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Okay this really might sound weird.

But it I actually came to this conclusion today because I noticed a lot and I looked up schizophrenia.

My parents and I fought a few days ago at dinner and my mother suddenly said that I had symptoms of schizophrenia, but I actually had no idea what that really was, I mean, I knew it was a mental disorder.

I am depressed. Yes, I admit it, but only here, because you don't know me. But I guess my parents noticed that.

So I looked it up and found some things about symptoms and the age range when what stadium might be and what not. Then I noticed... A lot.

I hear my thoughts screaming at me sometimes, I thought it was no big deal because I have had that for quite a while. Also, I remember that when I was like in 7th grade, I went to school one day and I had this disgusting and extremely strong smell of gasoline in my nose, and I could taste it,too. It actually scared me a lot and I went home that day and we went straigth to the doctor. He couldn't find anything. I had that symptom two times again after that in the past two years. I get scared extremely easily, especially when I am alone, because I always hear weird noises, like knocking and scraping and stuff, I alwas thought that it was either the house, or my brain just did that because it was working... idk.

Recently I have lost pretty much all of my friends. Which were only four, and only two of them were my close friends. Well, I stayed home for two weeks because I had some lung infection and when they texted me, I would either ignore it, or aswer really simply. When I went back to school last week, pretty much everybody I talked to sayd I had changed a lot and they were very worried. But honestly, I know they hate me, they are all on that guy's side that bullies me. I jsut know it, even if they swear they don't. 

I hate talking to people. I never answer the phone, except if it's my mother because she only calls if it's important. I try to get people I have to do group work with to let me do it alone and just send it to him afterwards. I always HATE talkig in front of groups, or even worse, class. 

I am pretty bad in school, I have been since fifth grade, in between, like 7th grade I got a little better, but I am pretty sure I am not going to make this school year. 

I somehow always break every friendship I get and the only friend I have had for over three years now is a guy I know over the internet and we barely talk, but when we do, it's deep.

I also noticed that recently, for about half a year now, I have really been drifting off of reality. It sounds pretty weird if you don't kow what I mean, I guess... but it's always as if there was a plastic wall in front of me, drowning out the noises, I can still hear them, but I can't listen to them anymore, and my vison is so werid, I forget a lot very easily, even if I try to remember what I just saw or said or heard ten seconds ago sometimes. Reality isn't even really there for me anymore. I don't really know what that is. I don't care about anything, I don't care about school, friends, I forget about my older brother who is gone for a while, it's like he never existed, I even forgot about my father, who was gone for a week only! All I can actually really feel is either physlical pain, wich I have a lot recently, like headache, tensed muscles etc, or when I get drunk I sometimes just laugh extremely hard about something that isn't even that funny if it is funny at all.

The past weeks I have also noticed, that people are looking at me too long, like they were staring, and I hear people laugh but when I look up, everybody around me has a straight face. I get scared by that honeslty. I started listening to music non-stop so I wouldn't hear things that aren't actually there. 

So, if you could tell me if you think I might be schizophrenic, or anything else, please tell me. Or if you have this too and it isn't abnormal, please thell me too, because that would be great. 

Also,  I still have a lot more to tell, but I am sure you can barely hang on to read this... And I am too lazy to r´wrigth any longer, sorry.


I am 14 and in 8th grade. I feel the same way sometimes. I have been wondering what it is. Its like I don't even know what's going on anymore. I don't talk to anyone even my boyfriend. At one point in time I thought he broke up with me so I went to him during lunch and got it a physical fight with him. I don't know what's going on either.


that just sucks right :/ It's so confusing, but I wouldn't want to go to someone and ask if they could check if I have schizophrenia, I mean, only if I am pretty sure...