I am confused about my boyfriend's (48yrs old) behaviour. We have been together about 10 yrs. He only wants sex 2-3 times a month, usually at my urging. However, when we have a party/friends visiting he likes to flash his penis around - depending on the type of friends. He only gets turned on when there are friends/people around. He likes to feel me up and hopes someone is watching. He is always naked at home and when people visit, wears the bare minimum, usually something that makes it easy for him to flash, like a sarong.
When I point out his behaviour he gets angry and says I make things up. He twists things like telling me he heard his two friends discussing how one of them would like to have sex with me. An absolute lie and I told him so. I know he was trying to sidetrack me from his own behaviour. The next day he confessed he lied.
I also discovered he has been an internet porn addict since I met him. He says he has stopped, for about two years now, but whether to believe him or not is another story. Seems like he liked group sex and lesbian pictures. Tried to convince me about 3yrs ago to go to a swingers club...not something I can do. I believe he is faithful (we live and work together...very seldom apart) but I cannot understand his wanting to be naked around people. Our friends don't seem to mind, I think they are used to him by now. Is this something I should seriously worry about? Or should I have more parties and enjoy the sex that follows? Like I said...confused!
When I point out his behaviour he gets angry and says I make things up. He twists things like telling me he heard his two friends discussing how one of them would like to have sex with me. An absolute lie and I told him so. I know he was trying to sidetrack me from his own behaviour. The next day he confessed he lied.
I also discovered he has been an internet porn addict since I met him. He says he has stopped, for about two years now, but whether to believe him or not is another story. Seems like he liked group sex and lesbian pictures. Tried to convince me about 3yrs ago to go to a swingers club...not something I can do. I believe he is faithful (we live and work together...very seldom apart) but I cannot understand his wanting to be naked around people. Our friends don't seem to mind, I think they are used to him by now. Is this something I should seriously worry about? Or should I have more parties and enjoy the sex that follows? Like I said...confused!
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Many sex therapists and counselers say that exhibitionist tendencies usually stem from a very poor self esteem. This most likely has NOTHING to do with you, just his own problems. Couples therapy might provide some insights and help you both get back on track.
Good luck.
Good luck.
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The problem with counselers and therapists is that they usually have more mental issues than the people they are counceling. Many of them have control issues pursue their professional field to fulfill their control needs. Therapists want to feel good about themselves, so they try to convince their paitients that they are abnormal, when it is actually the therepist with the issues.
What you need to understand is that "Normal" is defined only by what you and your husband feel comfortable with. Nobody else, especially a therapist, can tell you how you are suppose to feel and act. If you would enjoy participating with yourt] husband , then you don't need any body elses approval. Nothing is too extreme to be "normal" if both of you are into it and enjoy it. If you have a problem with something your husband does, then you don't need a therapist to help you justify your feelings. If you think it is not right, then it is not "normal" for you.
What you need to understand is that "Normal" is defined only by what you and your husband feel comfortable with. Nobody else, especially a therapist, can tell you how you are suppose to feel and act. If you would enjoy participating with yourt] husband , then you don't need any body elses approval. Nothing is too extreme to be "normal" if both of you are into it and enjoy it. If you have a problem with something your husband does, then you don't need a therapist to help you justify your feelings. If you think it is not right, then it is not "normal" for you.
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