I am a 71 year old male. About 14 years ago, I had a high rating on a PSA test, which lead to a twelve needle biopsy. The results were rated as a Gleason 8 tumor. My urologist said the type of prostate cancer I had was very aggressive and that we needed to take some action. At that time, I was told my options were radiation and/or surgery. Prostate cancer had occurred in both of my Grandfathers. My father had not come back from WWII so I had no information on him. However, I had done some research into what I would do if prostate cancer visited me. I opted for a radical prostatectomy. Both my urologist and the pathologist believed that the surgery got all the cancer, and saw no value in radiation. As it turned out, I have never had much of anything to speak of on any subsequent PSA tests. Oh joy and rapture. I am alive, and doing well with one exception. Prior to the cancer diagnosis, my wife and I had a very active sex life. We had been married for over 25 years and had engaged in some form of sex on an average of twenty or so times a month. When my wife learned of my cancer, she asked for a divorce. Following the surgery, I was impotent and of course could no longer ejaculate. On the advice of a crusty older nurse, God Bless her, I learned that I could masturbate to a sort of semi erection and achieve an orgasm. However I entered a period of depression and when I finally found my way out of it, I could no longer achieve an orgasm. Following a discussion with my urologist, I tried some injections directly into the penis that was supposed to result in an erection, but it was not satisfactory, and the whole idea of sticking a needle into my penis was not very appealing. My doctor then recommended an Osbon penis pump which cost a couple of hundred dollars. When I tried the pump, it sucked my scrotum into the pump cylinder and slammed a testicle into the pump cylinder. It hurt so bad I threw up. The pricey Osbon pump ended up in the garbage. So here I am. My libido has always been very high and seems to be getting higher as I age. I am still very attracted to women and, have no interest in a sexual relationship with men. I don't really care for the company of men all that much and never have. Between the internet and satellite TV, I am bomarded with pornography. While I do watch a fair amount of porn and sexually explict shows on TV, it does nothing to assuage my libido. I hate sleeping alone, and I hate the notion of nothing but platonic relationships with women. Over the years I learned how to do a satisfactory job of performing oral sex, however, even the ladies of my age still want sexual intercourse in their lives and to be honest, I would not be interested in a women who did not want sex. I have been so lonely for female sexual compaionship that I have met with several prostitutes, and it is nice to be able to touch and talk with an attractive nude woman, but then I have to go back to my empty lonely place. Is there any way that I could reestablish the ability to have orgasms? Does anyone have an ideas or information as to how I could achieve an erection and failing that, how do I shut down my libido? Anyone have any suggestions. I have been seriously considering just putting an end to my lonely life. Thanks.
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I'm certain that a doctor or a therapist has suggested it, but have you considered a strap on or using a dildo on your lady friends?
I also wondered about your wife and oral when you mentioned she wanted a divorce. That's one area that I would have pushed for.
There are a lot of other alternative form of expression love and affection that can include sexual stimulation, even if erections or orgasm are not possible for you.
I hope you fin some satisfaction.
PS: Have you considered walking into a large sex-positive store in a major city and asking to speak to a counselor about other appliances? The sex toy industry just MIGHT have something that would work for you in terms of your own enjoyment and possibly some ideas of how you could please the ladies (with two separate toys).
I also wondered about your wife and oral when you mentioned she wanted a divorce. That's one area that I would have pushed for.
There are a lot of other alternative form of expression love and affection that can include sexual stimulation, even if erections or orgasm are not possible for you.
I hope you fin some satisfaction.
PS: Have you considered walking into a large sex-positive store in a major city and asking to speak to a counselor about other appliances? The sex toy industry just MIGHT have something that would work for you in terms of your own enjoyment and possibly some ideas of how you could please the ladies (with two separate toys).
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If I didn't see your name I would have thought you were talking about my story. (As a side note I was a bosun too but aviation bosun) Your situation differs from mine in that my wife didn't leave or divorce me. We are still together although in a strained relationship. I have read so many of the posts where they condem men for watching porn. They don't know what it is like to have a strong libido and not be able to do anything about it. I am able to have an orgasam but with so much work and time I won't put my wife through trying to help. She has turned off her sexual desires and I wish i could. I'm sorry I can't offer any solutions. I've tried all the ones you mentioned and believe me there is no help from doctors. I guess it is just becasue there is nothing they can do to help. Hope you have found some reason for living. As a shrink once told me, don't you want to stick around just to see what the hell happens next?
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OLDBOSUN,
Even though you may have tried the Osbum pump once with disasterous results, may I suggest that now that you've invested in it, that you give it another try or two? Perhaps there's a technique to avoid having such pressure that it hurts you. Perhaps it's how you hold it, or how high you pump it. Ask for more guidance before giving up on it, OK?
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