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I have been staying with my boyfriend since 2008, things were not that perfect at the begining, i thought there were bad, but i said to myself, lemme stay and just support him and let him know that i love him, it started when we would have sex only once in a weekend, then once in two weeks, then once in two months, then i started complaining, but from there it got worse, we ended up having sex three times in one year, now this year we havent had sex at all, his penis cant open up at all, i have tried talking to him about this, and he just get crossed with me, everytime i talk about this, i have tried cheating coz i was missing sex, but at the end of the day, i felt like i was being not fair, last night i spoke to him that he should go for circumcision and also to see a mans doctor , he nearly bit my head off....I love him so much, i dont want to lieve him but as much as i would like to love him, I have needs as a woman. Would someone help me, am i being selfish here?


I think it's a tricky situation.  On the one hand, you desire physical affection from your boyfriend, which is natural.  On the other hand, your boyfriend is probably embarrassed and hurt by his inability to have sex with you.

I suggest the two of you really sit down and talk this out.  Let him know how you feel.  Use I statements, such as "I think..." and "I feel...," as these help the other person feel less defensive and more understood.  Tell him positive feelings, as well: that you love him, that you understand it's hard for him too, etc.  Tell him that it's important that you guys have sex more.  If you feel he needs to see a medical professional, let him know.  As he was angry before, you may expect him to get angry again.  Don't get defensive.  Use body language that lets him know you understand.  Look at him head on, nod, and don't close off your body by folding your arms.  These will communicate that you're listening and that you understand.  After he's done communicating anger, invite him to open up.  Say, "I'm concerned about us and about you.  If you want to tell me how you feel about it, please do."  Perhaps he'll be more inclined to get help after he receives a lot of compassion.  (When people are embarrassed, they could use compassion.)  If he's not ready to open up about it, let him cool off.  Say to him that it's all right if you two take a break from talking; however, also let him know that it does need to be discussed at some point.  In that discussion, you can try suggesting things to do or asking sexual things that he'd like to do.  It doesn't have to be a stressful conversation; it can also be a fun conversation.

If the problem does not get solved eventually, it is within your right to move on.  If you choose to do that, don't blame yourself and don't blame him.  Again, it's a tough situation and understandable on both sides.