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Are you stymied regarding what is in the way of your happiness and emotional freedom?

We all want emotional freedom - freedom from having to use addictions to avoid our feelings, freedom from being a victim of others' choices, freedom to express who we are, freedom from anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, and fear.


There really is one primary key to emotional freedom.

The key is learning how to manage the deeper core feelings that we all had to learn to avoid as a child.

Children can tolerate a lot of emotional pain when they have a loving parent or other loving adult to be with them, to hold and comfort them, to not leave them alone, to reassure them that they will be okay, and to take whatever actions need to be taken to help them. But when children are left alone with unbearable loneliness, heartbreak, or grief, they cannot survive it - their little bodies are too small to tolerate all that intense emotional pain.

Most of us had things happen to us that caused us unbearable pain: physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse within the home or outside of it; loss of a parent, a sibling, or a close friend or relative; severe rejection at school or other places outside of the home; witnessing violence, racism, war; poverty - and so on.

If you didn't have a loving person to help you through trauma, what did you do with the unbearable feelings? Did you learn to disassociate, leaving your body to survive? Did you learn to be a very good child, giving yourself up and trying to be perfect? Did you learn to eat, drink, smoke, use drugs, stay glued to a TV and/or computer? Did you learn to turn to sex or pornography? Do you become angry and self-destructive or destructive toward others? Did you retreat into fantasy? Did you get sick a lot?

What are you still doing today to avoid the painful feelings of life - the loneliness, heartbreak, and grief of loss and others' unloving behavior?

All the protections you learned, all the ways of controlling to not feel your painful core feelings, are now creating your lack of emotional freedom. You achieve emotional freedom when you learn to manage your core painful feelings rather than avoid them.

Today, as adults, they are not as hard to manage as you might think. It is totally different today than it was when you were a child, because today you can be the loving Adult that your inner child needs to be okay. Today, you can learn to bring in the love, compassion, comfort, and wisdom your child needs from you. Today, you can take the loving action in your own behalf that brings relief.


The way to manage your core feelings is to do the 6 Steps of Inner Bonding, but instead of asking yourself what you are doing to cause your wounded feelings, you are asking your child what is happening externally that is causing your core feelings. Is someone being closed, unloving, abusive? Is something hurtful or dangerous happening? Are you needing comfort and compassion for a painful loss - of a loved one, of a job, of financial security? The major difference between using the 6 steps of Inner Bonding for core feeling rather than wounded feelings is that you are receiving information about what is happening externally rather than internally.

The other difference is at the end of the 6 Steps, you do one more step - you becoming willing to release the feelings to Spirit and ask for peace and acceptance to replace them. With very painful issues, you will need to do this over and over, each time they come up. With time and practice, you will find that you no longer need to avoid your core painful feelings with addictions to substances or processes. You find that you have become strong enough to feel your core painful feelings.

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