My first kiss was a girl, and growing up me and my close friends(girls) would role play and rub against eachother. I have always been attracted to girls, but boys too and as the most 'normal' thing to do would have been to kiss boys, this is what i have done, from i was 13-16 i was completely focussed on boys but then this girl came into my life, she was a lesbian and we grew closer and closer until she told me she fancied me. i of course was over the moon and told her i fancied her too. It took a while for us to be together though because i was a little scared :-( but we did! It was amazing - a first love from the movies. She was a dream come true. But she became very needy and our relationship had to be kept secret, i started getting anxious feeling like she wasnt enough, feeling like i needed a boy and needed to be shown off to the world by this boy. So we broke up and i went back to boys, for the next two years i cheated on every boy i was with with my first love and couldnt be happy with anyone else. We stopped talking and months later we rekindled the love and picked up where we left off, this didnt last for long but i still love her. I know i need to move on and forget her but i dont know if im a lesbian or straight, ive been with other girls and other boys to see but all i think about is my first love. I dont know whether shes the only girl i like or whether i just like boys, i need to move on but i dont know whether its with a boy or girl?!
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