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hi im dean im 23 and i need help.
i love my girl friend so much we been together almost 5 months now and its been amazing!

but she has bipolar and i have trouble dealing with it.
my girl friend tells me she loves me im the love of her life and she wont ever let me go.

but 90% of the time she dont want me touching her. i cant hug her, kiss her, hold her, talk to her, or even be in the same room.

everything i do pisses her off she blames me for everything when she is down!
( even the cheese i put on her burgers! to breathing in my sleep! )
and i cant even sit in MY own bed and watch tv with her most nights she makes me sit on the floor. and she has totaly lost her sex drive ( is this normal? )

she is on alot of meds and with out them she will harm her self and even try to kill herself randomley. and she dosent want to goto therapy.

i know shes not herself at times when she is on a low but she is always on a low and it makes me feel so worthless unwanted and taken for granted!

im starting to blame my self for everything! i even feel guilty for wanting to give her a cuddle.

she says she needs space and time on her own but im sceard to give it to her...

my last relationship left me with HUGE trust issues and no confidence in myself at all. at the end i tryed to comit suicide thats how bad it was on me. im sceard if i give her more space she will be doing somthing behind my back.

i love my girl with all my heart and i have no trouble being there for her when she needs me and to stick out the bad times no matter what! because its worth every moment when she says i love you and i see her little smile : ) i just want to help her it breaks my heart!

i just need to know im not alone in all this...
is anyone going through the same thing?

many thanks


Well, for starters, I must commend you for being there for a woman that is going through as much as she is as its obvious its taken a toll on you too.

It does sound like her meds are not stabilized and she needs to have them re-evaluated. When is the last time she has seen her prescribing doc? I know you are scared but if there is anyone she would listen to it would be need to sit her down or take her to the most non-threatening place you can find and the whole time reassure her that your only reason for doing this IS BECAUSE you love her and you WANT things to work out between the two of you. Tell her how u feel. Use the nicest words you can possiably find and make sure you tell her how much she means to you over and over. ... People with bi-polar disorder CAN live a normal life and CAN think logically. It takes the right meds at the right doses and a good support system that arent afraid to stop her when she is being irrational and ask her to think about what she is saying or doing (in the most non-threatening way possiable) there is SO much more to all of this and it would take days to go through it all....your best bet really is to find a good doc for her and convince her to just give it a try (not necessarily therapy but just a doc that can help stabilize her meds) Offer to go with her if she will let you. Just be there as much as you can but please don't put yourself last. ... What good will you be to anybody if YOU fall into a deep depression and get to the point where you said you have been not wanting to live??? That my friend, is not a good sign and makes me worry.... Anyone dealing with an unstable bi-polar had their limits- no matter how good their intentions are....there is only SO much a person can take and ultimately you NEED to put yourself first.
Try to find a time where she seems the most stable and sit down with her and have a long heart to heart. You might be suprised just how responsive she is to what you have to say and might actually be able to work on some of the things she does without professional help....You might be all the help she needs...or support. Just letting her know that you are willing to be patient but she needs to try to be nicer...ect. ect.
The best rule of thumb for her would be....think before matter how at "ends" she feels.


Listen bipolar is dangerous, I know because I am bipolar and have been for 30 years. She needs help and you can not do it yourself. The most important thing is she needs to realize she has a problem and needs help. I have put butcher knifes through my husband twice and pulled a gun on him. And when you get that angry you black out and have no clue who you are. It's kind of like an out of body experience. She needs a shrink- the one that gives meds and counsels. I am a mother of a child who had cancer at 2 and then was molested and I almost lost my mind. Do not try to do this on your own. Also the wrong drugs can make things worst for her. If she goes off them which alot of people do when they are in a good state of mind and she hurts someone she is held accountable.If you love this person remember she does not feel the mean things she says to you at times. Now with my hubby when he finally stuck up for himself I slowed down a bit. Once I slugged him across the face- after about 200 times of me beating him- he finally slapped me across the face. I have never hit him again. I deserved it and needed it. I don't suggest this I'm just telling you how it worked for us. Please remember and understand that this is a hell of a ride for you imagine being in her head. I have lived in HELL my whole life. and it will never be perfect. Love her unconditionally and remember be safe. if you can't get out. Also if she works and has been diagnosed with bipolar she could qualify for disabilty and then medicare and they will help her with meds and counselling. Sometimes this sickness is bad believe me I often want to die. I do agree that if you can not keep yourself up, you need out. there are group counselling or individual counselling for people dealing with families with bipolar and there are books. This may be the hardest thing you ever do in your life. The choice is yours. You need to think if your strong enough mentally for this or not. My e-mail is **edited by moderator*button** emails not allowed please read terms of service


Judging from the way you speak, you really do like her. The thing is, i have an elder sister who has bipolar as well. Except that she is completely different with your girlfriend- she came back from studying overseas and suddenly shes a lesbian, she attacks me and my female neighbour by sitting on top of us, and sometimes moving like shes doing "something" even on me! Her own sister!

She also has a tendency to be extremely obsessive over everything- she wants everybody to love her. She is so aggressive that after dealing with her for 2 years, i am now very scared of her. Shes much better now... You want to know why?

Talks from deep down the heart and calm expressions, gratitude and stable support from you is all they need. Besides that you need to have proper medicine (not all medicine is right for her). Stable support as in: let her know that no matter what she does, you will always be there. Try to not aggravate her, and give in to everything she does. That is the only solution to keep her from running. There is much more to say, but fate is in your hands, as it is you who handles it.

Peace out.