I've had sex with him several times already and it's all gone just fine but today he was trying to do a position we had done before and I didn't feel really comfortable because of course I'm a dumb girl and not confident in my naked body and didn't want to do it in broad daylight but tried anyways and he couldn't get it in and he went flaccid..then once i got him hard again i tried to do the position again and this time he couldn't stay hard. So then after that he kind of gave up and said he probably can't do it because we did it twice yesterday and that it's him not me and that we can try again later..but of course once again for being a ridiculous girl I assume it's because of me..like maybe my naked body is repulsive? haha i dunno...this has just never happened to me so I can't help feeling bad.
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Hi mariemarie33, this is actually sort of a common problem that has much more to do with your boyfriend than you. This is probably the only time you can trust him when he says it's him not you. While seem to lack confidence in yourself, so does your boyfriend. Sex within a new relationship can be both scary and exciting and sometimes overwhelming. You need to worry less about your body, which I'm sure he loves, and more about making him feel that he's capable of pleasing you and that you are enjoying yourself. Perhaps next time, you would both be more comfortable if you made the setting during the evening, dim lighting = less pressure for both of you. I'm sure that this little situation will improve and the more comfortable you guys get with each other, the easier the intimacy will become more effortless.
Good Luck!
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thank you so much! and yeah..you're absolutely right. I need to set aside my ridiculous self esteem issues and focus more on him. thank you for responding! I appreciate it.
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Try to just have fun touching each other and exploring each other's parts and finding what feels good to both of you. Don't make "sex" or intercourse the BIG thing that you MUST accomplish. Have fun, enjoy fooling around and sex will come naturally as you feel like it. It's ok for one of you to come before the other. It's ok for one or both of you to not come at all. Enjoying the touch and feel of each other's bodies is fine. Don't put so much stress into it. You're doing things because they feel good not because you have to make the world explode.
About your insecurities and not wanting him to see your naked body. Boy's minds are programmed to want to see your body and to like whatever you have. Boys have preferences just like you do. I'm sure you don't want to date every boy you see and he doesn't want every girl he sees. But he's already with you so he certainly likes something about you and most likely will love what he sees under your clothes. So show it to him with pride.
About your insecurities and not wanting him to see your naked body. Boy's minds are programmed to want to see your body and to like whatever you have. Boys have preferences just like you do. I'm sure you don't want to date every boy you see and he doesn't want every girl he sees. But he's already with you so he certainly likes something about you and most likely will love what he sees under your clothes. So show it to him with pride.
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