Topic title says it all really. I'm sure that the problem is psychological, but I'm still unsure how to proceed;
- The problem started just over a month ago. I tried to masturbate shortly after having had a nocturnal emission. This, of course, didn't work.
- I still get erections when I'm not planning to try to masturbate. However...
- When I AM planning to masturbate, I never get good erections now. And if I do try to do it I loose my erection before I can ejaculate, which just makes me feel even worse.
The result of all this is that I now feel sexual tension and frustration all the time, and I often feel despressed when I'm not preoccupied with anything. I visited my doctor a few weeks ago, but that proved to be a waste of time. What should I do?
- The problem started just over a month ago. I tried to masturbate shortly after having had a nocturnal emission. This, of course, didn't work.
- I still get erections when I'm not planning to try to masturbate. However...
- When I AM planning to masturbate, I never get good erections now. And if I do try to do it I loose my erection before I can ejaculate, which just makes me feel even worse.
The result of all this is that I now feel sexual tension and frustration all the time, and I often feel despressed when I'm not preoccupied with anything. I visited my doctor a few weeks ago, but that proved to be a waste of time. What should I do?
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Dude, you are putting waaaay too much pressure on yourself! Relax!
Don't make ejaculation the goal of masturbation. If you do that, you're going to make it the goal of intercourse too, so you are literally practicing to be a lousy lover!
The point is to give yourself pleasure, and to make that pleasure last as long as possible. When you learn to do that, orgasms become inevitable, and when they do come, they'll blow your mind.
Don't make ejaculation the goal of masturbation. If you do that, you're going to make it the goal of intercourse too, so you are literally practicing to be a lousy lover!
The point is to give yourself pleasure, and to make that pleasure last as long as possible. When you learn to do that, orgasms become inevitable, and when they do come, they'll blow your mind.
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Its no use - as soon as I so much as think of masturbation by erection disappears. I don't understand; I feel so much sexual tension at the moment that the tension alone would have been enough to give me a good erection a few months ago.
This might seem over-dramatic, but I'm starting to experience subconscious thoughts of suicide. What the hell is happening to me?
This might seem over-dramatic, but I'm starting to experience subconscious thoughts of suicide. What the hell is happening to me?
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Wait, scratch that last comment. I typed that around 5 minutes after a failed attempt :'( .
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If you're thinking about killing yourself, even for a minute, you need to see a therapist. A therapist can also help you identify the source of your anxiety. You're obviously very anxious about sex for some reason, but I can't get a clue what it is from what you've written. I would need to do a through history before I even knew what kinds of questions to ask. If you don't feel comfortable talking about this with your parents, ask them to make an appointment with a therapist.
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I'm 22 and I've experienced all your symptoms: Anxiety, Depression and Impotence for years. Here is how I got rid of it:
Impotence and low libido (sex-drive) are two separate issues with separate causes and solutions. However if your libido (sex-drive) is so low you may not get erections at all which may make you believe you are impotent which is rarely the case in men under 40. Odds are your libido (sex-drive) is very low which can be fixed.
If you're on anti-depressants, make sure it's not an SSRI (most are) which causes decreased sex drive and decreased frequency and quality of erections. Ask your doctor to switch to Wellbutrin (JUST AN EXAMPLE OF A NON SSRI)(feel free to do your research on this before requesting it). Check with any other medications you are on and make sure there are no sexual side-effects. Ask you doctor if there is any relation between your medication and impotence or lack of libito
2nd and most importantly - You've probably heard this your whole life and always ignored it. Eat at least 4 servings of fruit and 3 servings of green veges and additional servings of colored veges EVERYDAY. I never believed this could be the reason, I never ate poorly, but I never ate enough fruits and greens. I was very ignorant about this my whole life. Please, if you are reading this, do not be as ignorant as I was. After completely overhauling my diet and eating 3 servings of fruit a day and 5 servings of greed veges including lots of asparagus, my 10 years of depression, 6 years of progressively diminishing libido and years of anxiety were GONE!
Asparagus particularly has been the best thing for me so far. There is something in asparagus and artichokes (I forget the name but you should find it online - google asparagus and sex drive). Asparagus will increase your sex drive, frequency and quality of erections.
If you eat health everyday, cut the junk out of your diet and eat asparagus regularly, you will notice a difference within less than a week.
Eating healthy is something you have to commit to but you will be surprised to see the results and how it will change your depression, anxiety and lack of sex drive. It will greatly increase your overall quality of life.
Get your testosterone tested. Ask your doctor if that number is normal then research for yourself online and any other way you can and find out for your self if your testosterone is within normal range.
Goodluck!
Impotence and low libido (sex-drive) are two separate issues with separate causes and solutions. However if your libido (sex-drive) is so low you may not get erections at all which may make you believe you are impotent which is rarely the case in men under 40. Odds are your libido (sex-drive) is very low which can be fixed.
