I was smoking weed for about 6 years all day until i went to sleep everyday. I gave up weed for 3 months before and now a year later I have given up again and I am on day 14. The key differences between this time and last time... My anxiety level. Last time my anxiety was through the roof and was going crazy. This time I still have anxiety but in spells and mostly when I wake up. The key differences between this time and last time....

I went to my GP and told her I was suffering from anxiety and she put me on Lexapro 5mg. I a using an E cigarette.. the vaporizor one. I am volunteering. I also have more knowledge about the whole thing because I went so crazy last time so here is my thought process....

The Lexapro because I was out of options and needed something to help keep me calm so I wouldn't relapse again. I use my E cig because the nicotine has calming effects and I still have something to smoke and some substance which really calms me. Excecise releases energy, yoga calms me because I am only thinking about yoga when I do it which calms me because of the breathing and concentration of breathing and action combined. I walk to get rid of that I wanna run down the road feeling when you feel like snapping. I am volunteering so I am doing something that is not obsessing about myself, keeps me busy and I get to meet people who are not in the drug world and have more to talk about then being under the influence of anything. I gave up having casual sex to re establish my relationship with sex as you do not feel good being used and your body rejects sex and you feel depressed bacause you just let someone use you so this increased my self respect which made me feel happier and less likely to relapse. I changed my diet to healthy eating, detox herbal tea, green tea and detox smoothies to rid my body of toxins, helps you feel happier, improves degestion so whe you feel good inside it shows outside and that whole thing makes you feel great too. I am looking into buying a plant this time round too for someting to care for and watch grow so like watching myself grow into the person I want to be which is encouraging to carry on. I am also starting to attend NA meetings again. When you do go it really helps knowing others understand you and people who are sober over a year give you hope and people who are still using or at early stages of recovery remind you of how you don't want to be, this all re enforces your motivation and erases what ever remarks you heard that week such as its all in your head or there's no harm in drink and weed. Finally from research and listening to other addicts and my councilor I know it takes a year for the enxiety to leave and for you to find the new you and for your emotions over sensitivity to go calm. If you know this you can reming yourself of it when you are about to relapse and tell youself you are only pro longing your recovery by going back to day 1. I also signed up for a drugs councilor for extra support and regular urnine tests so I would have to be accuontable for my actions which I found was key this time around. 

Last time I did this I was excercising. I was not on Lexapro, not volunteering and not smoking my E cigarette, was sleeping with men to distract myself. So I am doing everything differently his time and it is going way better than last time. 

I hope this helped someone x