Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

Is The Dutch Libido Pill A Savior Or A Pest?

by — Last updated: 2013-12-19 in Sexual Health

Table of Contents

If the FDA approves phase three trials, a Dutch pill that increases sexual desire in women could soon be on the market. What exactly does the pill do, and would it help or harm women?

The Dutch press was full of articles about the libido pill, and an article in a leading newspaper with the headline "Sexual-desire pill for women coming soon" was quickly the most read news item on its website. One cartoon even joked: "Full-circle: libido pill's side effect is a headache, so not tonight honey".


Who wouldn't be interested in the topic, really? Many couples struggle with Differing sex drives in partners and it's often the woman who wants sex less often.

Sure, a libido pill could be a great option for women who are genuinely bothered by their lack of libido or who would love to be intimate with their partner more often but are held back by past traumas. 

Some — like the famous Dutch sexologist Goedele Lienkens — welcome the female libido pill with open arms. She said the pill will likely "save many relationships". Would it, though? I can certainly see the possibility that men would quickly say their partners have a medical problem if they want to have sex more often. A libido pill could simply turn into a weapon for a bullying husband or boyfriend.

"Just pop a pill, darling" might just become the modern version of the idea that it's a wife's duty to satisfy her husband. Just how does increased sexual pressure save relationships? I'm not sure. 

There are many reasons a woman wants less sex than her partner, and a low libido isn't necessarily a medical problem that needs fixing. Whatever happened to mutual respect between partners? Negotiation is an integral part of all relationships, that much is true. You may just want to give in and spend the holidays with your in laws when you really don't want to, or agree to buy the car your partner wants.

But isn't sex something too personal, too intimate, to be negotiated? Why should you take a pill to make your husband happy? Why shouldn't your husband just accept that you don't want to do it as often as he does?

I should also say that I think a desire to help women with past sexual trauma feel normal about their sexuality is a noble thing. You can't really get much closer to oversimplifying things than thinking a pill would solve these women's problems though. These women need to address the underlying issues they are struggling with though reputable therapy like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, not in the least because sexual trauma affects much more than a person's sex life. 

Read More: Top Reasons for Low Libido: Sex Drive Killers

I'm one of these women. Childhood sexual abuse has had an impact on my sex life. I've tried to "cure" that with alcohol in the past, something that is arguably similar to taking a pill. That allowed me to be intimate with my husband without feeling bad about it at that point, but it didn't fix the anger, anxiety and bitterness that ruled my life — those stayed until I found an excellent therapist and did lots of hard work with her over a long period of time.

Could a female libido pill help some women? Yes, absolutely, if they are the ones that want to benefit from such a product. It will never, however, be a magic pill that makes nasty relationships perfect or cures women from traumas.