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i have a long distance realtionship and my girlfriend masterbates more than i do and i think she has a problem but i dont know what to tell her about it like how to go about saying it. i dont know the effects it could have on our sex life or the effects it could have on her so what should i do?


If you feel this is a serious topic for the two of you to discuss, open up gently. Say, "Honey, there's something I'd like to discuss. It's important to me, and I'd like to mention it because I love you and I care about us so deeply." She'll appreciate a soft opening like that.

Once the subject is open, use "I" statements, like "I feel," "I wish," "I think," etc. Keep the topic about how the two of you feel about the situation, leaving problem solving until later. When she's talking, validate what she's saying, such as, "So you think this..." or "Oh, I see." If she gets defensive, try not to get defensive yourself. Just listen. Avoid defensiveness and criticism, especially contempt. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, tell her that and say that the two of you should have a break from the conversation.