In the last few months or so when my boyfriend and I have sex, I haven't been able to cum. I still enjoy it, but he always thinks its his fault and that he's not good enough. What can I do to relax more and let my body do this, is there something he can do to help me too :'( ?
Also he likes rubbing my clit continuously but I don't get pleasure out of it, I find it uncomfortable when he just keeps going, is that normal for me to feel like that?
Also he likes rubbing my clit continuously but I don't get pleasure out of it, I find it uncomfortable when he just keeps going, is that normal for me to feel like that?
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Wow that's exactly what I'm going through. I am 20 and I asked my friend girls about it and they said it can be combination of things: stress, depression, emotional detachment or trust issues. I dunno..I still want to know why I can't cum. :-(
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Yea I think you're right, it could be some trust issues I'm having with him. Because at this stage I'm trying to lose some weight and I feel a lot of pressure from him to do it. And I think maybe the trust comes in to that, :$ whereas if he was more accepting maybe I would feel a little more comfortable. He can make me feel a bit stressed at times too, so thanks I think those could be some reasons. I'm 21 by the way.
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That would be exactly why. You are not going to cum if you are not comfortable with yourself or him.
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I cant cum anymore I dont trust my boyfriend and I am not the same anymore around him pretty much all the time because he cheated on me and i always think about it :-( its so hard to leave him
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Hey, im a dude...And im a very experienced one. Look, if you dont want him to rub you, tell him not to. The more you point him to what YOU want him to do, the more it will please you. Take charge of what he does to you, as I said tell him what you want done to you. Otherwise he is just gonna keep going not knowing what you want and only taking the guesses that he think's you want. And an uninformed lover is a bad one.
Also, dont let him make you feel pressured to lose any weight or anything. If your going to do it, do it for yourself. If he does pressure you and what not, you should either tell him to stop pressuring you, or leave. Because its just gonna keep happening until you let him know. Also sometimes us guys dont even know that you are feeling pressured. So once again, let him know.
Now, try getting him to give you a massage before, rub your back, put on some soft music, or some kind of music you like, and just relax. It will be much more pleasurable for both of you if you keep each other well informed.
I hope what Ive said will help you and your bf in the future.
Also, dont let him make you feel pressured to lose any weight or anything. If your going to do it, do it for yourself. If he does pressure you and what not, you should either tell him to stop pressuring you, or leave. Because its just gonna keep happening until you let him know. Also sometimes us guys dont even know that you are feeling pressured. So once again, let him know.
Now, try getting him to give you a massage before, rub your back, put on some soft music, or some kind of music you like, and just relax. It will be much more pleasurable for both of you if you keep each other well informed.
I hope what Ive said will help you and your bf in the future.
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I had the same problem while about 3 years... I couldn't cum, I didn't know how. But recently I learned to relax and my boyfriend started fingering me different. Tell your partner to take their index and middle finger and curve them like when you point and say come here. You'll feel on the inside of her vagina where your fingers should be it'll be rough kind of like sand paper ( big different in the rest of the vagina, because it's really soft and smooth). Finger her like that until the rough pocket becomes larger (all i mean when i say larger is that it'll fill with liquid). Keep going and relax and you should cum. FYI: IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO GO PEE, KEEP GOING YOUR GOING TO CUM. YOUR NOT GOING TO PEE... YOUR BODY SHOULD SHUT DOWN WHEN YOUR GOING TO CUM SO YOU CAN'T PEE. If you can't get off that way, try standing up with them behind you. I hope this helps.
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hey, to the person above, i found your comment extremely useful :-) i have always had this problem and i have all of those things which could be the reason i cant cum... (stress, trust issues, emotional and body issues, etc, etc... i have all of them)
My bf pleases me and our sex is amazing, he does cum to early which bothers him but dosent bother me 1 bit... and he gets quite frustrated that i cant because he thinks hes doing something wrong. (and when he gets fraustrated, it puts more pressure on me.)
But when im having sex or if he is fingering me, i do feel like im going to pee so i sort of bring it down a level and tell him to stop, is this my problem? should he just carry on?
