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So here's my story. I'm 25 year old female who just got her nursing degree. I am also an addict. I started drinking and smoking when I was 16. My drinking has hurt everyone in my life loudly, so quitting alcohol isn't so hard for me. What has been really hard is not smoking. I quit smoking pot a month ago, so I could look for a nursing postion. With that said, I picked up the habit of smoking spice. Its like I need to smoke to survive. I can't stop thinking about smoking...anything weed, spice, tobacco. I'm obsessed, when I don't I'm a mess. Diarrhea, anxiety, listless, headache, muscle aches, all this and I'm a nurse. I want to help heal people, but I have found myself in this weak spot time and time again. Its like I need a chemical crutch. I want to be a healthy adult who can be looked up to for aide, but I'm the one in need of help. I need to let this out because I can't talk to anyone about this. The only person that knows I'm smoking spice is my dealer. Years ago I quit speed cold turkey, then heroin cold turkey, then alcohol cold turkey, but smoking is my last frontier. I have no friends, outside of my family, and I can't burden them with this. When I broke up with boyfriends weed, when my parents divorced weed, when I had an abortion weed, when I finally got out of a physically abusive relationship weed. Its like my stress coping skills stopped maturing at 15. I feel blind in my own mind. Wake up feeling like sh*t? Don't want to get up to face the day? Take a few hits, it will soothe those aches and you can go about your way...except it never stops. At some point it has to, but how?

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I know exactly how you feel.  I am also 25 and just finished my degree and I have quit smoking due to needing to find a job.  I totally agree with you that when you start using substances in your teens, you can emotionally develop and grow up under the influence so you do not get to go through the normal stress coping because you have numbed your feelings.  I have been smoking weed every single day since I was 17 years old.  I feel like if I keep smoking then I will get to a point that I won't ever even want to quit.  It is especially difficult because my fiance is 36 years old and he also smokes everyday and he does not want to quit.  Sadly, I think of him as an example of how I do not want to end up.  His emotions and moods are crazy, and I have never seen him go even one day without smoking.  I think the reason that I started smoking in the first place which was to escape and numb my feelings, is now the reason I want to quit.  It has numbed everything for me, even feeling happiness. The biggest issue for me is, it seems like when I have not smoked I get super irritable and angry.  I do not want my moods to be dependent on a drug any longer.  I want to learn how to regulate my moods and emotions on my own.  It has been a couple of days and I haven't smoked anything.  I definitely do not feel well, but I also know that I do not want to throw away everything I've worked for in school.  A lot of pot heads will say "oh, you can just take someone elses' pee," but you have no way of knowing what type of test an employer is going to use.  They do hair tests and mouth tests too.  I wish for you the clarity and strength you need to be able to quit smoking.

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i hope your battle is going well, it is difficult to stop, but things get better, you smell better, you're not paranoid about getting caught, and you're healthier. Stopping is the best thing, but coping is the next challenge. Perhaps the best way to handle it is to put healthy things into your system, and create a relaxing hobby of something maybe like yoga or jogging, even sex or cooking is relaxing *blush* and as for support, finding a religion if you don't have one or going to a therapist may help
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An AA program (of some sort & DEF god's help) got my sister to quit. She also has her last addiction, cigarettes, and she's 45 years old. Maybe you have an addictive personality and need/want to speak to someone. We all have our share of addictions in one form or another. There is something you can 'buy on line' that you add to your pee and it cleans it of pot...I only heard of it - I wouldn't need that for my job. I know what would change it all for you but you will only know this to be true, if you try it. The answer is GOD/Jesus - learning about who 'we' really are,
not what our own minds say we are. We can overcome, but our view of ourselves suck. Find a teaching 'christian based' church. We have lost sight of what our thinking ought to be. I don't preach I am spreading truth. Be well!! Christine
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I believe that TCH is a non-addicting substance but Nicotine is. smoking them together gives off a addicting hi only with cigarettes. You seem to be addicted to a THC and a Nicotine combination. Spice is another addicting substance so i would stay away from that.    

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