Ok, so here's some background to get started, I'm 16 and my girlfriend is 15. We've been dating almost 4 months and it has been an amazing relationship so far, we are always near eachother and talk about things that only naive "we'll be in love forever" type people can talk about :-) If you are going to try and help me, please read all of the rest of my post.
a little over a week ago, we took eachother's virginity. since then we've had sex twice more, for me it gets better eachtime and it has felt great from the beginning, I know it feels good for her but we're very open about talking to eachother and she's not really getting there. What we do feels good for her and i can tell but it could def. be better and i don't know that she's truly had an orgasm. Or course i feel terrible about this, even if she isn't that worried. What guy wants to be unable to please his girl?
IMPORTANT things to note, we've had some barriers each time, the first time i know hurt a bit for her and so that could take away from the pleasure, the 2nd time she started her period that day and even though i said its fine we'll do it another time well we still did and again, it was good, not great. Today i went over... and she was still getting through her period... so all 3 times there have been other reasons... but i doubt this is all of it. I'm not huge, but not small either, 6 1/2 inches and things feel fairly tight for both of us when i'm inside (but not extremely), but i dont know if pain is from me in general or from the fact that shes had complications. The thing is when i finger her or give her oral she gets into it, breathing hard, squeezes her legs together on me, makes noises, and eventually after a lot of deep exhaling she's like you can stop now. i know it feels good but i've heard girls have different types of orgasms and maybe what i've been doing while fingering and during oral has just been clitoral and that's not as good? I've also heard that a couple of clitoral orgasms before penetration help.
In all honesty, it's not something threatening our relationship and we still are madly in love and have lots of other depth to 'us', but i still want to figure this out for her. What i have been doing (and one time we were rushed which did not help) is i start with kissing, slowly taking off her outer clothes, and then kissing her all over, ears, neck, breasts, mouth, stomach, right above her underwear, thighs etc, then when she's wet some oral and manual stimulation. Another thing i;ve found out, though it isnt necesairily orgasm related lol, is that when i lie naked on her bare back she goes crazy every time our skin presses together, maybe this could help get her in the mood?
One other thing is that when i'm inside sometimes its hard to get an angle comfortable for her and sometimes she wants me to stay still and kind of flex, do girls usually not enjoy the in and out as much? I don't know if it will get better for her perhaps just because the circumstances havent been perfect so far i dunno : /
I have also heard about finding the gspot after other stimulation and having theb est orgasms that way... Please any help with what i should do, if i should worry based on whats gone on so far, etc etc anything would help me so much, no matter how little. What i can do, techniques, timing, how to get her mentaly into things (she actually seems to have no problem with this and begs for it when im close to going inside of her but its still not perfect), anything. Thanks so much!
a little over a week ago, we took eachother's virginity. since then we've had sex twice more, for me it gets better eachtime and it has felt great from the beginning, I know it feels good for her but we're very open about talking to eachother and she's not really getting there. What we do feels good for her and i can tell but it could def. be better and i don't know that she's truly had an orgasm. Or course i feel terrible about this, even if she isn't that worried. What guy wants to be unable to please his girl?
IMPORTANT things to note, we've had some barriers each time, the first time i know hurt a bit for her and so that could take away from the pleasure, the 2nd time she started her period that day and even though i said its fine we'll do it another time well we still did and again, it was good, not great. Today i went over... and she was still getting through her period... so all 3 times there have been other reasons... but i doubt this is all of it. I'm not huge, but not small either, 6 1/2 inches and things feel fairly tight for both of us when i'm inside (but not extremely), but i dont know if pain is from me in general or from the fact that shes had complications. The thing is when i finger her or give her oral she gets into it, breathing hard, squeezes her legs together on me, makes noises, and eventually after a lot of deep exhaling she's like you can stop now. i know it feels good but i've heard girls have different types of orgasms and maybe what i've been doing while fingering and during oral has just been clitoral and that's not as good? I've also heard that a couple of clitoral orgasms before penetration help.
In all honesty, it's not something threatening our relationship and we still are madly in love and have lots of other depth to 'us', but i still want to figure this out for her. What i have been doing (and one time we were rushed which did not help) is i start with kissing, slowly taking off her outer clothes, and then kissing her all over, ears, neck, breasts, mouth, stomach, right above her underwear, thighs etc, then when she's wet some oral and manual stimulation. Another thing i;ve found out, though it isnt necesairily orgasm related lol, is that when i lie naked on her bare back she goes crazy every time our skin presses together, maybe this could help get her in the mood?
