The first time i had sex with my girlfriend was a bust. when i ate her out i didnt get hard and i mentally panic'd and barely got hard enough to put the condom on. The next night she gave me oral also and i stayed hard with no problems. since then i haven't had the problem to the same extent but it has been present. I do not know why my penis doesnt get as hard as it used to or why it deflates while changing positions. Im an athlete with no health issues. Before her i was not very sexually active. during the summer with a girl im not as attracted to as my girl, i walked around very hard for atleast 20 minutes without ANY stimulation or a second thought. Now i WISH it could be like that. I dont have any problems keeping it hard when my girlfriend is giving me head...but when we have sex it goes soft when i take it out and the effort to get it back (kimd of) embarasses me. how can i get back to my "former glory". Could it have something to do with masturbating to porn 2-5 x a week?. do i need to see a therapist?. im too young for pills but this issue hurts my confidence level
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Hi Jack,
Anxiety will kill an erection - FAST. That likely explains the first time AND it explains why you're still having some problems. Your confidence took a hit.
You're NORMAL Jack. Any guy can go soft during sex, don't be embarrassed. Focus on something else if it happens, like her needs. She should understand - ask her. Yes, you can talk to her about sex.
Real life isn't what you see in porn.
Hope it helps.
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thank you..& usually my main focus is her...the first time i didnt even think about me to the point where i wasnt turned on...lately it has been harder feel turned on and stay turned on without thinking about it...i'm definitely attracted but that "heat of the moment" feeling doesn't happen that much..& it's not AS hard as it used to be...i just want it to be harder and consistently harder without effort...she doesnt pressure me or bat an eye when it happens though...just gives me oral till it's back up..i dont like HAVING to go through that process though
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As you get more experience with her Jack things should get better for you.
Do lay off the porn though. It isn't going to help.
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like medic Dan said....anxiety does kill stimulation....you're too worried about getting hard....just sit back and relax and let your mind and body do the work...sex and stimulations isn't something you force.....a full hard on will happen on its own....
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