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I'm 16 year old boy & It all started when my friend thought he was gay. So it made me think and for the past 6 months i've been scared, anxious and checking loads of websites to reassure myself.

When I was 14 I tried to watch gay porn out of curiosity & I didn't like it. I've always been attracted to girls since I was young and I watched loads of straight & lesbian porn. Then about January times I started to watch gay porn & shemale porn it turned me on but I didn't think anything of it & I've never been attracted to men and I just looked at it as porn.

Now because I've been over thinking everything from my past, I remember I had one gay experience with my close friend when I was about 7, I didn't know what I was doing, I was just a kid, I didn't know what sex was. But it's has caused me loads of problems and the fact gay porn turned me on in the past has made me very anxious and I just can't stop thinking what if I'm gay.

It's like the attraction to the porn came on suddenly could this be my hormones? 

I've had crushes on girls in primary school & secondary school I even thought I loved this girl. Being gay never popped into my mind before any of this I loved girls but now I feel like my attraction to girls has gone it's depressing me. So I look at pictures of men to see if I get turned on I don't but I feel very very anxious & it kills me inside.

Sometimes I get this weird feeling around my penis where I feel like im going to a erection it's like a tingle it's hard to explain. I feel soo anxious all the time & sometimes it will make my penis fill with a tiny bit of blood but it's not a erection I don't know why this happens.

Could this be my anxiety?

I've had real bad anxiety in the past where I have gone doctors loads of times & hospital & had loads of test because I thought I had a brain tumour, testicular cancer & heart disease my life is hell & I'm only 16 I don't know what to do. I smoke weed & that's what triggered my anxiety in september last year

Can someone tell me what they think?

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  Look up H C O D there is a lot of info there ..............Bob

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SORRY it is H O C D

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Anxiety can do all sorts of things to you, it could be what's causing you to not feel attracted to even females currently. You must consider you might even be bisexual? That does happen y'know and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway, it sounds like you're a bit of a worry wart and so am I so I think I understand. Sometimes throughout the day I feel fine then some vague memory or outside source pops up and I can fully convince myself that I have to have my hand amputated (I had a moderate wrist injury, completely blew it out of proportion.)

I dunno if this will be comforting to you or not but when I was a child I too had a couple of lesbian experiences with friends, this was for me also before I had sex on my mind. I am 100% heterosexual today. Even though I had a few homosexual encounters I never doubted my orientation. I mean, I did for a short while think I might be bisexual and that was when I was about your age but it passed, was just a curiosity thing I guess. When you ruminate and ruminate it can be pretty easy to convince yourself of anything. I know it's so hard to stop worrying but from experience these worries usually subside even if you replace them with new just as painful worries which anxiety sufferers like myself tend to do. I guess that mightn't have been the most comforting thing to say but for the record I'm a highly anxious person and I'm doing O.K for the most part. I'm getting better at dealing with it that's for sure and I truly believe I will be free of it at some point, maybe even really soon.

 

I wish you well, and I don't know if I really made this point but in my opinion it doesn't sound like you are gay.

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I should probably add that I have too been a pot smoker since I was 17, was generally fine with it but it recently started causing me panic, anxiety, paranoia and psychosis and I had to kick it. Feel more stable now, less confusion.

Edit; I am 22

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I know how you feel but that doesnt mean your gay i like shemale porn,analfisting and other stuff i even like alittle anal stimulation,but humans are curious creatures.Just relax alittle and stop smoking trust me,i had serious anxiety attacks from it and even paranoia.
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Michael, Most guys play aroung with a cousin or freind while you are growing up is normal. Sometimes they say no, but most of the time he was as curious as I was. But we were horsing around, doing something we were not supposed to.One night I camped out with my girlfriends brother,we checked things out. But it was just kids curiosity. But when we went on double dates, we were in the back seat, and I wanted to see what they were doing in the front..I dated till after shool. And a coule more times.But it was like a light colored skin black girl, she had a daughter. And she knew my story, everything, and we still could have gotten Married to me. And she turned and she had the exotic beauty, Like Eman not average, striking beauty! She was with Striking, but turned heads when we came in. But all the rest were like a game, once it was done, I had no interest, and went on to the next one. I Know men, married had kids, and came out when they were 60 years old, because they wanted a family. My luck has been for s**k for so long. I've had 5 hernias, a hydroseal, herniated dislc,in lower back. and the summer before 1st grade, I had Typhoid fever, in the hospitel for a month and 4 days. But don't stress out over stuff. will put you in an early grave!!!
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That you are gay and you got to get over it I did
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do you really know the person you get pot from? It always put me to sleep if no one was around. A guy smoked a joint with crack in it without telling me, But,cocaine doesn't effect me, never has,so the pot was alright, but that was it. Some will give you crackk to get you started and hooked. I wouldn't do acid today, in the 70's it was all good. Now, who knows what they put in the sh*t they sell!!!
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