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The Texas preacher rose with an angry red face. "Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.This is a
horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am
embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did
this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family." No
one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and
admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart
you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."Again all was
quiet. Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would
stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice
quivered as she spoke. "Reverend there has been a terrible
misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klan. I simply told
a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."




A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller, "I want to
open a damn checking account."

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have
misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, dammit. I said

I want to open a d@mn checking account now."

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this
bank." The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to
inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not
have to listen to that foul language. They both return to the window and the
manager asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no d@mn problem," the man says ..."I just won 50 million bucks in
the d@mn lotto and I want to open a d@mn checking account in this d@mn
bank."

"I see," says the manager, "and is this b!tch giving you a hard time?"

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Following are four religious truths I have found:

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian
World.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
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