I take 10mg of Xanax, 150 mg of Effexor,15 mg of adderall, 1

I am on the verge of going to a psych ward! I take I take 10mg of Xanax, 150 mg of Effexor, 15 mg of Adderall, 10mg of Buspar and 50mg of Seroquel a day at 20yr old (YES 20!)I'm sure your thinking how is she is taking all of this and is alive. Whats more amazing is I am 5'9 or'10 (I have 1 leg an inch shorter than another %-) ) and i weigh anywhere from 115-122 lbs, just depends on the day I guess. I have been taking antidepressants for 7 years. I grew up with a drug problem and now I have realized it was not an "addiction" I needed help. One thing I try not to put into my list of prescription drugs is that because of my back problem from my leg I have at a point in my life, taken 80mg of Roxy's, Oxy's, whichever I had at the time being. I went to a methadone clinic and almost ended up in the hospital because of the pain in my upper abdomen. I'm also a binge drinker, I drink a 6 pack a day at least. I just recently added the Seroquel to my madness and afraid its either going to make me gain/loose weight, I'm not sure. (A few pounds wouldn't hurt, yes, I know. But cannot afford to loose anymore) I do have, I guess you could call an "eating disorder" because eating is not something I think about a lot, its DRUGS! I cannot swallow very well so there may be another reason. Anyways, I am currently still doing all of the above and it's not working still, it feels like a 7 year experiment, and im so sick of it! This may sound funny to most but I am enrolled in college going for PHARMACY, as weird as that sounds its because I want to go into the research field, main to find out why their are people with our disabilities. It has always been an interest of mine and I will most likely change my mind but for now go GATORS! lol Honestly I am just on a becan call for an answer or help!!! I never wanna be hear and disowned all my friends and haven't left my house in months besides school and docs. HELP PLEASE?? ANYTHING! Thanks