I let my boyfriend fingure me and I now feel awful

Dear 'MrJoey'

It could be that you have a very tough hymen. Did you bleed? Have you ever fingered yourself?

Some hymens are quite tough, and need surgically removed before intercourse can take place, but you can check whether your hymen is intact by inspection. You can self examine using a hand-mirror. I don't think any other damage has been done.

As you are in the UK, a check up with your GP or at a sexual health clinic could be considered.

Hope this helps

Im still with him and havent bled so far. I horse riding and Ive been told that thay could have some effect. He has sharp but not sharp fingure nails. If my parents found out I would be shot. Is there anything eles I can do to ease to pain or that he can do to help. Im still very sore. I have never fingured myself and I dont use tampons.Because he didnt go that far in could that effect this. Im very worried...

You shouldn't be panicking just yet, it could be that you were tense of this whole new thing, if the pain escalated you better see a doctor though... and next time don't let anyone do this to you unless you tried it on yourself first, no one knows your body more than yourself... why are you in a hurry anyway, your body is still changing, wait till you're 18 or something when your body has fully matured and is ready for such experiences.

This is her boyfriend. Is there anything I can do. Anything at all

Im dead if my parents find out Im dead meat. The pain is starting to go even tho Im abit bloated.

We did it because we cannot think of anything to do. If you have any sujestions in what we can do to keep our spark going without sex as we are both underage.

If you have been horse-riding and your hymen is still intact then it indicates that it is tough. Have you checked yourself?

Where exactly is the pain and discomfort? You might try Savlon cream or Sudocrem on the sore vulval area. Are you sure that his finger went into your vaginal orifice? Did he scratch your clit or urethral opening?

You shouldn't need sexual activity to keep your relationship spark going. If you do, there is something wrong with your relationship! You need to get to know each other's hopes, fears, dreams, expectations, religious and moral convictions &c. You need to know each other's minds and hearts intimately before you consider any physical intimacy. Enjoy mutual hobbies and activities. Sexual activity (of any sort) tends to be addictive.

You mention parental disapproval. Can you expand on this?

Hope this helps a bit more

The pain and discomfort is at the bottom of my crotch and my stomache area. It reall hurts to sit down so Im snuggled into him. He thinks he went in as his finger was wet. My parents disaprove of me being in a comited relationship for to reasons. 1- I ride for the under 18 cornwall eventing team. 2- Because of how badly upset I was after an awful relationship where I was cheated on. My boyfriend wants to now if there is anything he can do to help.

I think I understand. And I do feel for you. The two areas you mention are a long way apart: Your stomach is just below your rib-cage, and your crotch is at the top of your legs!

I was wondering if he damaged part of your vulva, which is why I was asking specific questions. Your clit or urethra might have been scratched for instance. If it is too embarrassing to describe in public, then private message me (I might pick up your message quicker that way also). If you do not understand the various parts of your genitalia, then feel free to ask. Be careful how much personal information you give out here in public for your own safety!

"at the bottom of my crotch" is rather vague (your crotch is where your legs meet). So which part hurts? Your clitoris? The vaginal vestibule? The vagina canal entrance? "He thinks he went in as his finger was wet" If you were aroused, the whole of your vulva would probably be wet! Have you visually checked your vulva yet? Is your hymen intact?

Maybe your boyfriend could get you some cream, or maybe some ice (covered with a cloth!), but first I would like to be sure of the exact problem.

 

My hymen looks okay but Ive still got an awful stomache ache. Im wondering if thats because I was wprried about what was going to happen. Hoeever the is long thin cut on the iside. Is this nything to eorry bout.

If your hymen is still intact, then it is probably quite tough. Pressure on it could cause an ache. Can you insert a finger (very carefully, and well lubricated)? Usually there is a finger sized aperture in the hymen to allow blood/secretions escape. Presumably you have no problems with your menstrual flow.

The stomach discomfort could well be from the worry.

"Hoeever the is long thin cut on the iside" please can you be more specific ... presumably not near your stomach! Are you talking about your vulva? That could be causing the 'sitting down' discomfort. Where exactly? Can you describe where it is in relation to your labia, clitoris, urethra and vagina? Antiseptic cream might be appropriate depending on where exactly it is.

The cut is inside my opening and lloks like a paper cut

Is there anything u can sujest we do in future if we do choose to do this again. I want to but my boyfriend is worried about hurting me again....

You say "The cut is inside my opening and lloks like a paper cut" and you said earlier "long thin cut". I am trying to reconcile a long thin cut on the inside of your vaginal wall with an intact hymen. I rather expected it to be in the vestibule by a labium minor rather than in the vaginal canal. I expect it was from a sharp fingernail. If vestibular, a little antiseptic cream might ease the soreness.

What you do may depend on you anatomy - every girl is a bit different (size and shape). He needs to keep his fingernails short and smooth whatever. Perhaps massaging your breasts and clit (through knickers at first) would be a good start, and see how you get on with that. However, bear in mind your parents concerns, and take things slowly. You are still young. We can talk more specifically and in detail in private if you wish.

Let me know how you get on.