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Are you worried you're having too much sex or masturbating too often, or are you just wondering whether there is such a thing as "too much sex"?

Although having sex or masturbating every day is not physically harmful as long as you are fit and healthy, anyone who is asking themselves whether they are having too much sex is clearly concerned about something. Let's explore that further. 

Could You Be Addicted To Sex?

Do you constantly think about sex? Do you have the uncontrollable urge to engage in sexual activities even when you personally think you should not, and has your high libido made such an impact on your life that it interferes with daily responsibilities? Have attempts to change your sexual behavior failed, despite promises you made yourself?

While hypersexual disorder was not ultimately included in the latest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the DSM-5, it is plain that any activity that preoccupies your mind for much of the day to the detriment of a functional life is problematic

Should this describe you, consider seeking psychotherapy to begin addressing your sex addiction. 

Is Your Partner Unhappy With Your Sex Life?

A high libido can also become a problem in the context of a relationship. Perhaps you are perfectly happy with your high sex drive, but your partner does not want to engage in sexual intercourse as often as you do. 

In this case, you could seek an outlet in masturbation. You could also choose to engage in non-intercourse sexual activities together if your partner is on board. Or you could simply accept that your partner has different needs than you do, and accept that you will be having sex less often than you would ideally like.

I would advise you and your partner to talk about your mismatched libidos so that you are able to understand each other's feelings and desires, and can come to a solution. 

Should your differing sex drives have become a serious obstacle in your relationship, seeking couples counseling or asking a sex therapist for advice may be an avenue you wish to consider. 

Cultural Ideas Surrounding Masturbation

Many people who feel they are engaging in excessive sexual activity are specifically worried that they masturbate too much, rather than being concerned about sex with a partner. While masturbation is increasingly becoming less stigmatized, the cultural idea that all non-procreative sex is sinful is still pervasive. If you experience feelings of shame and guilt regarding masturbation but not sex with a partner, you may be influenced by this idea. 

Medically speaking, masturbation is not harmful as long as it is practiced in hygienic circumstances and does not cause injury. Indeed, the fact that masturbation cannot cause sexually transmitted diseases gives it a certain edge. 

If, however, your religion or worldview teaches that masturbation is sinful or undesirable, it is up to you to consider how your personal opinions about masturbation fit into those of your cultural tradition. You might end up adopting the view that masturbation is a healthy, harmless activity, or you may decide to follow your tradition's teachings on this topic and take steps to avoid masturbation. 

The Bottom Line

Only you can decide whether you are having "too much sex" or not. People who are worried that any activity, including sex, has come to play too large a role in their life should try to cut back on that activity. Generally, committing to engaging in other productive or recreational activities more often helps with that.

Anyone who wishes to stop engaging in an activity or to engage in it less often, but who is unable to control themselves, benefits from therapy. 

 

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