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I’m a 70 year old widow and went in for a pelvic exam because of possible uterine prolapse but it was my dropped bladder instead. That was a week ago and I still have pain and discomfort. When I stand I feel faint and dizzy and sit down quickly. In the morning I feel so weak I want to go back to bed. In my child-bearing years I remember this same feeling after an exam and thankful to find this chat. I’m wondering if the gloves the doctor wears for the exam have a powder or chemical on them. Or maybe it is simply such a shock to the tissue that the area is bruised. Something is wrong with an exam that is so painful to the most delicate tissue in a woman’s body.
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However, this is where I am going to get real with you. Your views on sexually active women are disgustingly patriarchal and misogynistic. Women that have sex are NOT whores and s**ts- no matter how many times they do it, and with how many people. A person's sexual activity is personal, and just because someone has sex multiple times or with multiple partners does not mean they are less than, or deserving of disease. When I was 18 I had my first pap and std screening, I was not a virgin and hadn't been for 3 years. However at the time I hadn't slept with anyone for well over a year and was just there a precaution/routine check up. I had no stds but did have bacterial vaginitis- which can happen for a number of reasons regardless if a person is a virgin or not...like having a period and using tampons/pads, a ph imbalance, if you are UTI prone, etc... and just because you are not sexually active- does not mean you're "safe" from these possibilities- hence the importance of these exams. Your doctor was right to tell you you couldn't listen to music because a doctor needs to be able to communicate with their patient for not only your knowledge and well being, but for legal reasons. They were right to tell you that you are indeed an adult, and these things are uncomfortable but necessary. They were wrong to be so harsh and aggressive with you and your feelings and for that I am sorry....
However I will be damned if I let someone like you try to make me or anyone else feel less than for having sex, enjoying and exploring their bodies and taking pleasure in a completely natural experience. You need to change your views on sexual activity because it will effect your love life.
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The experience you had was not normal. You should not have been treated that way. I am so sorry for what you had to go through. I honestly had to go through 2 horrible gynecologist to finally find the amazing doctor I have now and surprisingly he is a male. I feel like sometimes female gynecologist can feel like they have vaginas too so they don't have to have sympathy for you and can tell you what to do with your body. It s horrible. I will never go back to a female gynecologist again because my gynecologist Dr. Scott is the most sensitive and caring Gyno I've ever experienced. My mother and grandmother even saw his father before he died. It's important to find a doctor with good bedside manner and cares about YOUR comfort. Especially if this is a huge first for you. But you shouldn't worry about feeling ashamed or dirty. She should be ashamed. Not you. She treated a patient like sh*t and in my opinion is a POS doctor for that! You went through something terrible with her, but it will get better. Do some research and make a few meetings with other doctors. Find someone that you feel comfortable with so your next appointment won't be anything like the last. Just remember you are beautiful and strong and that's what makes you a woman. It will get better.
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