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"It's Sunday. I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing
golf and it took 25 tosses to get it right!"

A gushy reporter told Jack Nicklaus, "You are spectacular, your name is
Synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the
course. What's your secret?"
Nicklaus replied, "The holes are numbered".


A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest
asks, "What are you going to use on this hole my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, Father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest
tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you Father, but in my church
when we pray, we keep our head down."

An American went to Scotland and played golf with a newly acquainted
Scottish golfer. After a bad tee shot, he played a "Mulligan" which was an
extremely good one. He then asked the Scot, "What do you call a Mulligan
in Scotland?" "We call it hitting 3."
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody
5-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your
"Yes" says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts
her, hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times... .just put me down for a


bloody five iron... ouch