I'm 14 years old and I'm seriously worried and confused, for 1 year. I am straight and have been for the rest of my life, but I weirdly get turned on by men.
I get turned on by women but not all the time. I masturbate to lesbian porn (granny and mature porn turn me on the most) and I get a very good orgasm and I also masturbate the straight porn. However, when I try to fantasies about a woman, I don't get turned on easily. It feels as if I want to get turned on, but I don't. There are times I get turned on easily and masturbate, with good pleasure. When I see a girls bum, I get turned on a bit sometimes and then I fantasies about f*****g her, but if I see a shirtless man, I get turned on easily. I have naval festish with men and I get turned on when a man has an innie naval. I have discovered this since I was a child. I used to fantasize about passionately belly rubbing a man, and that is about the only fantasies I have had about men. Sometimes the fantazies used to be more than that.
I have never crushed on a male before, but in school there was this boy I really wanted to be like and tried to act like him. My mind tried to make me think that I liked him, and I had unwanted fantasies but I didn't like him and it was mostly just curiosity. I see him I school and everything is normal, althought i cant believe what happened. I have never crushed on my male friend and then once I thought I did but I didnt (halleluyah). I have always liked girls and have had girlfriends. I feel very emotionally attracted to girls. I met this girl and I fell in love with her. I connected so much with her and my heart beat fast each time we talked. I had this warm and effectionate feeling. We went out for a little while, but she moved back to Japan. I liked this girl when I was 11, and I used to annoy her a lot, I kissed her on the cheek once and always tried to hold her hand. I asked her out soo many times but she rejected me. I also liked this girl when I started high school and I would always purposely do something in front of her or cause arguments to get her attention. I wouldn't stop staring at her and tried to chat her up so much times. I still have some affection for her. I recently liked this girl and asked her out, but she rejected me and I still feel some affection towards her too. I have a close female friend. I gradually started to like her and when I wanted to tell her how I feel, she likes someone else. It hurt me a lot and I would fantasize about f*****g her and losing my virginity with her and other girls. Even though I don't like her, I got jealous when I heard she liked someone else.
I play games online, such as IMVU and I feel comfortable to identify as straight. But then the doubt comes and I end up doubting whether I'm lying to myself. I feel comfortable with the hook ups, but dont give them my personal info. Ive watched gay porn before and I used to get rock hard turned on by the hairy bellies and naval. But now, I don't get turned on by males anymore. If I see a belly with an inner belly button, I may get a little bit turned on or not at all. I search topless men everyday just to prove to myself that I'm not really getting turned on. Sometimes it makes me feel as if I may be forcing myself and I'm not. I am very insecure about myself and how I look, and when I see a guy I think looks attractive by his face I get turned on. But now I don't really and maybe only a little bit. Sometimes I won't stop thinking about them and I imagine I'm them when I wank.
In porn if I enjoy seeing the girl and then I see the man has an Innie naval, my attention turns there. This is really weird. Also most times when I get turned on by men, my heart beats fast and I get this warming feeling. I looked it up and it may be gronial response. If I sometimes see an attractive looking male actor, I become a little obsessed by them and always wish to be them and get turned on by girls the way they do. I read coming out stories but I don't really relate to them as much. I don't feel secretly gay, although my mind is doubting my sexuality. If I get turned on/a bit by woman and a little bit turned on/not by guys, then I'm confused. In GTA 5, i get turned in by the strippers when they take off their bra (getting a bit turned on ). I always imagine marrying a woman and starting a YT channel with them. When I see straight couples in school, I fantasize hugging my girlfriend and kissing her in school. I always feel like there is a very huge arousment with girls deep inside, but it doesn't happen. I'm not bisexual because I don't really have crushes on boys, only girls. I have taken a sexuality test, even when I'm honest, I have gotten straight. I got a 2 in the Kinsley scale and 63 or 70% straight, 20-something % bi and 5% gay in another test. Help, im really confused
Loading...
