I just had the most embarrassing moment of my life the other night. I met this girl, and things took off rather quickly. I want her so bad but when the moment came and, the whole time I had been into it, I just completely lost it. This has never happened to me before. Two days later, and I feel like the biggest loser in the world. I just can't get over it. I'm seeing her later this week and just the thought of messing up again is getting to my head real badly. help!!
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I've been having the same problem but lucky I've found the reason as to y I sometimes can't get hard. As it's mentioned quite a few times it's all anxiety. Last time I tried having sex was about a week ago and everything between me and this girl was fine I would get erections all the time she's very attractive. But the firs time were actually alone anxiety kicks in. Because I want it so bad the fear of being anything but good is what causes the problem. As a guy it's very hard to just understand. I feel angry because I subconsciously blow it out of porportion. I start to think of mysf as not being a man and thus I come up with idiotic ideas to mentally compensate for not getting hard. Blaming her for instance. BUT! I now know the real reason. It's all ANXIETY! It happend to me once before when I was younger and the fear of it happening again is what caused it the second time and then a 3rd n so forth. Hers the thing thought. I have this girl who I Regularly have sex with and she loves it. It's strictly sexual and I've never had this problem with her. Not once. There's no anxiety, I'm in control and she loves it. And my performance couldn't be better( according to her) lol. Again I repeat it's all anxiety and also I do agree with the temperature statement. FELLAS just gotta check your ego. Not to sound krazy but have a talk with yourself. Seriously think about what's wrong and how you can fix it. Remember it's only a mental barrier , don't let it get to you. Your woman will pick up on this. Good luck
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its not something to break up with him over by the way...unless your not attracted to him because he cant get hard...you thinking like that just makes the situation worse..and makes him insecure with you and himself
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He could be having performance anxiety but trying to act cool. Or he could be experiencing the start of ED or erectile dysfunction. Ask him to get help or else....
Seriously, he could be feeling inferior too and are not too scared to take action to correct this problem. Talk to him and try to understand his plight and then convince him to look for help:)
Seriously, he could be feeling inferior too and are not too scared to take action to correct this problem. Talk to him and try to understand his plight and then convince him to look for help:)
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You didn't mentioned his age any how these problems are very common now a days in boys. They mustrabate too much and when it comes in real they fails totally. I agree with the views provided here like he became nervous or anxiety. But I have a detailed information about erectile dysfunction and can ***this post is edited by
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Based on experience, the only time I had a problem was when there were unresolved issues and arguements between myself the the woman. Basically, after ten years of marriage, I realized I just wasn't in to her, she didn't turn me on and it was a personality issue. The next woman I was with (for a year) I had no problems.
I never had a problem before that. When I was in my 30s, a female friend confided in me that her boyfriend didn't like sex and rarely approached her, and they had been living together for four years. I told her that some men, very rarely, have a low sex drive, but she needed to look at their relationship. Guys are very sensitive down there to unresolved arguments and issues.
Basically, as long as I got along with the woman, sex was great.
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How long have you been going together?
Assuming there are no relationship/personality problems, the solution is to only try foreplay for about 30 - 45 minutes, then stop. Do this every night for a week, or if you see each other only a few times a week, then extend this period out to maybe three weeks. Do not do alow him to try to insert. Do not masterbate him.
He should not masterbate during this period. After this period, he should be quite ready to go and remain hard. For some men, putting on a condom takes all the spontenaity out of sex. It's like someone put your penis in ice water. The other option is to go on the pill.
He may think your crazy, but it worked with other people. I spent some time as a couples therapist and I've heard it all. Also took a course on sex therapy. There's other ideas if you need them.
Rob
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You don't say how old you are. If there are no unresolved relationship/emotional issues involved that can have a huge impact on having an erection, then it sounds like ED. He needs to see his GP or an urologist.
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i have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 months and we have just started being sexual active. now he was my first but i wasnt hes. now we have had a sex a couple times. but most of the time he cant get it up or he gets it up and when its time to have sex its gone. and then last night he had a wet dream and he came a lot. i know its not me cause he had this problem with hes ex. i just dont know what to do. i am very worried cause he says sometimes he cant feel it down there. and i think he should see a doctor but idk. so i am right there with you. guy have an advice?? please help me out.
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haveing the same problem,we have been to geather 5 years we have a little girl,since i was 7 months gone with her we havent had a propper sexy life,little girl is now 4 year old. this makes me feal like total sh*t all the time because i can not be close to him any more,well not as close as we were. i do feal like this will split us up. when even i try talk to him he says that its me been silly and that were fine. is it me or are some men thick.he can not see what this is doing to us. we end up fighting when ever we talk. its propper sh*t..
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I am a male and have the same issue.
I also have a circulation issue, thus no blood flow below my hips. At times I do get an erection, but most of the time it is Semi-Rigid.
I may not be an anxiety issue, could be medical.
I see my Doc on Tuesday.
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Oh, I've had the same issue about a week ago. Me & my boyfriend were having sex for the first time, and we kissed and so about half an our, but when we got naked he couldn't get it hard. I started to panic, because I was feeling strange in some way, I was thinking that it was because of me. But he stood up and said, that he knew that he shouldn't drink after two time having trained. And he was very angry of himself he couldn't believe that that is happening to him. He just apologized a lot, and I was like, it's ok, next time, you know. But since than, we rarely talk. I know that it's not my fault. But he is nervous about it anyway, I'm just hoping that, that moment is not gonna ruin our relationship. I'll write.
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your are all stupid. If he is not getting hard just ignore it and go on with fore play and then get sleepy if he does not act. then he does not find you attractive!
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