how to learn how to be good at sex.

Talk with your boyfriend while doing it, practice is key to, don't worry about it and just have fun.

**edited by moderator**

Practice makes perfect, haha! Seriously, the best advice I can give is to know yourself. Get really good at masturbating, know your own responses and learn to control them. If you get good at making love to yourself you can apply that knowledge to your boyfriend. Men's and woman's sex organs are homologous, so what you learn about yourself can be applied to your lover.

Good luck,

I know you are older now, and hope you have found some answers, but...

In this, as in many things, experience really is the best teacher. Studying books and sex manuals, even watching pornography will never be the same as hands-on experience. Even bad sex can teach us a lot. No pun intended, but if you stick with it, these things come in time. The brain is really good at figuring out what feels good, and losing what doesn't work so well. Sex feels good for a reason; we are SUPPOSED to like it. So, like anything that we are driven to do again and again, we LEARN how to make it work better each time we do it.

But remember, a sexual encounter -- lovemaking -- is not just driven by your penis or your clit (or your nipples, your belly button, your anus, your mouth -- whatever). In short, the physical sensations you can create are only a PART of what goes into becoming a good lover. Most important of all, as you begin to explore your sexuality, is to remember that the object of your desire is another human being, with their own fears and doubts, their own expectations, feelings and desires. Sex is a dance you do, even if it's with yourself right now. It's not just the technical bits about what part goes where. The size of your penis (or your breasts) is WAY less important than the kind of person they're attached to. Are you kind? Are you gentle? Are you considerate and thoughtful? Are you curious about the other person? Do you try to anticipate the other person's needs and satisfy them? Do you LISTEN and observe what they are telling you, and then do you adjust your behavior to match them? Is THEIR pleasure more important than your own? You will find that making someone feel loved and appreciated -- especially during sex -- will bring YOU great pleasure, too!

A word about ORGASMS: Most of it is actually in your head. Seriously, your BRAIN, your MIND really drives your body when it comes to orgasms. The brain takes the sensations you create and mixes them with memories, fantasies, images and other stuff in your mind to begin the process that culminates in orgasm. A lot has been written about that, here and elsewhere, but it bears repeating. Orgasm is a delicate dance you do with yourself and your partner. Lots of things go into making it happen, including strong feelings of love and caring for a partner. Lots of things can also get in the way -- subconscious fear of punishment, thoughts of being "bad", etc., even desires for a particular, absent partner can distract you or detract from the pleasure you both want and deserve.

So, keep exploring the sensations your bodies can create, and pay attention to that other person. Good Luck!