If you're on anti-depressants, make sure it's not an SSRI (most are) which causes decreased sex drive and decreased frequency and quality of erections. Ask your doctor to switch to Wellbutrin (JUST AN EXAMPLE OF A NON SSRI)(feel free to do your research on this before requesting it). Check with any other medications you are on and make sure there are no sexual side-effects. Ask you doctor if there is any relation between your medication and impotence or lack of libito
2nd and most importantly - You've probably heard this your whole life and always ignored it. Eat at least 4 servings of fruit and 3 servings of green veges and additional servings of colored veges EVERYDAY. I never believed this could be the reason, I never ate poorly, but I never ate enough fruits and greens. I was very ignorant about this my whole life. Please, if you are reading this, do not be as ignorant as I was. After completely overhauling my diet and eating 3 servings of fruit a day and 5 servings of greed veges including lots of asparagus, my 10 years of depression, 6 years of progressively diminishing libido and years of anxiety were GONE!
Asparagus particularly has been the best thing for me so far. There is something in asparagus and artichokes (I forget the name but you should find it online - google asparagus and sex drive). Asparagus will increase your sex drive, frequency and quality of erections.
If you eat health everyday, cut the junk out of your diet and eat asparagus regularly, you will notice a difference within less than a week.
Eating healthy is something you have to commit to but you will be surprised to see the results and how it will change your depression, anxiety and lack of sex drive. It will greatly increase your overall quality of life.
Get your testosterone tested. Ask your doctor if that number is normal then research for yourself online and any other way you can and find out for your self if your testosterone is within normal range.
Goodluck!
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Hi Guest01!
I'm not a doctor but I can assure that you are not impotent and there's nothing wrong with you. Nobody's perfect and it is perfectly normal to fail every now and then. ED is the REPEATED inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse - experts speak of a minimum of three months. Anyway, you shouldn't worry about any of that. You said that you are able to attain an erection when you're not feeling anxious, so this proves there's nothing organically wrong with you. You are healthy, young and your case is purely psychological.
I'm not an expert but I suffered from sexual performance anxiety for many years and I have a couple of suggestions that might be helpful.
MedStudent87 is absolutely right: a healthy lifestyle is the best way to improve your libido and erections. Get some exercise, eat healthy, don't smoke and don't take any recreational drugs.
I also suggest you do some research on the subject of sexual health. Read books, talk to experts, search the Internet. Sex is not as simple as it may seem and there's a lot about this subject that most people don't know. The more you know about these problems, the less stressful they will be.
I suggest you google 'sexual performance anxiety'. You'll soon find out that performance anxiety is extremely common and easily treatable. Anxiety is, in fact, a perfectly normal biological reaction and there's a good reason why anxiety and sex don't go well together. What happens when you get too anxious? The release of stress hormones constricts peripheral circulation so that blood can get to your vital organs (heart, lungs); the penis is not a vital organ and the last thing you need when you're facing danger (e.g. involved in a fight or escaping a lion) is an erection! This is the infamous 'fight or flight response'. And this is why adrenaline is an erection killer.
Depression and mood disorders can also have a negative impact on your sexual performance. Erections start in the brain and if the brain isn't working properly, sexual problems will occur. To make matters worse, most antidepressants (e.g. SSRIs) can actually worsen ED. There are exceptions, though: MedStudent87 mentioned Wellbutrin; tianeptine (brand name STABLON) is another one. Do not take any of these drugs whitout the supervision of your doctor, though.
Like I said, ED is easily treatable today. If your problems persist, go see a urologist. Even if this is 'just in the head', a urologist can help you. In my case, a visit to a urologist solved all my problems.
I hope this helps, my friend. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!
I'm not a doctor but I can assure that you are not impotent and there's nothing wrong with you. Nobody's perfect and it is perfectly normal to fail every now and then. ED is the REPEATED inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse - experts speak of a minimum of three months. Anyway, you shouldn't worry about any of that. You said that you are able to attain an erection when you're not feeling anxious, so this proves there's nothing organically wrong with you. You are healthy, young and your case is purely psychological.
I'm not an expert but I suffered from sexual performance anxiety for many years and I have a couple of suggestions that might be helpful.
MedStudent87 is absolutely right: a healthy lifestyle is the best way to improve your libido and erections. Get some exercise, eat healthy, don't smoke and don't take any recreational drugs.
I also suggest you do some research on the subject of sexual health. Read books, talk to experts, search the Internet. Sex is not as simple as it may seem and there's a lot about this subject that most people don't know. The more you know about these problems, the less stressful they will be.
I suggest you google 'sexual performance anxiety'. You'll soon find out that performance anxiety is extremely common and easily treatable. Anxiety is, in fact, a perfectly normal biological reaction and there's a good reason why anxiety and sex don't go well together. What happens when you get too anxious? The release of stress hormones constricts peripheral circulation so that blood can get to your vital organs (heart, lungs); the penis is not a vital organ and the last thing you need when you're facing danger (e.g. involved in a fight or escaping a lion) is an erection! This is the infamous 'fight or flight response'. And this is why adrenaline is an erection killer.
Depression and mood disorders can also have a negative impact on your sexual performance. Erections start in the brain and if the brain isn't working properly, sexual problems will occur. To make matters worse, most antidepressants (e.g. SSRIs) can actually worsen ED. There are exceptions, though: MedStudent87 mentioned Wellbutrin; tianeptine (brand name STABLON) is another one. Do not take any of these drugs whitout the supervision of your doctor, though.
Like I said, ED is easily treatable today. If your problems persist, go see a urologist. Even if this is 'just in the head', a urologist can help you. In my case, a visit to a urologist solved all my problems.
I hope this helps, my friend. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!
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