I am addicted to exhibitionist masturbation. Ever since I was a teen, I've had the fantasy of having someone watch me. Now that I'm older I have acted on it several times and I can't find any downfall from it accept that the thoughts about it are obsessive.
The thing is that whenever I have found the courage to ask someone to indulge me, it has been as pleasurable as I fantasize it will be and that only encourages me to do it again.
But my drive to seek out men to watch is taking up most of my daytime thoughts. As a result I am neglecting my responsibilities to my family and friends. I don't sleep well as the thoughts pervade even my dreams and I wake from them restless and obsessing again.
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