Why You're Not in the Mood For Sex: 10 Libido Killers | Sexual Health slideshows | Family Health center

Stress and Depression

Being stressed out is or being depressed can significantly affect your performances, be it academically, intellectually, socially and even sexually. Stress can come from different sources: at your work place, as a result of family issues, secondary to financial hardship, and even as a consequence of physical sickness. The direct physiological explanation of this occurrence is the fact that cortisol secretion inhibits the release of gonadal (sex) hormones, thus decreasing our libido. In depression however, because the entire nervous system is put under low energy (or stimulation) level, our sex drive (just as other things we used to enjoy) is significantly decreased.

Sources & Links

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Photo courtesy of trizoultro by Flickr : www.flickr.com/photos/theembermonths/7793353006/
www.divinecaroline.com/self/wellness/top-ten-sex-drive-killers
http://healthmeup.com/hot-list-healthy-living/top-10-sex-drive-killers/8175
http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/843809/biggest-sex-drive-killers
http://www.edguider.com/edblog/2010/01/23/what-are-the-top-10-libido-killers-for-men/

Alcohol

Alcohol consumption is kind of a tricky one here. In fact, alcohol could have mixed effects on one sex drive. Initially, alcohol can stimulate and increase one’s desire to have sex. This is caused by the feeling of relaxation and dis-inhibition that people experience after alcohol consumption. However, long term alcohol use could have detrimental effects on your sexual desire. Chronic alcoholism could cause poor performance and impotence. So even though you might want to “give it a kick” every now and then before spending that special moment with your loved one, make sure that alcohol consumption does not become a habit for your sexual performance enhancement.

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Photo courtesy of Rev. Xanatos Satanicos by Flickr : www.flickr.com/photos/clintjcl/2496956385/
www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/loss-of-libido-in-men?page=2

Not Having Enough Time for Sex

Yes, this might sound like a “taboo” or even ridiculous, but indeed not making time for sex is at the top of the list of libido killers. We tend to think – and we are not wrong about that – that once we are in a relationship, having sex comes more frequently and more naturally. It is indeed true. However, when our daily lives come in the midst of everything, it is “oh-so” easy to get swamped in our routines that we forget to make time for each other, especially when both partners have very demanding careers. This is one of the most common causes of breakups; not making time for each other. And the less time we spend with our partner, the more the attraction fades away, and it might become challenging to rekindle the flame for sexual intercourse.

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Feeling Tired

Physical and mental exhaustion can also have a negative effect on our desire for sex. Imagine coming home after a long and stressful day at work. What is the first thing you would like to do? Slide in your bed and surrender it all to Morpheus! Nobody would actually want to involve in another type of strenuous activity (like sex, which requires a great deal of physical effort); not even the most aroused man! So here again, the best thing to do would be to get some rest, and maybe when you get up – who knows – you might feel like experiencing that pleasure again!

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Relationship Problems

Sometimes, the reason why couples would not feel for sex is because of current relationship problems and this for several reasons. First and foremost, relationship problems are a significant cause of stress, and stress on its own is the most common cause of poor libido. So here you are, with your direct cause-effect relationship. Additionally, when couples fight, they feel more repelled to each other (which is natural for every human by the way). Because of that, they are less attracted to the other person, which again further decreases their desire to have sex. This is even more important for women, as they are driven by emotional closeness, which plays a critical role in developing passion during the intercourse.

Sources & Links

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Photo courtesy of Ed Yourdon by Flickr : www.flickr.com/photos/yourdon/6563855923/
www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_100/129_love_secrets.html
http://www.divinecaroline.com/self/wellness/top-ten-sex-drive-killers

Medications

When you are on some medications, you might find that your interest in sex is lesser than it normally is. Examples of such medications include antihypertensive, anti-diabetic, anti-depressant, anti-histaminic and anti-HIV drugs. This is related to the physiology of the drugs and the effects that they have on our body hormones and neuro-regulators. Ironically, people on oral contraceptives “could” also experiment decreased libido. Reports have also shown that patients undergoing chemotherapy could experience decreased libido. In this case, the effects on sexual desire could be attributed to both hormonal imbalances and to depression secondary to the physically and emotionally demanding treatment.

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Low Self Esteem

If one of the partner has some psychological hindrance, this could significantly impact his/her sexual desire. As a matter of fact, the way we look at ourselves and see ourselves determines how well we appreciate ourselves. If we do not see ourselves as a treasure or something worth it, or if your partner feels insecure about a part of his/her body, that anxiety is very likely to remain and diminish one’s libido. We all have a desire to be wanted, to feel attractive, to feel appreciated. And this plays in all aspects of our lives, be it professionally, socially or at a personal levels, within our relationships.

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Photo courtesy of Nicolas Hoizey by Flickr : www.flickr.com/photos/nicolas-hoizey/64294322/
www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_100/129_love_secrets.html

Obesity

Being obese can also have a significant toll on our sex life. The first mechanism is through an altered body image and self-esteem. Being overweight comes with a lot of emotional burdens, which in part are attributable to the social stigma that also comes with it. In addition, there are physiological processes that come in play, such as sexual hormones imbalance. The obese partner might also find it difficult to keep up with his/her sex life, as sexual intercourses could be particularly challenging. Researches have shown that weight loss, regular exercise and a healthy diet could all positively impact someone’s body self-image, which in turn could improve their sex drive.

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Photo courtesy of Tony Alter by Flickr : www.flickr.com/photos/78428166@N00/3829063385/
www.divinecaroline.com/self/wellness/top-ten-sex-drive-killers
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/sex-and-weight

Erectile dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction (also known as male impotence) is also a very common cause of decreased libido in men. In erectile dysfunction, a man can no longer maintain an erection long enough to achieve sexual intercourse. Those who suffer from it are generally in their 40s. This is due to the fact that around that age, the blood vessels that supply the penis get narrow (either due to cholesterol accumulation, or due to hypertension. Because of that, vasodilation cannot occur to its maximum, and not enough blood can flow through the penis for an effective erection. If erectile dysfunction is left untreated, the male partner might start to feel depressed, which in turn could lead to decrease sex drive.

Sources & Links

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Photo courtesy of davidcwong888 by Flickr : www.flickr.com/photos/davidcwong/9153183255/
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/DS00162 http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/

Menopause

When a woman reaches the pearl age (age of menopause), her desire for sexual intercourse might be negatively affected. The primary reason for this is the loss of estrogen and testosterone during that physiological phase. Because of the expiration of the follicles in reserve at menopause, less and less estrogen is produced, leading to all the symptoms that women experience during menopause (hot flashes, vaginal dryness) and in addition to all of those, decreased in libido. Alongside with that, because of the vaginal dryness that comes with menopause, sexual intercourses could become very painful, which can make the woman completely withdraw from it, thus decreasing her sex drive at long term. But having all these signs is not the end of the world. Instead, knowing them beforehand gives you a head start in how to deal with them and enjoy a better sex life.