One other thing is that when i'm inside sometimes its hard to get an angle comfortable for her and sometimes she wants me to stay still and kind of flex, do girls usually not enjoy the in and out as much? I don't know if it will get better for her perhaps just because the circumstances havent been perfect so far i dunno : /
I have also heard about finding the gspot after other stimulation and having theb est orgasms that way... Please any help with what i should do, if i should worry based on whats gone on so far, etc etc anything would help me so much, no matter how little. What i can do, techniques, timing, how to get her mentaly into things (she actually seems to have no problem with this and begs for it when im close to going inside of her but its still not perfect), anything. Thanks so much!
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Wow, I have mixed feelings about what you wrote.
First, before I get to answering, I need to point out that what you two are doing together in some states and countries can be considered illegal. At age 15, the girl is under age.
Second, I hope and pray that you are using protection. Birth control IS an issue, right from the very start. You may have been fortunate so far, since she's been on her period or close to it, but your luck could run out with the very next attempt.
What a bummer it would be to finally get in the grove, only to discover that now that you can please her, you've gotten her pregnant and are going to be parents at age 16! If you two can truely talk about anything, then you need to be discussing what protection is right for you!
Third, the best authority about how to make her reach orgasm is......
HER! No amount of advice from us is going to make a hill of beans since both of you have just started.
You are to be commended for being sensitive to her pleasure and moods, and reading her body language for how hot her desire is. But you should be asking HER what she wants, what she likes, what she wants to do or NOT do.
This isn't something you can read out of a text book..."Give her two fingered orgasms before you attempt penetration, or else..."
She'll tell you when she's ready and what she wants.
If you're really intersted in a long term relationship with this girl, concentrate more on learning what pleases her OUTSIDE the bed. What does she like, how does she feel? What does she want to grow up to be?
Does she have any life plans? How does she feel about working outside the home? Is she going to college? Are you? What about just simple massage? Does she like a deep back rub more than having sex every time you come over? If she is turned on by your laying on her back, then what else can you find that she'd enjoy.
I am concerned that you say you were NOT going to have sex during her peroid "but then we did anyway". Why did that happen? Was it her idea? Did you ask for it? What happened to the idea that you were NOT going to do it that time? How did that get swept away?
Questions, questions, questions.
You may decide to continue your sexual intercourse with this girl, but I urge you both to set down in a neutral setting (coffee shop, library, park bench) and discuss what you feel about starting a baby. Odds are you will unless you both actively practice birth control. Talk about it now, instead of later.
Good luck.
Perhaps others will have other ideas here...
First, before I get to answering, I need to point out that what you two are doing together in some states and countries can be considered illegal. At age 15, the girl is under age.
Second, I hope and pray that you are using protection. Birth control IS an issue, right from the very start. You may have been fortunate so far, since she's been on her period or close to it, but your luck could run out with the very next attempt.
What a bummer it would be to finally get in the grove, only to discover that now that you can please her, you've gotten her pregnant and are going to be parents at age 16! If you two can truely talk about anything, then you need to be discussing what protection is right for you!
Third, the best authority about how to make her reach orgasm is......
HER! No amount of advice from us is going to make a hill of beans since both of you have just started.
You are to be commended for being sensitive to her pleasure and moods, and reading her body language for how hot her desire is. But you should be asking HER what she wants, what she likes, what she wants to do or NOT do.
This isn't something you can read out of a text book..."Give her two fingered orgasms before you attempt penetration, or else..."
She'll tell you when she's ready and what she wants.
If you're really intersted in a long term relationship with this girl, concentrate more on learning what pleases her OUTSIDE the bed. What does she like, how does she feel? What does she want to grow up to be?
Does she have any life plans? How does she feel about working outside the home? Is she going to college? Are you? What about just simple massage? Does she like a deep back rub more than having sex every time you come over? If she is turned on by your laying on her back, then what else can you find that she'd enjoy.
I am concerned that you say you were NOT going to have sex during her peroid "but then we did anyway". Why did that happen? Was it her idea? Did you ask for it? What happened to the idea that you were NOT going to do it that time? How did that get swept away?
Questions, questions, questions.
You may decide to continue your sexual intercourse with this girl, but I urge you both to set down in a neutral setting (coffee shop, library, park bench) and discuss what you feel about starting a baby. Odds are you will unless you both actively practice birth control. Talk about it now, instead of later.
Good luck.
Perhaps others will have other ideas here...
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geez i knew i left something out, we properly use protection EVERY time and don't plan on discontinuing that practice. As for the talks, we have lots of those, that's one of the things I like best about us is that we talk about a lot of diferent things.
Also, the problem with asking her is... I'm not sure SHE knows what she wants, I've asked her and she's not sure how to explain or if she has ever really achieved what she wants by herself and so doesn't know how to get there in the first place.
