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Hey everyone. I had intercourse three years ago for the first time. I was 19 and this boy that I really liked wanted just to have sex with me. After this he dumped me. Now, it's been a three years after this but I still have this blockage when it comes to boys. Four months ago I started to hang out with some beautiful boy and he is really good to me. I can see that he cares. But I am the problem, probably because of my past. Whenever we want to have a sex, I notice that my sex drive is very low after I started having panic attacks. And whenever I think about sex I have panic attacks. What to do? Is this normal?

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It is possible and I believe that you are not the only one in the world who is dealing with those problems. You should know that your sex drive is related to a lot of different factors, but anxiety and stress are most certainly involved. If you want to learn to overcome your anxiety, you need to make sure that you're targeting all of your symptoms, not just your libido. There are certain things that can cause low libido and because of it you can have very low sex drive. In your case, you are hurt but if you ask me, it takes very long. It’s been a three years, girl, since that, we all were hurt somehow.

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Hi there,

Look, it can be hard but the best person who can help you about this is the guy who you are going to sleep with. I had the same problem with the girl I've met recently. She has a problem with her confidence, she is beautiful but a lot of people told her that she isn't so she is embarrassed when it comes to getting naked with someone. But you see, the guy plays a huge role here. I was so nice to her and to her body that when she saw how much I like her and her body, she started to love it herself and it made it easier for her a lot.

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A person who you are dating can really help a lot. I mean, if you are having those kind of problems and he isn't up for helping you overcome this, then you are probably not going to get better. It's a kind of a more or less normal thing to occur to people who are suffering from anxiety, depression, or panic attacks. You are probably going to find a lot of people here who had or have the same issue as you do so they can give you the best advice when it comes to overcoming this. You are going to make it out of this.
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That's a big problem right there. It is going to bring you a lot of trouble when it comes down to relationship if you don't get over it. My advice is that you try having sex with this guy, but you need to do it very slowly. If you do it really, really slowly and gently, you might avoid having a panic attack and your libido might get a bit better. If it doesn't work for the first time, don't quit, keep trying, it should be better eventually. The only thing is if this guy is willing to wait for you until you sort things out.

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Hi Panic Affair,

I had the same problem as the one that you are having now and I have to say that these guys are right. Your partner really needs to be patient with you here. Not just patient, he needs to help. He needs to understand. The first guy I was with couldn't understand, all that he cared about was getting laid. Well, that only helped him to not have sex with me. The next guy really made it happen for me, he helped me fight these panic attacks, he is responsible for my recovery. We are dating even today, after 2 years.
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Hey guys. So I have tried to listen some of your advice but it was not helpful to me. I just don't have a will to have any kind of contact and this boy told me that he is going to dump me forever if we don't talk and if I don't tell him what is my problem exactly. Also you are right. I have problem with my confidence and I don't consider myself as ugly girl. On contrary. But I just can't help myself. I don't know, maybe I should seek for some immediate help from someone who is an expert, I don't know. But noting is helpful to me...Any other advice? Please?

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Look there Panic Affair, I believe that it is very important to seek for the person who can understand that you are in problem. So maybe it is really harsh to tell, but maybe he is not the right guy for you. Maybe he is making you nervous and maybe he is the reason why you are having the panic attacks. You told us that you are not an ugly girl. And yes, you should seek for some help because of you, not because of him. You are having problem...and you need to find the best way to cure it. Good luck.

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Hello everyone. Panic, I understand what you going through because I have been in the same situation. My sex drive was also very low and my ex - boyfriend dumped me because of it. I tried to explain to him that I have some problems and that I am not feeling physical good but he didn't believe me. He made me feel even worse than ever. But almost two years after this, this amazing guy showed up. I met him at one wedding celebration and he accepted me the way I was. And he cured me...

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