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i'm 19 i'll be 20 in march i live with my parents. i started these things it will be 2 years ago at the end of ths coming september i had endometriosis, polycystic ovaries, pelvic congestion, and Chron's i kno it blew. i had never in my life taken a pill until i was 18 after my first endo surgery i took the perscribed pain meds after then none bc they made me feel uh and sick. about 3 months after surgery i started having endo pain again. back 2 O.B he said scar tissue in uterus could be back some already he just kept perscribing pill apparently perc 10's 120 to be exact i was so sick of being told take ths i was screw it never took them actually a friend who stayed the night stole the whole bottle nobody though anything about it bc i had no clue wht they were parents didn't really ether i look back and think now WOW i had no clue ha. anyways after few more miserable months i was so sick of being sick female organs were screwed i felt hopeless i met ths girl whom my boyfriend warned me 2 stay away from only come 2 find out they had hooked up. i went 2 a party with her one night everyone else drank i didn't they smoked weed i didn't i said f it i want a way 2 have fun she said hey u have those pills in ur purse take one.....(doc had perscribed tab 10's bc i said i never took percs made me feel weird) i took one 35 45 mins later i was feeling weird but better outgoing after past sick part i was talking laughing alert somewht ths went on for a while one night my boyfriend and i got back together i stopped taking them i went 2 bed i couldn't sleep u see where ths is going the kicking the arms flaying about. crying didn't have a clue why tht O.B moved never lectured me about addiction or i never really listened bc i never took them until tht night i was fed up. FAST FORWARD i took 4 tab 10's at a time in one dose and 2-3 hours later 4 more tht went on for seemed like a year then i had dental surgery tolrence was 2 high was so doped up from the gas and crying i got 20 yellow tabs from dentist by time i was recovered i was only taking 1 and half 10's at a time been on 1 and half for half a year now. about 4 tens a day maybe 3 i added up started crying i spent 1600 dollars a month on them bc their 12 to 13 a pill here (i kno right)! i took my last 2 of 7.5's at 1:00 a.m 40 mins ago i'm so scared i've drained my family as much as i can and myself and i have liver and kidney problems now so i told my mama i was fixing 2 detox from a hormone they had me on with an opioid in it (idk why) she knos but has no idea about drugs she doesn't even drink no one here does. my estranged father in an alcholic tthts why i don't really but i ran out a yr ago couldn't find any for 2 days it was hell then found them someone tell me IF IT GETS EASIER THE WITHDRAWLS BC THE MENTAL WORRY MAKES ME I KNO THS IS SCARY AND MESSED UP BUT ALMOST NOT WANT 2 LIVE HELP ME TELL ME WHT 2 DO HOW LONG THS WILL LAST FOR NO SLEEP RLS AND FLU SYMPT. THE LIVER AND KIDNEY PROBLEMS THS COULD KILL ME I NEED 2 STOP TELL ME HOW LONG WHT 2 DO? I DON'T WANT 2 DIE BY THS DRUG OR TAKE MY OWN LIFE I SHUTTER AT THE THOUGHT. i have no imsurance lost it whn i turned 19 rehab is out i can pay a 75 dollar office fee 2 go 2 doc/nurse prac. should i tell them i'm addicted and i need help with detox bc everyone is talking about KLINOPHIN OR WHTEVER and i need something i can't buy anything amymore i asked mama 2 cut off my resources GOD HELP PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS AND PRAYERS -M-


Someone tell me it's worth living threw light at the end of tht tunnel ride tht it won't be horrible forever i want 2 live i just have 2 make the choice 2 someone give me reassurance please!