Also, the problem with asking her is... I'm not sure SHE knows what she wants, I've asked her and she's not sure how to explain or if she has ever really achieved what she wants by herself and so doesn't know how to get there in the first place.
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A few years ago, many women didnt know about orgasm, and it was no big deal.
now every one thinks they are rubbish in bed if they dont bring 15yo to orgasm during intercourse!
I blame the media, and the internet in particular.
sex is hardly ever perfect, but it is natural for a guy to feel he is pushing all the right buttons.
it is a great experience for a guy to bring his gf to her climax, and watch as her vaginal muscles clench rythmically, 6 or 7 times as she has her orgasm.
But it probably wont happen every time, It wont be mindblowing all the time.
communicating and learning slowly as time goes by is fine.
but you need some love and romance as well as a mechanical manipulation of a girls sexual organs until she is "forced" to climax by the biological stimulation of her sexual parts.
now every one thinks they are rubbish in bed if they dont bring 15yo to orgasm during intercourse!
I blame the media, and the internet in particular.
sex is hardly ever perfect, but it is natural for a guy to feel he is pushing all the right buttons.
it is a great experience for a guy to bring his gf to her climax, and watch as her vaginal muscles clench rythmically, 6 or 7 times as she has her orgasm.
But it probably wont happen every time, It wont be mindblowing all the time.
communicating and learning slowly as time goes by is fine.
but you need some love and romance as well as a mechanical manipulation of a girls sexual organs until she is "forced" to climax by the biological stimulation of her sexual parts.
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thanks. and I forgot to mention something very important 1) we always use condoms and she is on the pill, and plan to continue those habits, and 2) we have a very emotionally close relationship as well and discuss many of the things the first poster was concerned about. Thank you both for your feedback, I'll see what others have to say as well ; )
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Many years ago, when I first started sleeping with the woman who eventually became my wife, we experimented a bit, getting it down right so that we would both orgasm during sex.
Initially, one or the other would come and the other partner would not. That was not a big deal for us, as the next time around, the other one would.
As we learned what worked for us, what positions, how long, how fast, how light, etc., we read various books that were out at the time, giving advice and teaching about sex: "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex", "The Joy of Sex", "The Art of Loving", just to name a few.
One of them suggested the man sitting cross legged between his woman's legs, so that he could use both hands on her pelvis, abdomen and genitals... with a good view of what was happening and what changed. One afternoon, when we started having sex, i shifted into this position and followed the instructions in the book. Made sure she was aroused, used light strokes, plenty of lubrication, inserted one or two fingers, made the "come here" motion, included the clit... the whole nine yards.
After a long while of this, she came and with my fingers still inside of her, I could feel the contractions quite clearly, strongly and slowing. When she was done and relaxed, she asked "Well, did you learn anything?"
I certainly did.
She usually climaxs every time now, and it's been almost 30 years now!
You might try that.
Initially, one or the other would come and the other partner would not. That was not a big deal for us, as the next time around, the other one would.
As we learned what worked for us, what positions, how long, how fast, how light, etc., we read various books that were out at the time, giving advice and teaching about sex: "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex", "The Joy of Sex", "The Art of Loving", just to name a few.
One of them suggested the man sitting cross legged between his woman's legs, so that he could use both hands on her pelvis, abdomen and genitals... with a good view of what was happening and what changed. One afternoon, when we started having sex, i shifted into this position and followed the instructions in the book. Made sure she was aroused, used light strokes, plenty of lubrication, inserted one or two fingers, made the "come here" motion, included the clit... the whole nine yards.
After a long while of this, she came and with my fingers still inside of her, I could feel the contractions quite clearly, strongly and slowing. When she was done and relaxed, she asked "Well, did you learn anything?"
I certainly did.
She usually climaxs every time now, and it's been almost 30 years now!
You might try that.
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If You wanna get better atoral sex just write the abc's on her clitoris and if she does not come by the time get to Z start over
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you are both to young to be haveing sex any way man but as i no what it is like to start b4 the right age i gess that all i can say is m8t just keep going down on her and mack her cum as much as you can b4 you go and get on top ov her and this should mack her wont you that lil bit more well in same cases any way and when you do get down to doing the deed start off slow and deep work herr up to the point were she is about to cum then when she has done this again you 2 can try more thing such as reves cow girl and doggy and other was
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I know this may not be helpful but what i do is make her fell good not just by sex...
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THE OTHER THING COULD BE THAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG BECAUSE YOURE STILL YOUNG 15 AND 14COME ON WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX
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