Is he an abusive boyfriend or did he pull my hair because I hit him first after he provoked me?

Heloooo, This might be a long one So my boyfriend and I went out with a few friends and had a huge argument coz I saw one of my male friends and he says I was flirting with the guy. he then threatened to leave me there and said I can ask them to drop me off, we ended up leaving the club together and drove to his place where my car was , it escalated and I grabbed my bag and stormed to my car . I then realized I didn't have my phone and needed it to call our patrolling officers to get into my yard safely. He drove past me and headed back for the club we were at to meet up with his friends again.. I called him from a pay phone and asked if he has my phone and he said no he doesn't and a few nasty words were exchanged. I was then furious ...drove to the club mad as he'll coz I knew he had my phone , I pulled him from his friends and we went outside and said I embarrassed him infront of his friends. I asked him where he parked and he refused to tell me. Eventually he gave in and we walked to his car Angry as hell I then pulled him by his collar and slapped him on the back of his head and spotted his car so I walked faster to get there. He Then hit me at the back of my head and pulled me by my hair towards him making me stumble I was in total shock and couldn't stop shaking. At his car he threatened to break my phone which he actually had and admitted to being spiteful because of me "flirting" earlier and got into his car. Eventually we were sitting in the car and the argument heated up again, he threatened to punch me in my face. Gave me my phone and said if I come out the parking lot I must js watch what he is gonna when I drive out of there. I was Terrified and ran to my car. There were cops there and I asked them to see me home safely and then he drove into the parking lot where the cops told him to leave me alone. He has pulled me around by my arms with force and bruised me in an argument before and pushed my ribs In really hard as he got jealous previously. QUESTION: Is he an abusive boyfriend or did he pull my hair coz I hit him first after he provoked me?? P.S I have never slapped him or physically did anything until this happened.