I have been in my relationship with my husband for six years. We've been married for two and have two children. Ever since the start my husband has never touched or kissed me before or during sex. It seems that a quick nipple grab and a poke in the back is about as much foreplay as he can manage. I have talked with him about this on lots of different occasions, and the only explaination he can give me is that he just doesnt like going down on women and that kissing is something that teenagers do. He cant even manage to touch me down there either. I have tried buying lots of different toys to encourage him, but nothing works. I am now feeling like I want to go outside our marriage to find a more satisfying sex life, but I love my husband so much I dont want to. I thought things might have improved over time, but I now dont think that he will ever change. I used to be really confident about myself, but now I just feel like I cant be bothered even having sex with him as I am starting to feel as though I am only there for his pleasure. Is there hope, or is our relationship headed for divorce?
Loading...
There is always hope. If your hub is dead set on not giving you oral pleasure, try giving it to him. How do you think he would react? As far as him not kissing you, that's just plain strange. Does he kiss the kids? Many men think that going down on a women is gross. Could he have had a bad experience along the way before you? DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, PLEASE.....is your hygiene good? Kissing goes back in time farther than i could ever count, i don't know what's up with that part for him.
How would he feel about a sex therapist or a marraige counselor? You can even buy self help tapes that the both of you can watch together.
I know how frustrating it could be for you, and i hate to send you off masterbating due to not being satisfied by your husband, but..........
An affair is not the answer. You obviously have no idea what something like that would do to your family. You have two kids and they always get trapped in the middle. Turn over every stone before you throw in the towel. I know sexual gratifacation plays a hugh part in a marraige, but you really should seek out some therapy even if you go alone the Doc can give you some tips on how to wake up your sleeping giant. This way, if all else fails and you know that you did everything to salvage this relatinship and if you finally walk away, you will know that you did everything possible to save it.
How would he feel about a sex therapist or a marraige counselor? You can even buy self help tapes that the both of you can watch together.
I know how frustrating it could be for you, and i hate to send you off masterbating due to not being satisfied by your husband, but..........
An affair is not the answer. You obviously have no idea what something like that would do to your family. You have two kids and they always get trapped in the middle. Turn over every stone before you throw in the towel. I know sexual gratifacation plays a hugh part in a marraige, but you really should seek out some therapy even if you go alone the Doc can give you some tips on how to wake up your sleeping giant. This way, if all else fails and you know that you did everything to salvage this relatinship and if you finally walk away, you will know that you did everything possible to save it.
Loading...
bbfeet9 has given you great advice.
I'm a bit unclear if you're saying that your husband has never gone down on you, giving a genital kiss... or if he doesn't kiss your lips in foreplay?
One way to get him more comfortable with foreplay and touch, and kissing, is to go away to an area hotel/motel, and reserve the evening for just massage. That is, before you two agree to go, you discuss what you will and will not be doing.
If you agree that there will be no sex, just mutual massage and back rubs, you might be able to turn him onto a different type of relaxation and pleasure giving. Several community colleges offer classes in massage, and most extension classes will feature one in community outreach.
If he understands that the goal is NOT for quick sex, but rather to experience each other's body, with NO pressure to proceed to intercourse, over time, he can learn to touch and massage you. You can eventually incorporate this into your lovemaking and foreplay.
You could also reserve some time for kissing... in private... in various stages of undress. Kisses can be on the lips, on the neck, on breasts, chests, shoulders, nipples, bellies, and given time and relaxation, even in the genital region. If he's uncomfortable with going down, a good book or two on sexual expression and stimulation that BOTH of you can read and share can expand your horizons.
"The Guide to Getting it On" by Goofy Foot Press is very light hearted and completely liberal. "Sex for One" by Betty Dodson is very good at teaching sensuality. And "She Comes First" can be very instructive at oral sex on a woman.
These are just some suggestions to consider... depending on just what you want to address.
Good luck.
I'm a bit unclear if you're saying that your husband has never gone down on you, giving a genital kiss... or if he doesn't kiss your lips in foreplay?
One way to get him more comfortable with foreplay and touch, and kissing, is to go away to an area hotel/motel, and reserve the evening for just massage. That is, before you two agree to go, you discuss what you will and will not be doing.
If you agree that there will be no sex, just mutual massage and back rubs, you might be able to turn him onto a different type of relaxation and pleasure giving. Several community colleges offer classes in massage, and most extension classes will feature one in community outreach.
If he understands that the goal is NOT for quick sex, but rather to experience each other's body, with NO pressure to proceed to intercourse, over time, he can learn to touch and massage you. You can eventually incorporate this into your lovemaking and foreplay.
You could also reserve some time for kissing... in private... in various stages of undress. Kisses can be on the lips, on the neck, on breasts, chests, shoulders, nipples, bellies, and given time and relaxation, even in the genital region. If he's uncomfortable with going down, a good book or two on sexual expression and stimulation that BOTH of you can read and share can expand your horizons.
"The Guide to Getting it On" by Goofy Foot Press is very light hearted and completely liberal. "Sex for One" by Betty Dodson is very good at teaching sensuality. And "She Comes First" can be very instructive at oral sex on a woman.
These are just some suggestions to consider... depending on just what you want to address.
Good luck.
Loading...
My wife don't like to receive oral sex to much.ive tried everything I know to get down there,I sure wish she would like it,because I sure love giving it.
Loading...