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i'm 16 year old female and cant seem to get my boyfriend hard. hes not a virgin and neither am i and he says hes never had this problem before and i haven't either. Ive never had a problem getting a guy up even if i don't plan on having sex with them: a kiss or swiping past them is enough or even telling them stupid stuff they like hearing from girls I've even gotten guys hard by them just looking at me. he swears up and down that it isnt me and he doesnt know what could possibly be the problem. i get self conscious that he isnt attracted to me but he says if he wasnt he wouldnt be with me for this long. he refuses to just b friends because we are so deep in the relationship and truely love eachother so he says let it happen naturally. idk what to do i dont do oral so i need another option making that be the complete last available choice. we have tried countless amount of times and i try to let him be in control doing anything he wants me to do but i dont know what to do anymore. i asked other guys an they say he has the problem b/c if it were them they could easily get on hard. i couldve sworn he was on hard a couple times but he says he was we'd already been done it so i guess it just wasnt all the way. please help i have no clue what it is.!

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is he black or white?
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So Im having the same exact problem with my boyfriend right now...Before we got together I was abstinent and he had no problem getting hard while we were kissing...Now that Im not he just cant seem to get completely hard and Im starting to think its because he's not attracted to me,,so my question is did you ever find out what the problem was or a solution for it?
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A few questions before i answer.
1] What your bf age?
2] Does he smoke, drink or do stuffing of weeds and such?
3] You said he is not virgin, was he hard during his last sex?
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i had the excact same problem. Whenever i was on and he knew sex wasn't an option he was completely fine, but otherwise it'd get slightly hard but not hard enough, and on one occasion it got hard but when we went to have sex it went soft again. he was focusing to much on sex and was just nervous. i know its the worst thing to talk about it took me ages to pluck up the courage to speak to him about it but he needs to know its effecting you aswell as him. try not to pressure him and don't plan to have sex just let it happen naturally, he'll be more relaxed and comfortable with you. hope this helps and good luck :)
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