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so this may sound silly but you must help me ... me and my boyfriend decided not to have sex now , because I would like to wait more time until I lose my virginity  ... we do make-out but without having "real sex" if you understand .. 

yesterday we were in a middle of something and we lost control .. he was moving fast and then i felt that he did something we were not supposed to do .. I pushed him away fast and went fast to the bathroom where I found small amount of blood .... I think he  teared my hymen..... but can this happen this quick ?! because I pushed him away immediately after i felt he's in that zone .... I'm really confused and i don't even know if it the blood was from a cut or if i lost my virginity although it was not decided and it was not the right place or the right time ... 

how can i know for sure ? and how far is the hymen ? I mean how deep must his penis enter to tear the hymen ???? any heeeeeeeeelp ????? 

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Yeah and I forget to mention that I'm 21 y

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Dear Jabareen

Where are you from, and what are the cultural and religious implications?

Technically, you are a virgin until a penis penetrates your vagina, after which you are no longer a virgin. This is whether (or not) your hymen is ruptured. Sometimes the hymen can be ruptured through ways other than sexual intercourse. Sometimes sexual intercourse can take place without rupturing the hymen.

However, in some cultures an intact hymen is treated as 'proof' of virginity. From my reading of your story, he did not penetrate you (you would have felt that), but he could have damaged or even ruptured your hymen. Some hymens are quite fragile.

The hymen is at the entrance to the vagina; not far in at all usually. You should be able to see it by using a hand mirror, spreading your labia, and looking into your vagina. So I think you may still be a virgin, but the 'proof' that might be required (although it's not really proof) may perhaps not be there.

Hope this helps. If you need to talk in more intimate detail, you can message me, although in public others can benefit.

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almost the same thing happened to me too..That as two yrs ago wen i was 18,he entered me a lil and i pushed him away..,i saw a lil blood too,and he tld me it was just a minor cut,,,pls help me..Am i stilll a virgin????????

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And since then,have never tried anything,not even oral sex...
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Dear Brandy

I think you probably are still a virgin.

However, that depends what you mean by "he entered me a lil". Did his penis actually enter your vaginal canal? It sounds as though it didn't, but you will know from what it felt like. A fuller description of exactly what happened would be helpful. Sometimes the penis enters the vulva (between the labia) without actually penetration the vagina.

It also depends what you mean by "Am i stilll a virgin"? If he penis did not enter your vagina, then you are still a virgin. However some people expect an intact hymen, and a ruptured hymen (however it happened) is considered a loss of virginity. Where are you from? What are the cultural and religious implications?

"i saw a lil blood too,and he tld me it was just a minor cut" A penis would not "cut"! not even create "a minor cut"! (perhaps he wanted to avoid an accusation of rape). It may be that there was a minor tear to your hymen. Hymens vary form woman to woman; some rupture easily; some are tough. Whether or not your hymen is intact can only be told by inspection. Try looking at it using a hand-mirror.

"And since then,have never tried anything,not even oral sex" That is wise. I would consider you a virgin morally, even if not in actuality.

I hope this helps. I await your response.

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