Hello,
What you've given out is a lot and it seems like you're going through something really hard in your life, during puberty your mind opens up to everything. Sexuality is one of the hardest things to figure out, don't rely on a test, rely on you and what you want. I was in a similar situation to you, during early puberty I was conflicted with my sexuality. I would date girls but throughout that time I would see an attractive guy and find myself staring at him and would start to fantasize without even noticing I was doing it. During puberty I started to notice it, I then become confused and it was the most frustrating thing ever. I would look at shirtless men and watch gay porn, I became annoyed at myself and forced myself to believe that I liked girls, similar to like what you're going through. After I while of thinking and researching I came out as gay. If you're worried about being gay, pansexual, bisexual, etc... I understand, it's a scary thing at the thought that people may judge you for who you are but I can tell you now that there are people who will support you no matter what. The situation you've explained I've gathered that you may be Bisexual but Hetero-romantic, you feel sexual pleasure from both males and females but only attracted to females romantically. I don't want you to take my word that you define as those things, I want you to find out yourself, find out who you are through YOU. Don't rush into it as it'll only put you back further. Don't be afraid to experiment and find out what you like and dislike. Before I found out my sexuality I was experimenting with so many other sexualities and that's okay. Take you're time, it may be annoying and confusing but you will find out the answer. I wish I could give you the answer you're looking for but only you can find that answer. I wish you the best of luck!
- Leaf
Loading...
Thank you for the advice. This has happened for a year now. I think that the sexual attraction I have towards men stems from the fact that I am insecure about myself and my body. My first sexual experience was with a girl, and I remember getting a bit turned on. I have searched Hetero-romantic, but it doesn't seem fully right. I heard that straight men also get turned on by other men and it's normal. They may admire the male form or just find the same gender attractive, not in a way meaning they are gay. Sometimes I will feel comfortable then the self doubt comes. But now, sometimes I get turned on by men a little bit, but then I don't same with women sometimes. I thought for a little while that it may be asexuality or OCD due to the fact I get this warming feeling when I am getting turned on by men in porn. My heart tells me I'm straight but my mind doubts it. I have these weird fascination about bellies, which may be why I get turned on. I watched gay porn, I got turned on due to naval fetishism, but also due to the sexual act not the males. I had this female lodger in my house, and I had several sex fantasies about passionatley rubbing her belly and having sex with her. The thought of lesbian grannies get me turned on instantly. But I still am not sure, even though I still believe I am straight.
Loading...
Puberty is a completely confusing time for most of us, but you have received some good advice from others here!
I, like many do, believe that everyone is somewhere along the sexual spectrum from 100% gay to 100% straight. Many of us continue to be arousable, to coin a phrase, by the same sex, and that often plays into our heterosexual activities. I'm sure the reverse is true as well. Our sexuality evolves and adjusts as we mature, but we retain strong influences from our infancy and early childhood. Your attraction to male bellies, for example may stem from a long forgotten feeling you had as a baby when you were placed on a man's belly, perhaps, or bathed together. Likely you were naked, or you might both have been naked, and it printed an indelible feeling in your young mind, that is now being conjured up at the sight of men's bellies. Don't sabotage your sexual feelings by worrying that you are feeling something you "shouldn't", or NOT feeling something you should. Our sexuality is a very delicate mix of sensations, memories and desires. Try to accept, enjoy and explore the feelings and sensations you experience, without expectations as to whether you should or shouldn't feel them. They are all part of you, and do not have to be in conflict. They don't make you "weird", or "sick". You need not express these things out loud to anyone you are with sexually, unless you believe you can be that kind of intimate with them. The things that turn you on secretly are yours and yours alone. They are special to who you are, and need not be shared with anyone. This does not mean they are "wrong" or "deviant" in any way. You may even find that that special person is ALSO turned on by exploring the same kinds of "opposites" as you. Anyone who judges you negatively for the things you feel is not likely to be someone who should be in your life for very long anyway.
Remember this -- when it comes to making love with someone, to loving someone else, it really doesn't matter what "bits" are on the outside, does it? Everyone wants to feel loved, special and attractive in someone else's eyes. Be a kind, gentle and considerate lover -- whomever you are with, and you should get the same in return.
Loading...