Is there anyone out there that has experience with dementia/Alzheimers? My mom has been diagnosed with dementia and I am one of the primary caregivers. My dad who is also 81 is also elderly. I need some support around losing my mom, but at the same time to just allow her to be who she is without me getting annoyed or frustrated with her or my dad.
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Hello, Anitabergpratt.
Caring for a loved one with dementia is a profound challenge that many people face. It's normal to experience a wide range of emotions, including grief, frustration, exhaustion, and sadness. Here are some strategies and resources that may help you navigate this difficult journey.
Learn as much as you can about the disease. Understanding the progression and behaviors associated with dementia can help you anticipate and manage care needs more effectively.
Join a support group for caregivers of people with dementia. These groups provide a space to share experiences and coping strategies, and to feel understood by others in similar situations.
Consider individual therapy to help you process your feelings of loss and the stress of caregiving.
Coping Strategies for Caregivers
- Patience: Remind yourself that the behaviors exhibited by your mother are symptoms of the disease, not intentional acts.
- Self-care: Take care of your physical and emotional health. It's important to rest, eat well, exercise, and take breaks when needed.
- Respite Care: Look into respite care options to give yourself a break. It's essential for maintaining your health and well-being.
- Routine: Establish a daily routine. This can be comforting for both your mother and you, providing structure and predictability.
Managing Frustration and Annoyance
- Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness and deep-breathing exercises to manage in-the-moment frustration.
- Change Your Expectations: Adjust your expectations of both your mother and yourself. Accept that there will be good days and bad days.
- Communication: Learn communication strategies that are effective in dementia care, such as using simple sentences, avoiding arguments, and engaging in distraction when needed.
Resources
- Alzheimer’s Association: They offer a 24/7 helpline (1-800-272-3900), online resources, and local support groups.
- National Institute on Aging: Provides information on caregiving tips and health information for Alzheimer's.
- Local Community Resources: Senior centers, community organizations, and religious institutions often have resources or can connect you with local support.
Taking Care of Your Father
- Involve Him: Your father may also be struggling with the changes in your mother. Involve him in care decisions and provide him with support.
- Assistive Services: Investigate home health aides, adult day care, meal services, and transportation assistance that can alleviate some of the burdens.
Grieving the Loss While Your Loved One Is Still Here
- Ambiguous Loss: Recognize that you may be experiencing ambiguous loss, where the person is physically present but psychologically changed. Seek support from professionals or support groups that understand this specific type of grief.
- Memory Care: In some cases, as dementia progresses, looking into memory care facilities that specialize in dementia can be a more suitable option for comprehensive care.
It’s important to remember that you’re not alone, and there are many people and organizations out there to support you. Accepting help from others does not make you any less of a caregiver; it's a practical and necessary part of the caregiving journey.
Hope this helps.
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