A lot of people will read what you wrote, and blame it all on the porn.
others will say it's just him or just that the two of you weren't meant for each other.
But I take a different tack...
You both need to know that men can't always get hard or erect on demand. ALL men have experiences where they become soft sooner than they might like. And men also are visually stimulated. If they find they are aroused easily by what the can find in porn, then they may find they prefer that immediate gratification cause it's faster, with less complications. But, we all get tired of the same thing all the time.
If we could only eat steak each meal, we'd grow very tired of it fast...and there would come a point where we would not be hungry when presented with it.
The fact that your bf was able to be become hard and complete the act with you tells me that there is still an interest in you, and that there is hope.
However, the fact that he masturbated and then wasn't interested in sex or couldn't get firm the next day on demand DOES NOT MEAN THAT HE CAN'T LATER.
ALL men masturbate. Your bf will not stop that behavior. But if he feels that the porn is getting in the way of your relationship, he CAN put it asside. He may prefer it, or he may decide to only use it once in a while. But he CAN control that behavior, in favor of being with you.
Give this some time, and don't
be too hard on him or on you.
In any relationship, there will be some times when you just won't be able to have sex or intercourse on demand. Acceptance and finding other means of expressing your love for each other should be part of your relationship.
And I know that for the sake of our relationship I tell him to stop cause obviously idk y porn now causes him not to get erect and he still does it anyway and each time says it was the last time and he didn't know y he did it and he didn't think it was wrong even now with this problem :-( I honestly feel he can't control it but he says he can which makes me feel like he just does it well knowing it will cause him not to be able to please me.
You are going to have to convince him that you have changed your opinions and you want him to be able to express his sexuality without fearing your disapproval.
We need to first have a desire and if something turns off that desire or affects it negatively, things don't work well.
Let me tell you something that happened to me once. Maybe it will help you understand more about how we males work.
There was an episode of Cheers where Sam is following Dianne out the door and he pats her on the butt. She turns and says "We agreed not to do it tonight". Sam replies "I can't help it, it's in my genes". She replies "and that's where it's going to stay".
My wife stomped out of the room and up to bed saying "that's disgusting, that show's a waste of film".
Well, that statement sure turned me off from any thoughts I had about having sex with her that night.
Even though I had been thinking about it, I felt any desire I had for her at that moment, just drain away.
So some things that are said can have a very negative affect on how a guy's system works.
In this day and age of internet porn, excessive masturbation is destroying young men's sexual well beings. It is an enormous power to have access to millions/billions of naked women at a push of a key. various shapes and sizes, lots of choices. This is the primary desensitizing factor for guys especially if they're young. the problem is over-stimulation leads to ultra heightened senses which in turn leads to desensitization. reward and responsibility is out of sync (simply, rich rewards for little to none responsibility). you obviously won't be able to find your girlfriend attractive if you are looking at porn stars everyday. In conclusion, it's not totally his fault that he is in this situation. the solution is to do things in moderation. reduce the porn intake and masturbation output. try it (don't lie to yourself) to see if it works. sometimes it's deeply psychological. You can see professional as the last resort. whatever you do, do not "punish" him for the behavior, you need to "guide" him to enjoy his time with you. DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS! (unless they are professional for this kind of thing). Your female friends will only give you generic advice that will not only fail to work but also going to push him further away from you. You cannot tell him to stop watching porn or masturbate. ever tried to tell someone to stop drinking or smoking? IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! he's just fulfilling his biological need by using the way that is available to him. religious nuts already turned this into a very taboo practice, you don't wanna fan the flames and push him away. if you really care about him, guide him with positive criticism and help him out. when i say "help him out", i'm not telling you to jump his bone...what i'm suggesting is to make him more comfortable around you with this kind of stuff. Take interest in his sexual well being as well as yours, encourage him to take interest in your sexual well being too. make it an activity that you both do together. contrary to popular belief, guys do not want to have intercourse all the time....that's biologically not possible. there are so many other things you can do to distract him from it. If you think you're nervous, imagine how he feels with his soft penis in his hand standing in front of you....the worst thing you can do is to kick him when he's down (literally) lol. but whatever you do, do not tell him to stop doing something without giving him alternative option. If he's like most guys, he will NEVER EVER listen to you otherwise. even if he stops (in front of you), he'll secretly hate you for it...and still does it behind your back. (which is exactly why he got offended when you asked him if he watched porn again). it's psychology 101. I know you were too young to understand all that because you were 18, just keep that in mind for your future relationships.