy. While it is a happy time, there are tons of other emotions mixed in as well. The same goes for BCP. Everyone hails the pill as freedom for women, and this is true for some who have few negative side effects. However, it doesn't feel like that to women like us, whose lives have turned upside down because of a drug that most consider harmless.

And yes, I definitely picked the right guy for me :)

Hi Heather,

Thanks for ur reply . The thing I find the most hard is the negative thoughts about my boyfriend... Like the past few days I've been like is her the really the one for me what if I don't love him and these thoughts bring on my anxiety. And then I get so confused because when I'm upset all I want is him to hold me. Sometimes I feel like I'm goin mad I really do.

I still have not gotten my period I am six days late now and getting a bit worried. I'm think is this the reason why I'm thinking all this stuff because I still have yet to get my period and my hormones are going mad uugghh I'm so angry that I'm goin through this I wish this wud all go away. :(:(

Like when I think of who I want to grow old with it's always mark the answer is. I get really upset when he leaves to go to work cos to be honest that's when I feel the lonliest xx

I tried logging onto your site. I am having a really tough time with this and feel really alone. I went off the pill 3 months ago and feel so depressed and keep scaring myself that somethings wrong with me. Can you please help me? _[removed]_

Stephanie

Hi Stephanie!



Don't worry - I know exactly how you feel. I felt really alone at first too until I started talking to everyone on here, and especially my family and friends. Do you have good days and bad days or is it constant?



I never knew how much of an issue this was until I started talking to people about it. Obviously everyone on here, but almost all my friends, and some of their friends have had or are going through this same reaction to the pill. All of them got through it - so don't dwell on thinking you'll never be the same... I know its hard not to think that, but you will feel better, I promise :)

Stephanie-



You are DEFINITELY NOT alone! SO MANY women are experiencing exactly what you have been going through...

A couple of questions for you:

* Have you seen ANY improvement as time has gone by since you quit the pill?

* What symptoms specifically have you been suffering with? --Because I guarantee you I have experienced many of them myself.



Remember to have faith in the fact that this will eventually go away. DO NOT dwell on it!! I used to, and it nearly consumed me.



Stay strong, and know that you have this forum as support:)

Jammy-



No prob! Based on what you've said, it sounds to me that Mark is the guy for you. Clearly that is what your heart wants, and it's your hormones that are messing with your head...and it's probably worse now because you are waiting on your period.



Here is a tip that may help you in dealing with the anxiety and negative thoughts: Set aside a particular time every day for "worry time" or "anxiety time." FIFTEEN minutes TOPS. Whenever a negative or anxious thought pops into your mind, just say to yourself, "Nope. Not gonna focus on this until my worry time tonight at 6:00 (or whenever it is). When worry time rolls around ALLOW yourself to think about what has been making you anxious during the day. BUT AGAIN only allow yourself 15 minutes....set a timer if you need to. Once that timer goes off that's it. NO MORE focusing on it until next worry time.



This is a pretty effective way to manage anxious thoughts that creep in. By practicing this, your worry and anxiety won't consume you the whole entire day. Give it a whirl...it might help!



Keep me posted:)

Hey Heather,

Thanks so much for you advice it really means alot. Today has been the worst day of the all I have not yet gotten my period I'm seven days late buy I mean I'm getting the most severe period pains but no sign of it, all I've done is cried all day, I feel exhausted!

My boyfriend went out with some mates tonight and I feel so miserable I just want him to come home and make me feel better, I just want to get my period and to feel grand again...... I'm fed up feeling like this.

Thanks again for listening and replying to me. How are you getting on? Are you feeling better. How long are you off your pill now I'm off it five months now xxxx

Hi Jennifer,

I just wanted to send a quick message and say have an amazing day tomorrow on your wedding day I'll be thinking of you. Enjoy every minute of it !

Lov Jen x

Thanks for the well wishes :)  I got over the anxiousness from a few days ago, though I can feel it starting to try and creep back in tonight. We had our wedding rehearsal, and it was great. I wasn't a bit anxious and was just happy to be there and ready to be married. It really did help to talk with all of you, as well as my family and friends. Everybody tells me that my jitters will lift the moment the ceremony is over and I'm on my honeymoon. I believe that's true, which is why I'm ready for it all to be done!

Well girls, I'm officially married. And just in case some of you are going through a life change while still waiting for your hormones to balance. I figured I'd let you know how it went for me.