Labiaplasty went wrong, I hope I'll find the courage to continue living

Hello , 

i decided to post on this site because it seems that they are more women like me here . So I had my labiaplasty one year and a hal ago . I was 20 at that time . I was in depression for some other reasons and the only thing that I thought would me make me happy again was getting rid of my ugly labias . Three months after my labiaplasty I committed suicide ( antidepressant pills made me more depressed ) . Just to tell you how horrible I felt about myself at that time . Then I came back to my country and smoked weed for almost a year daily to just make myself feel better . Two months ago I decided that I wanted to change my life and quit smoking ( I was still studying and I was actually a good student ) . Then after quitting it suddenly hit me , the fact that I could feel nothing when touching my clitoris .. Yeah botched labiaplasty . She completely removed one side and even touched my clitoralhood ( she wasn't supposed to do that ) . When I went to see her she told me that she avoided 1cm around my clitoris and she didn't touch the upper part which is true . I was virgin at the time of my surgery because I was ashamed of myself . I went to see two other gyn . One told me that yeah she might have affected the nerves ( didn't explain more ) and he said that no one would ever want to get married with me ! Like wtf ! And the other told me that my nerves wouldn't be affected by labiaplasty ! What a lie ! I can get some kind of orgasm by my uspot and vagina being stimulated at the same time . But nothing compared to when I used to masturbate on my own way before . I feel hurt , like really ! I've lost 10 kgs in the past one month and half . I sleep thinking about it wake up thinking about it and the fact that they tell me it's all mental is killing me . Like wtf ! Don't tell me I'm mentally ill because you screwed up with your surgery ! So I wanted to know if any one you did neurological research after going through the same thing and were you able to do something about it ? I hope I'll find the courage to live because I don't want my family to live my suicide nightmare again ! I'm a strong person but after going through so much I'm just lost ..?