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I'm 26 years old. Male. I fancied girls in school, but began to wonder if I was gay around 14. Depression set in. Suicidal. I obsessed 24/7 over finding out if I really had "turned" gay, or was my past hetero feelings phase or mistake. I thought coming out my help, so I did. It didn't help. I started to notice girls more again around 16, but avoided relationships while still unsure. I watched hetero porn and noticed that women seemed to get more pleasure than guys (clitoris, multiple orgasms, no pressure to perform/pleasure, G spot, moan more = more enjoymen, etc) and this saddened me. I wanted equality.

I first (sorry) masturbated at 23, not out of pent up sexual frustration, but to get pleasure. But I didn't get any. Only the orgasm. Penile stimulation felt like rubbing my arm. I hoped sex would be better.

I admit to jelqing for 5 months around this time but I feel this isn't the cause as, I would have noticed that jelqing decreased pleasure gradually, rather than never having had any at all ever.

Age 25: I promised myself to avoid relationships - but foolishly got involved with a girl who became my girlfriend. After performance anxiety (which I wondered if it was sexuality-based = anxious vicious cycle) for a long time, I started having sex, and that too was devoid of pleasure until the orgasm.

For a while I blamed my girlfriend who had not long had a child by her ex (widened vagina). But came to terms with it being me. And sunk into more depression. Only this time, I was able to give but not get pleasure. Any libido I have (which is terribly low) when I am around my gf is killed once I realize during sex that I'm getting no pleasure. I've become jealous of my girlfiend who loves sex, and women for whom it seems sex is one big Orgasm with bigger O's on top. Men have less pleasure (no moaning til the O). Then at the bottom of the chain, is me.

I've tried focusing on my pleasure, on hers, on my glans, on my frenulum, on relaxing, watching all kinds of porn including one with guys, attempted prostate stimulation [alone w/ Aneros massager (aneros.com)]...nothing.

I went to the doctor for a testosterone test: it came back average. He said: "Some people just aren't sexual. It could be psychological". Women who have this type of issue are offered advice/resorts: "maybe it's your guy, focus on the clitoris, see your gyn". I don't see guys who have ALWAYS had my problem.

I can't accept this. This week at work I was so anxious and depressed I cried and called a psychiatrist (apmt in 1 months time. Too long!) It has affected me as badly as the sexuality OCDlike depression. If I got pleasure from masturbation, I would say: "YES! Def psychological", but it seems I have no penile pleasure and a low libido (there has to be a relation?).

I think the problem is urological or maybe the doctor is right and I just have no pleasure capabilities??

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sometimes it could be from masterbateing too much but if thats not the case it could be you not erected enough to feel more pleasure maybe viagra will help if not it might be your nerve system sometimes people are born with birth defects sometimes pleasure doesnet travle though some peoples bodys in rare cases and some new technologys in brain surgerys might fix stuff but dont look at me i only heard of it >.< but i doupt thats the case before all try not masterbateing for a while and doing it again to test it (a weeks rest) if that dont work try viagra and if that dont work ask your doctor about your options on how to help you get pleasure and explane your problem and how depressed it makes you , btw im 16 but even so i know alot about medical advice :-) goodluck i hope youll find a solution i tryed my best to help tell me about it ,let me know if that worked ^.^ happy to help a fellow buddy in need.
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Health Ace
6885 posts
I don't have an answer for you but I do have a question.
What the heck is jelqing?
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Hi there, jelqing is a method of enlarging the penis (untested and unproven though) by stretching the muscles and massaging them around the penis in the hopes that it can grow larger. Despite what the poster said, it actually CAN cause permanent damage to the penis. Just curious but how old are you? It's not a new technique but it is rare. Where are you from? I guess maybe I came across it when I was doing sex education. Sort of funny how quickly you can become aware of these things :loL:
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gl, i hope your problem gets resolved :/
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Well, I would hope it does too, although it seems to mean that you'd have to undergo surgery to see any effects that are lasting on it. DOes that make sense?
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