My bf pleases me and our sex is amazing, he does cum to early which bothers him but dosent bother me 1 bit... and he gets quite frustrated that i cant because he thinks hes doing something wrong. (and when he gets fraustrated, it puts more pressure on me.)
But when im having sex or if he is fingering me, i do feel like im going to pee so i sort of bring it down a level and tell him to stop, is this my problem? should he just carry on?
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I am 33 years and just a month ago I started not to come anymore, and it sucks. My hubby always cums to fast and it never bother me before but now it bothers me. I have been a bit stress out,but when we are together in the room alone, I try to clear my mind from the crazy things in life,but I am having problems
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I'm 20 years old and my boyfriend and i are crazy in love with each other. but lately i just can't seem to cum. i dont know what it is, there are things we do during sex that i get bored with that i do because he likes it and then after we do the things i like. but lately even the things i like dont seem to work. i dont have any trust issues or anything with him, he is absolutely the most perfect boyfriend. i just don't know whats wrong with me...does anybody wanna share some fun, new, and exciting things that i could try.
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-- as a reply, well maybe you're just tensed or stressed.
been there done that
try to relax
or lengthen the foreplay..because girls like it more when her boyfriend caress her..
let him kiss you all over or let him do oral sex...
this will lighten the mood and eventually will help you come
been there done that
try to relax
or lengthen the foreplay..because girls like it more when her boyfriend caress her..
let him kiss you all over or let him do oral sex...
this will lighten the mood and eventually will help you come
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Im having real problems with my feller, i have never cum during sex or oral, (without help from toys). its driving us both mad. he keeps talking about threesomes so he can make a women cum again, i know he wouldnt cheat on me, but i cant help feeling inadequate. i know lots of women dnt cum during sex but there must be a way :-( He also watches a lot of porn and i cant live up to his fantasies , im trying to lose weight for him aswell but ill never look like a fake photoshopped model!
i need to cum without toys. any detailed ideas would be great %-)
i need to cum without toys. any detailed ideas would be great %-)
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i just recently stopped being able to cum...i dont know whats wrong with me..im 21 and me and my fiance have the most AMAZING sex but the past four times we've done it, i cant cum...ive never had any problems before..what could it be?? i mean..every time im about to reach orgasm...it just...i dont know...stops..and its like i have to start all over again..does that make sense?? I tried seeing if i could climax on my own (masturbation) but i just had to give up..it was no use. Any advice??
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Man I am going through the same thing. I'm 19, I was in a sexual relatinship with the same guy for just under two years and nada. I have never had an orgasm even though we've done pretty much everything: oral, anal. fingering, normal penetration, etc etc. I certainly know confidence wasn't the problem because that guy did everything possible to make me realise how sexy I could be to him and it was a right confidence boost at a time when I needed it.
So I don't know what the problem was. It's like..on very few occassions we got to the point where I felt like I was getting close but then nothing after that, it just felt like it was so intense that there was one last hurdle to get over before the final release and I couldn't make that hurdle. I experience this when I'm doing things on my own as well and rather than thinking it was him that was inadequate, I've spent two years convinced that there's a problem with me. I just don't understand how it can be so hard for me to come and after watching him do it like 3, 4 times every time we had sex and me never being able to experience that orgasm, I was just left feeling angry and frustrated.
I'm not with that guy anymore and haven't been having sex since about January but I'm sort of worried whenever I do find a boyfriend again it'll just be the same thing. I can tell them exactly what it is I like in sex, and they'll do it, and it's still never enough :-(
So I don't know what the problem was. It's like..on very few occassions we got to the point where I felt like I was getting close but then nothing after that, it just felt like it was so intense that there was one last hurdle to get over before the final release and I couldn't make that hurdle. I experience this when I'm doing things on my own as well and rather than thinking it was him that was inadequate, I've spent two years convinced that there's a problem with me. I just don't understand how it can be so hard for me to come and after watching him do it like 3, 4 times every time we had sex and me never being able to experience that orgasm, I was just left feeling angry and frustrated.
I'm not with that guy anymore and haven't been having sex since about January but I'm sort of worried whenever I do find a boyfriend again it'll just be the same thing. I can tell them exactly what it is I like in sex, and they'll do it, and it's still never enough :-(
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